what's up my hamslice

do you ever feel yourself fail a charisma check in real time

i hate it when i cant even write a poem about something because its too obvious. like in the airbnb i was at i guess it used to be a kids room cause you could see the imprint of one little glow in the dark star that had been missed and painted over in landlord white. like that's a poem already what's the point

you get it. you get the themes. i dont have time to do it justice. just look at it its on the ceiling

this is my first time in the pacific northwest. we drove through a forest so wet and foggy you couldn’t see the bends in the road ten yards ahead of you and it straight up felt like a horror game until we emerged into a sunny valley with a rainbow over it and then we went to a taco bell and in it there was a guy dressed like a hot dog and a guy dressed like hamburger. is it all like this

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

They dumped plastic skeletons in environmentally protected areas, against the literal contracts they had to sign to get the permits to film in environmentally protected areas. Like they not only did a bad ecological thing that freaked out some divers, they literally broke environmental protection laws and their contract with the Italian government

Trying to sleep during a heatwave is a great reminder that all oil executives need to die painful painful deaths

look at my head boy

… I am unironically here for this

this is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life

I’m scared guys

Let's make it worse!