time to sin

Because there's a lot of fresh faces on this blog and some people aren't getting this.

Consent is mandatory. If you interact with someone's post and they tell you you've made them uncomfortable, oblige them and remove yourself from the situation, take down your post, unfollow them, etc. Your kink is not above someone else's comfort. Follow up: if you see "men DNI" or "women DNI", etc. clearly listed and you belong to said group, do not fucking interact

Put your age in your bio. I don't know how many times you people have to see that before you do it. If you are not forthcoming with your age, you do not get to interact with adult content. People can't consent to you if you don't say how old you are. If you're actually a minor, leave. You're endangering people by being here.

Do not impose your kinks on someone else's post. Especially on non-sexualized posts and ESPECIALLY if you do not know them.

Do not send unsolicited sexual messages. Especially with people who you have never interacted with before. It's creepy. And with people you do know? It still needs to be solicited, bucko. Ask them first.

Treat online kink like you would treat kink in person. If you ignore consent, boundaries, and comfort in a real kink community, you are no longer welcome in that community.

If it says don't reblog, don't reblog. Respect people's privacy.

I've read securities offerings and investment contracts that are less complicated than whatever bullshit ESPN has going on

therapists have told me that adhd isn't an issue of unpredictable motivation, but rather of social motivation. I think this is accurate! however, I don't think that's intrinsic and I don't think it is an 'incorrect' source of motivation to unlearn in favor of individualistic "self-motivated" patterns either.

humans rely on social systems for survival. difficulties with communication, memory, and perception of time and space generally lead to others perceiving you as inconsiderate or unreliable, especially within cultures shaped by capitalist relations. when you struggle with these things, you are perpetually on thin ice with everyone. to survive, your highest priorities become actions which grant immediate reassurance of your ability to maintain social relationships with other people.

like am I going to do the thing no one knows or cares about? or am I going to do the thing that leads to someone saying "thank you so much"? obviously the latter! and so you'll see a lot of people with adhd neglecting things like personal health, cleaning/organizing their own space, doing their own job, etc., and prioritizing things like helping their friends talk through emotional shit at 2am.

this is also why I think the 'co-working with friends' thing helps so much for a lot of us. if you're cleaning your living space, especially if you live alone, there is rarely a social incentive that comes with that labor. but if you're video chatting with someone while you both do domestic labor, you can congratulate each other on what you get done and reaffirm that relationship.

I think social affirmation obviously helps a lot of people beyond those with adhd too. but like, adhd is generally perceived as the "fuckup who can't get anything done" disorder, so expressing basic social appreciation for things they get done does actually directly help.