Amusing the Shadows

you know how if a baby gets hurt and they’re about to cry but you can start laughing or cooing and they won’t cry but laugh or whatever instead? Yea.. don’t do that. It’s been proven that it makes them think pain is “funny” and they will turn into killers -___-

but what about you OP?

Talk about whiplash

Alright, well it’s a movie about a guy wanting to be a jazz drummer and the instructor he has is very cruel and abusive - but although his methods have driven a past student to kill himself, in the end the main guy is able to drum solo really fast so it all works out!

fairly reliably when someone is mean and weird to you on Tumblr, you can look on their blog and all their recent posts will be about how unhappy they are in their interpersonal relationships and/or how frustrated they are that their creative venture hasn't found success. and it's like ohhhhh okay, I get it. you're clawing at other people because you're actively drowning. my sympathies, that sucks, but I'm not a lifeguard so carry on.

sorry to be a broken record every month but christ menstruation is a stupid concept. oooooh excuse me for not getting pregnant, why the fuck is there goo falling out of me about it? grow the fuck up and reabsorb that shit for nutrients.

these teenagers and their dog are trying ruin our money laundering business. no tony put the gun down were doing this the old fashioned way. were gonna dress up as monsters and scare them

Marine biologist here: this is the giant pacific octopus, one of the largest species of octopus and cephalopod on earth! And while intimidating, and technically powerful enough to do so, most octopuses do not have reason or instinct to pull a grown adult into the water, as their natural diet is comprised of a very different prey of mollusks, crustaceans, and small fish. (And occasionally each-other) This guy was most likely just curious, as octopuses can have the mental capacity of a small child, making them one of the most intelligent animals in the world. And although yes, all octopuses are venomous to some extent, the potency of the giant pacific octopus, though painful, is not fatally dangerous to humans if treated properly, and is only inflicted through bite from their powerful beaks, which are rarely used on humans. it is also not typically aggressive to us, with only about 4 documented attacks on divers having been recorded in the past 25 years or more. As long as you are calm and careful, you will be ok. What an amazing experience. Protect your marine ecosystems so we can ensure a future for these incredible animals!

i want it to have sex to me

I don’t think the octopus would want that, as breeding for an octopus usually means the end of its life.

what, i'm not worth it?

I mean the octopus barely knows you. Maybe buy them a drink or two and go on a few dates. Learn their hobbies. I hear octopi keep fabulous gardens.

i will woo the beast

"she thinks this is bonding behavior" my friend this has BECOME your bonding behaviour

they won't tell you this in therapy but sometimes the best way to stop catastrophizing/anxiety is to interrupt your spiraling with "girl what the hell are you talking about"

its good to acknoweldge the hollowness of revenge but sometimes you really do just need a story about someone who gets hurt and then kills and kills and kills and kills their enemies. its cathartic, babey.

"there's nothing that can bring my loved one back, so there's no point in killing you" and "there's nothing that can bring my loved one back, so there's nothing that can save you" are two themes that can and should co-exist

"nothing will ever undo what you did to me, so killing you solves nothing" and "nothing will ever undo what you did to me, but at least i can make sure you won't do it to anyone else" are also themes that can and should co-exist

idont remmeber what the rest of the post was going to say. use your impregnation i dont care

you get what i mean.

$0

we justifiably give Biden a lot of shit but I think "at least 3" is the funniest possible response to some right wing dipshit asking you how many genders there are

Worlds oldest haunted house has passed away at the age of 207

out of the backyard gang baljeet is one of the worst to make into a coffee table. ferb would also be pretty bad. phineas and isabella would be mid because they have those bigass heads but the skinny bodies. might be worse than baljeet and ferb if you're a person who cares about symmetry. buford would objectively make the best coffee table because his silhouette has the most evenly-spaced surface area. now if you wanna talk about pnf characters in general i think pet mode perry would be the best coffee table out of all of them

love this kinda post where you have to have seen a different specific post for it to make any sense at all