God Is Looking Back

reblog this and tell me your favorite album written and performed by a woman?

There’s a brusque pragmatism among working class women from certain uk communities/demographics that is exceptionally well represented in the writing of Lori Kennedy. I see her and I think of my mother and aunties and their familiar refrain when asked why they’re not more upset about something. ‘that won’t buy the children a coat’. The family female motto. What use is crying if it won’t alleviate the work that still needs doing. Every woman in my family does the same thing when she’s boiling over with rage. She cleans, silently. Being emotional is a distinctly male luxury, one often witnessed and endured. not something afforded to the women, who had to make sure the children were washed and clothed and the meals were cooked and the house was managed. I think of my cousin, overwhelmed and 25 at the time, crying in her mother’s living room because of work stress. My auntie’s sharp voice cutting through, ‘I’ll not be having you crying in my house on a Sunday evening. If there is a problem, then do something about it.’ I think of my grandmother’s intolerance for any hint of indecisiveness, no matter whether it was about major life choices or what biscuit to choose from the tin. ‘Shit or get off the pot, girl.’ I think of sitting, heartbroken and wounded by a man prone to dark moods, as my grandmother said ‘when it comes to men, you either keep a core of steel deep inside yourself that they can never touch, or you don’t bother with them.’ There’s a stoicism among the women where I come from that is borne of generations of poverty and misogyny and exhaustion and suffering. We learn young that being crippled by emotional distress is an indulgence. Losing your shit is for fellas, with their rages and tantrums and their weeping over footie. The women have to get on with it.

the setting of half man is under discussed imo. im no expert in glasgow gothic but the show's scottish identity strikes me as important. glaswegians are some of the most ridiculed people in the english speaking world and particularly in the 80s/90s it was infamous for it's high rates in poverty and violence. that there's a prestige show airing on the bbc, showing the community in earnest, (that isn't a sitcom or a police procedural) is pretty notable by itself. coming from a similar background, i know that there are certain types of normalized crime that celebrate machismo, and so a lot of ruben's expression is informed and encouraged by the culture around him. as is niall's, it's really compelling to me that niall can't seem to conceptualise a life where he is openly gay and scottish, that his freedom hinges on emigration. and yes a big part of him wanting to move to oxford is to move away from his immediate circle of perception, but like i don't think it's a coincidence that the only openly gay man as of episode 3 is a brown immigrant. the gentrification involved in a shift from glasgow to oxford is a pretty sensitive area, that you can't have a scottish success story without settling down in england first. gay iconography, at least in early 90s britain, being associated with this kind of posh lifestyle that doesn't coincide with those in the estates, excludes glaswegians from a relatable queer identity. his ma's gay and his girlfriend's woke so there is literal proof under his roof that this is a life that's possible, but that the jury would like a thug more than a fag is a reflection of how homosexuality is viewed as an outsiders sport. i expect that when we see niall and ruben in contemporary scotland, there will be a reflection of how that mentality has drastically changed over the years and how queerness is recognisable across classes and counties. i don't know if this is something they'll ever tie together/make explicit in the text. but it's there. to me.

this show was so insane every other episode they would be like sam winchester is like a house that burned down he’s not even alive he’s falling apart i’ve invaded your brain and i can’t believe you live like this you’re a mess you can handle an unholy amount of torture because you’ve been tortured so much already your soul is like a crumpled old receipt at the bottom of god’s purse

I think people would be less suicidal if they were allowed to talk about being suicidal without risk of being sent to the Torture Dungeon

you're not "gay" you're just addicted to the oxytocin and dopamine rush from sucking penis