Random fact vending machine

when you’re telling someone that you were on the wikipedia page for defunct US retail outlets and they’re like “why” and you suddenly realize that this is not someone you can successfully communicate with

The 'ingredients you can pronounce means it's healthy' line implies a world in which the kind of nutrition a person requires scales with their biology education and grasp of phonics. Which isn't true, of course, but sure would imply some interesting worldbuilding if it were

"Potassium cyanide. Arsenic trioxide. Polonium 210. Tetrachlorodibenzodioxin," I say, smugly and with full confidence, before downing the glass of wine my political rival insisted on pouring for me. Seconds later, she watches with a smirk as I collapse writhing to the ground, in the knowledge that I never could hit that "R" in "pinot noir" quite right

I consider myself a real hater but sometimes you really do go too far with haterism. once I had to break mutuals with someone bc they hated the entire art form of poetry and the final straw was when they started hateposting about soup. The food

I’m actually always thinking of that “maybe I won’t die cause I’m special” tweet

Ice beam is low-key a sauceless "standard" move for its type

yes but it goes foowaaaa ting ting ting ting ting ting and i really like that part

Fuck you're right post cancelled

phenomenal, ty

i think its fun when people use the trope of vampires thinking that werewolves smell like shit but its especially funny to me when they say a werewolf smells like 'wet dog' . like specifically WET dog? not dry dog? something about werewolves makes them smell damper than any normal dog even if theyre dry as a bone? fascinating implications. wet werewolf vs creepy vampire. much to consider.

Take my hand Let’s lower the birth rate together

I remember walking down the street and seeing a sign protesting George W. Bush’s war on Iraq, so I think that.