misandrist puppygirl

not a caller not a texter but a secret third thing

don’t contact me. ever

You used to log onto the internet and find out it was peanut butter jelly time. Not any more.

it is just obvious to me that if you opened your eyes for even one second you would realize that Big Sweat invented the idea of going outside in the summer to make you produce more sweat

forever thinking about that girl at my uni orientation who, after being told to pour out her water bottle before entering an event, looked at me and said "they tell us to stay hydrated and then make us pour out our water, this is like totally kafkaesque" and then poured out what was very obviously an entire water bottle full of whiskey. hope she's doing well.

has anyone noticed recently that it's expensive

times like these really make you appreciate pouring river water in your socks

no matter how normalised it gets I will die on the hill that it is rude to record strangers in public without their consent