Shigaraki doesn’t do outsiders or new people unless it’s an absolutely pivotal part of his plan to dismantle hero society, so if you’re his you’ve always been his. Whether that be because you were another of All For One’s protégés or someone he met before he knew what it truly meant to be a villain, you were always there. And he was drawn to you by sheer human instinct. There was no plan or ulterior motive and in hindsight it almost annoys him.
You’re a constant in the every evolving line up of the League. Yes, Kurogiri is also kept around, but it’s because Shigaraki’s plan necessitates a constant and near instantaneous mode of transportation. He has yet to find a place for you to fit perfectly into his grand scheme, but he’s too selfish to do away with you as he has with so many others. With a Quirk like his it wouldn’t be hard to make you disappear almost without a trace.
Because of his inability to get rid of you, Shigaraki has taken to referring to you as his Player 2 which had seemed like an odd video game reference at first, until you realized it was his attempt at giving you a meaningful pet name that wasn’t a nuisance to say in front of others. Shigaraki denies its meaning as a term of endearment, stating that it only makes sense as he’s Player 1 and you’re the only member of the League–honorary or not–that comes close to his rank.
He finds you devotion to him to be something meant to be tested. You can say you trust him wholeheartedly until your voice is gone and he’ll still do things in an attempt to provoke the so-called truth out of you. He knows having a pretty face is something of value in society and has developed a habit of holding your face in his hands, pointer fingers only a hair’s breadth away from your skin. He wants to mutilate you to the point that you understand he could hurt you if he wanted to. Never once does he seem to factor in the fact that once he’s touched you nothing short of cutting off your head will stop his Quirk’s effect, so you’d die either way.
It’s probably because he doesn’t actually want to hurt you. Shigaraki is big on shock and awe campaigns to assert his dominance. Like the first attack at the USJ building when he first unveiled his League using expendable lackeys. He didn’t put all his eggs in one basket for a reason. Probably the same reason he’s managed to keep such good control over his own erratic Quirk even though you’re always in close proximity; it isn’t a part of his plan.
Planning is important to Shigaraki and if just one thing is misaligned in execution, then everything goes sideways. Even if it was only a minor hiccup that barely stalled the situation, Shigaraki will become manic in his obsession over the minuscule error, misconstruing everything in his mind until it seems like everything has gone south at the smallest of inconveniences. Usually he scratches at his neck to soothe himself, as the small burst of pain help him focus, but if you cover the already irritated areas with your hands he always regained enough focus to not turn them to dust.
Your relationship is more instinctually driven than a normal couple’s would be simply because you’re not a normal couple. A life in relative isolation with only media to base your perceptions off of has led to both of you acting as archetypes of certain partners. With Shigaraki being the typical cynical realist that’s in control at all times, except when it comes to their significant other. Because while he rarely speaks to you, he’s constantly in your vicinity; sitting next to you, shoulders touching, sometimes even leaning his head against you if he’s in a particularly vulnerable mood, but only if you’re already asleep.
Shigaraki is a touched starved man and often gets frustrated when he’s reminded that he can’t touch you. It usually results in more than a few things being disintegrated while you sleep peacefully, unaware that your lover just wants to hold you. Kurogiri has witnessed more than one of his boss’ fits of rage and went out of his way to buy special, two-fingered gloves meant for graphic tablets.
The first time he touched you, the two of you were completely alone. He hadn’t wanted anyone to witness what he might do, whether or not the gloves were successful in protecting you. His foresight was well-worth it because Shigaraki began to cry the moment his hand touched yours, he didn’t notice until you wiped his tears away and promised that you were okay. He hadn’t hurt you.
Though Shigaraki isn’t talkative outside of absolute necessity–at least in public because he doesn’t enjoy socializing with his lemmings, especially the Stain followers–he makes an effort to show you that he cares for you in the best way his stunted emotions allows him to. What may seem like a simple gesture to others means the world to the two of you; like pausing a movie when you could’ve easily let it play or him allowing you to play as Player 1, however rarely.
Because Shigaraki has a naturally low sex drive intimate moments between the two of you are usually smaller instances of skinship. Shigaraki has a newfound fixation with your hands now that he can touch you and often presses them to his face. Not exactly in the same place as Father, but having you touch him is soothing when he’s in a sour mood.
Shigaraki will never tell you he loves you even if you say it every once in a while. Part of it is due to maintaining his superiority complex and in part due to the fact that he’s not even sure if he loves you. There’s no denying that there’s an emotional connection between the two of you, but Shigaraki isn’t quite sure which feelings are classified as love. He’ll accept your words, but isn’t in any position to return them. At least, not yet.
areudirty
izzy806
stormborns
kianamaiart
tangentwithtanner
snowghoul
origamiaround
janainaart
