hiddles-ismy-assbutt

Queen shit

gen z: *blurry stock photo of lemons with the caption “lemn”*

yup.

I have never heard a parrot with a Scottish accent

I’m losing my fucking mind.

oh my god

my favorite part is that the guys just go along with it in spite of confusion/misgivings because they don’t want to miss out on stickers.

My favorite post

this video legit never fails to make me laugh and i’ve seen it god knows how many times

pour one out for yahoo answers

can not believe that a 70 year old senator actually uttered the phrase “ignorant slut” about bernie sanders on the senate floor.

that is fucking IMPECCABLE script.

It’s so pretty and so rude and I love it.

What’s the point of learning cursive if you don’t use it to write curse words honestly

I knew someone with a name like cuntsparkle would have good taste in bees and I was not disappointed.

do you think hannibal would murder me if he watched me delicately place chips inside a sandwich and then smash it slowly before eating it

he’d either kill me or ask me why i prefer my sandwiches with chips and i’d shrug and say “i like the crunch”. which would prompt him to say something along the lines of “we often crave a taste more primitive, the crunching between our teeth used to be birthed from the snapping of bones from a fresh kill. is that what you are savoring for? tell me helena, do you hunger for brutality?”

There’s this ask reddit post about your weirdest childhood and the story is about this guy who was playing in the woods by a creek with his friend when a guy in full late 1800s formal clothing including a top hat just walked out of the forest, said “Hello boys!” and kept walking. This is why I want historical clothing so badly. The ultimate prank.

give someone something to think about for the rest of their life

be the ghost encounter YOU want to see in this world

the poetic cinema in the movie Holes when it shows Kate Barlow in the schoolhouse and drops of water are falling on the book she’s reading and you think the roof is leaking again even though Sam fixed it but then it shows that it’s actually because she’s crying and then Sam walks in and looks at her tear stained face with the softest expression and says, “i can fix that.”

The subplot of Holes was hands down the greatest love story of our generation

Had me shook as a kid