Absolutely abhorrent.

ok no actually I do want to know your car's name if it has a name, and why. bikes and other vehicles also welcome! I had a bike named Mel after Mel Bush from Doctor Who, because it was red. I fell off and regenerated broke my arm

Nature really went off with sperm whales. A 70-ton predator with teeth the size of a banana but it only eats squishy prey that it doesn’t even chew, it just schlorps them down whole like a vacuum cleaner. Big giant fat head full of goop. Tiniest fins in the world. Strong enough to smash a ship to pieces and smart enough to figure out how to do so but its first line of defense is just to shit everywhere. Possibly the most complex language in the animal kingdom and it creates sounds by blowing air through its internal right nostril (it uses the left one to breathe) into its giant fat head. It’s the loudest animal on the planet and might have the capability to create a beam of sound so loud it can shake your organs apart but they don’t seem to use that to hunt or fight. They’re highly flammable. We used them to make candles.

at the club fucked up on kerrygold pure irish butter

astonishing how good it can feel to get some chores done sometimes. you’ll be sitting there like damn i am some type of horrid little smeagol like creature who should be crushed to death. but then you do some laundry and you’re like wrow. im actually gods most fuckable soldier.

a 12 pack of dr pepper is like a monkeys paw but instead of 3 wishes you get 12 and you can only wish for a can of dr pepper

evil Winnie the Pooh: I could go for a few smackerels of blood right now

Damn. Fine. I’m on Firefox now. Are you happy?

Oh shit, y’all weren’t kidding. This is a lot better, damn.