schwul macht cool

just once i'd like to go on a date without joe biden

just once i'd like to go on a date without joe biden

Shapeshifter who gets horribly grotesque and mutilated when flustered

for some more context: when i saw this irl, it was explained to me that all the shards of glass used here were remnants from the church's windows before ww2 when most of cologne's central city was obliterated

i hate when people are like “i really understand what it’s like to be Prey… to look up into the jaws of a predator and know it’s my purpose to be Consumed…” like bitch no, prey runs away, you’re some other shit

i know what its like to be Burger 🍔....

I once tried to repair an old radio - It caught fire because I suck at soldering, so... probably debunked point 4 with that, but otherwise yeah pretty much 🤣

I think the part where you went wrong was rule #1. Soldering is a learnable skill, should have done more research on how to do it right.

kids these days don’t learn soldering at school

Well they don't teach sucking dick either, but if you want to have skills they didn't teach at school, you're gonna have to figure out how to teach yourself.

speaking of america’s favorite fruit (not optional) i love applerankings.com so fucking much. absolute necessity for any real Appleheads out there

My new favorite hobby is weaponizing my Mom Friend status against my male coworkers, of which there are a surplus because I am A Woman in The Trades. It's hilarious to me. I have been the Mom Friend my entire life and working construction means I've expanded my territory from Mom Friend to Site Mom by virtue of always knowing where things are and also having pain meds and general life advice if you need any. Do you know what happens when you are so aggressively mom-shaped despite not even being 30? All the young guys I work with have subconsciously put me in the mom category of their brains. Do you know what that means? I live and work in the American South. These guys have been raised both socially and culturally to Respect All Mom Figures and I've snuck myself into that classification like a cuckoo in the nest. Like, listen, I can take it and dish it out with the best of them and I'm "one of the guys" 97% of the time, but I have my limits. If they're being dicks to each other and I'm tired of it all I gotta do is look really disapproving and scold them with some classic Mom-isms and it will stop them dead in their tracks. It's a total short circuit of their brains. Not one of these guys has withstood my telling them "manners are free and it costs nothing to be kind." Sometimes I just give them a look and say "Really?" in that tone of voice all moms use when they're completely fed up with you and it makes them straighten up in 10 seconds flat, guaranteed. It's psychological warfare of the highest order. One time I jokingly pulled out a "I'm so disappointed in you" after hearing this barely 18 year old tell some story about being obnoxious in an online game voice chat and it was very obviously a joke but somehow it rattled him so much AT WORK that he later told me he stopped doing it. It's a perfect storm of factors and literally all of them are in my favor. Should I care more about not enforcing gender stereotypes, especially in such a male-dominated field? Probably, but let's be real, the power has completely gone to my head.

citing wikipedia is harsh but citing khan academy is going for the fucking jugular

you cant even begin poems with "i will sodomise and facef uck you" anymore. because of woke .

also according to michael collins when the three of them were discussing what neil armstrong should say when he first stepped on the moon, collins suggested armstrong say “Oh, my God, what is that thing?”  and then scream and cut out his mic.

Everyone forgets Michael Collins and it’s fucking tragic.

Holy shit THEY STOLE THE CROWN JEWELS

THEY ESCAPED ON A SCOOTER