fool I am, fool I was, fool I will be

Question to the hoes out here this weekend keeping the party alive and sexy as fuck: Are you doing ok? You can always feel good with me

I used to be monotheistic. Until the great worm that I worship got cut in half

the irredeemable pervert is generally well regarded among their friends for their insightful thoughts and all around pleasant demeanour

when i was a kid i found a pen that had a woman on it that if you turned it upside down her clothes would come off. i hid it in my room and in brave moments i would flip it over and over and over. one day i got so ashamed that i brought it to a field and buried it

the lighthouse on fire at night crudely retains its functionality by chance. not for too long though

what if after job interview you catch a glimpse of the person’s notepad & see they wrote “things have learnt to walk that ought to crawl”

white boy it's okay if you want to be white girl

the biggest spider in north america just sent you a friend request on steam