this winter hasn’t been so rough

Theo Decker was like “it’s gay to say goodbye to people I genuinely care about” and then went and fucked a guy.

A man called Cornelius Hickey told me this expedition was a year in Polar Sea and then out the other side. He told me the ships planned to stop at the Sandwich Islands and the crew was going to dry out in the sun. "That's the other side of the world," I thought. "A year's nothing." So I d- where’s my vape? Has anyone seen my vape? Wait are you sitting on it? Are you sure? I can’t find it can you just stand up real quick?

Terror Heritage Post

You gotta be really publicly passionate about things if you want your friends to text you. Bc people will forget to text you because they’re human. But if you’re really openly the friend who loves identifying ants your friends will think of you when they see ants. And they’ll text you “what ant is this [blurry photo]”. And then they’ll ask you how you’ve been and we should get coffee sometime. But if they don’t know what you love they’ll never know what you like

And then when the ant convention is in town they’ll be like dude… we should go to the ant convention. But they would never think to go if they didn’t know u loved ants

And sometimes you need to ask them to go to the ant convention. But you Will not get anywhere hiding your passions

asked one of my coworkers how she's doing today and she goes "could be better, could be worse," and another coworker nearby who was eavesdropping chimes in with "could be a lil bit o' alligator curse!" i have no idea what he meant by that but i do know that it has been immediately added to the lexicon.

"you can jack off you can eat grapes all else banned" is kind of the post of the summer because literally wtf else are you supposed to do once it’s 30°C outside

you could be my irish spring

you will never get away from the smell of the soap that cleans you

you could be my silent spring

you will never get away from the ooze of the chemicals that spray you