Being trans

Having different aesthetic preference than other people isn’t weird, no. I know a lot of maverique people dislike their pride flag, for example. (Though personally I really like it!)

And you are allowed to create a new pride flag design if you want. Even if you’re the only one who ends up using it. But it is worth noting that a lot of identities and multiple pride flags designs already, thought there is usually just one or two that become popular.

I was upset at the lack of a ___friend term that fit right for me so I made a list of existing ones and coined new ones to try and sort out my options.

From This List

Girlboyfiend - Androgynous

Boyfirlfriend - Androgynous

Bothfriend - Androgynous

Birlfriend - Androgynous, mix of boy and girl

Genderfriend - Neutral

Datefriend - Neutral

Feyfriend - Neutral

Personfriend - Neutral

Enbyfriend - Neutral

(Name)friend - Dependent on Insert (Examples: Renfriend, Lexfriend, Samfriend)

From Things I’ve Seen Before

Goyfriend - Androgynous, mix of girl and boy (Note: could be taken as the Jewish definition of “goy”)

Joyfriend - Neutral

(Pronoun)friend - Dependent on insert (Examples: theyfriend, faefriend, xeyfriend)

(Gender)friend - Dependent on insert (Examples - Demiboyfriend, Xirlfriend, Bigenderfriend)

From My Brain

Baefriend - Neutral, based on “baby” or “bae”

Boofriend - Neutral/Xenic, based on the term “beau” (Note: could be taken to mean the ghost “boo”)

Enfriend - Neutral, based on “enby”

Beefriend - Neutral/Xenic, based on “enby” (Note: could be taken as meaning bees)

Firlfriend - Neutral/Fem, mix of “female” and “girl”

Moyfriend - Neutral/Masc, mix of “male” and “boy”

Lovefriend - Neutral

Daefriend - Neutral/Xenic, based on “demon” or “daemon”

Faefriend - Neutral/Xenic, based on the fae (Note: sounds like feyfriend)

(Noun)friend - Dependent on Insert, infinite possibilities basically. Have fun with words, language is fake!

After that, it will take place annually during the week surrounding July 14th, International Nonbinary People's Day.

We need more non-binary memes in the world

Masculine Makeup Tutorial!

I finally got around to doing an updated masculine makeup tutorial! If you’d like to know a little more about my process for contouring my face and creating a beard when doing masculine characters, this is a super in-depth walk through of what I do. 

My dear kid, 

If you get your period and it makes you feel dysphoric, here are some things that could possibly help: 

- If you hate having to buy and look at pink packages, look out for those in more neutral colors. If no brands with neutral packaging are available in the stores you usually shop in, you might want to take them out of their packages at home and store them in a black box or similar. 

- If the language surrounding periods makes you uncomfortable, a sense of humor might be your best option. Some guys call it their “shark week” or “MENstruation”. 

- If you’re out to someone (and they’re supportive). you could try to ask them to use more gender-neutral language, too, for example to avoid saying “Girls on their period” and rather say “People on their period”. 

- Consider using menstrual cups. Some boys say they’re more comfortable to wear (especially when you wear boxers) and need to be changed less often/make less of a mess. 

- If you always use one option (for example, you always use tampons), it may be a good idea to experiment with other options to see which you feel most comfortable with. 

-  Write down positive affirmations/gender validation for yourself to read when things get hard. 

- To use birth control or not? There’s no golden rule here. Some things to consider*: 

~It can make periods lighter and/or shorter. ~ It can lessen some period symptoms, such as cramps. ~In some people, it can cause or increase depression or anxiety.

* Regardless of your decision: if you have vaginal sex with a partner who has a penis, use condoms to avoid pregnancy and STDs (like HIV) 

- Heat can help a lot with cramps: Hot showers, hot baths. hot pads or a hot water bottle. 

- You don’t have to get painkillers specifically designed for cramps if buying them makes you uncomfortable. General painkillers work just as well for most people. 

With all my love, 

I’m sorry you’re in that situation. And I wish there was something else I could recommend to you that could help you prevent your body from changing in a way that is wrong for you. But I can’t.

It’s an awful thing, it can be a traumatic thing, to go through puberty when it’s not going in the direction you want it to. I’ve been through that - I only came out and started medically transitioning when I was in my 20s.

But hopefully that can be some kind of comfort to you, too. That there *are* a lot of trans people who don’t start medically transitioning until they’ve finished their first puberty, and the changes we get from HRT and surgeries are still remarkable.

Just a little thing that’s been stewing in the back of my mind that I needed to get out, maybe someone else will find it useful as an explanation, idk.

[panel 1: “some people visualize gender as a spectrum of colour, but that analogy has never felt quite right to me” [center image: a colour wheel]]

[panel 2: “To me, gender feels more like the orbit of objects in space. most people are planets and asteroids orbiting a single star. some people are closer to the center than others, but they all orbit the same objects.” [center image: a drawing of 2 yellow suns, each with 3 objects orbiting them. on one side the objects are shades of blue, the other has shades if pink]]

[panel 3: “but some people have different paths. maybe they circle multiple stars. maybe they pass close by, but never truly orbit.” [center image: the image from panel 2, but with a couple of extra paths added in purple as described in the panel text]]

The first one (Refuge Restrooms) shows you where the gender neutral bathrooms are in your area and you can add any ones that you find too.

It also can tell you where to find them. Here is a random example:

The 2nd app (Voice tools) is an app that can help you with your voice. It shows you what gender your voice sounds like when you speak, so it can be useful to help train it. If you look up 'voice training trans' it should be the first thing to pop up.

Here's a picture of it:

found these screenshots and realized i forgot to ever post them lmao oops

transcript: two tweets from twitter user Sascha🐀 commissions open @/confusedophan

“the whole point of being nonbinary is using they pronouns!” “the whole point of being nonbinary is to be androgynous!” you fools. the “whole point” of being nonbinary is to be yourself, a person that can’t be put in binary boxes. why do you want to push people into a third box??

So back in the day there was ball culture. Ball culture was the precursor to modern drag. Without ball culture, there is no drag. That’s the first thing you need to know.

So back in those days, “trans” wasn’t a word we really had yet in American english. “Transgender” hadn’t really been coined yet, even “transsexual” with all its problematic connotations barely existed outside of extremely clinical environments. But if you go back and read things actually written and said by the people who were in that early scene, they were primarily what we’d call “trans” today. And primarily people of color. For most of US history after colonialism happened, being trans and/or GNC has been dangerous, and for people of color extremely dangerous. Ball culture was a place for people of color with non-birth-assigned or variant gender expression to be themselves in a way that was both celebrated, and safe.

Things have changed, though, and not for the better. Over time, its become less celebration, and more spectacle. Less safe space, and more stage performance. There was always a stage, a show about it, but the ball culture was again about CELEBRATING the gender variant and non-conforming. Modern drag has become a parody, a point-and-gawk, the audience is primarily cis and white, and often even straight. 

Rather than people who are often not allowed to be themselves to be more themselves, modern drag has become about people becoming someone they’re not, stage personnas that are taken up for a show and then set aside after, by people who will then turn and mock and show bigotry towards the very people who were once a part of and represented by it. This has become deeply ingrained in modern drag, to the point that if a drag performer comes out as trans, scenes frequently turn on them. They’re told that they’re “taking it too far”, rather than revealing more of who they are. They’re often looked down on and even outright shunned from drag scenes if they dare come out as trans.

RuPaul and his TV show have only aided this selling out of the culture that was to the masses at the cost of who drag once existed to serve. Games that invite contestants to guess if someone is “female or (anti-trans slur)” are a prime example of this. It’s a little less funny when you realize bigots play that game all the time, only when they spot a trans woman they beat or even kill us. And RuPaul isn’t dumb. He’s been around long enough to know exactly what he’s doing, but he’s too busy making his TV show money to care. When people in the trans community have tried to reach out to him, he’s talked down to us, told us that we’re too young to know better. I’ve been around long enough and studied my history enough to know that HE SHOULD KNOW BETTER. He uses anti-trans slurs in a show with a primarily cis and surprisingly straight-heavy demographic. He uses his fame to continue to defame trans women, and rather than listen, he demeans further. His show has recently even banned trans women completely. Like reflect on how far that is, how much of a theft of culture that represents. 

Nonbin Flag, with and without nonbinary symbol I’m coining an alt term for enby. Since some nonbinary people feel it sounds too cutesy. But I kind of like the idea of nonbinary nouns. The more, the better.

Color Meanings

White: Visibility and Identity / Multiple or All Genders

Yellow: Relationship With Oneself / Gender Outside Of the Binary

Orange: Joy In Being Yourself / Xenogender

Green: Stability / Nonbinary Genders Connected to the Binary

Purple: Wisdom / Mix of Manhood & Womanhood or Femininity & Masculinity

Sometime people choose to go on a low dose of testosterone treatment. It can be for a variety of reasons, for example wanting slower changes so they’re easier to adapt to, or only wanting some smaller changes.

There’s unfortunately no way to pick and choose which changes from testo that you want to have, but going with a lower dose often allows you to stop easier when/if you notice a change you don’t like.

I’ve tried to gather a few resources and people’s personal experience about being on low dose testosterone HRT in this post, but I also recommend checking out my HRT Masterpost that I made before!

And of course, if someone has any more info about this, please feel welcome to add to this post <3

Text based resources:

T Update: Low Dose Testosterone, and Starting and Stopping

Why take low dose T

Can you take really small doses of testosterone?

Today marks 6 months on low-dose testosterone. AMA.

Low dose T vs other doses?

Gendercube’s “low dose” tag

Can you take testosterone and not end up all manly?

Experiences On Low Dose Testosterone

Video based resources/vlogs:

Celeste M’s youtube channel

Nonbinary transition on low dose testosterone

6 Months on Low Dose Testosterone Cream. (Non-Binary)

One year on low dose testosterone

Four months on testosterone! Low dose non binary transition update

NB Transition: Changes on Low-Dose Testosterone

8 Months on [Low Dose] T//Non-Binary(ish)

Nonbinary transition: final voice update

Previous Masterposts:

Transmasc Presentation

Transfem Presentation

HRT Masterpost

Top Surgery Masterpost

Breast Augmentation Masterpost

Coming Out Masterpost

Gender Questioning Masterpost

Masterpost for Trans Allies

Choosing a New Name for Yourself Masterpost

Self Care Masterpost

Writing Trans Characters Masterpost

Transgender Pregnancy & Fertility Masterpost

Chest Binding Masterpost

Androgynous Presentation Tips

Transmasc Lower Surgery Masterpost

Get it from

@sage-derby Yes!!!

Here’s a rundown of their general policy, from literally the first article I clicked on just now:

As you might be getting from that, they’re pretty intersex inclusive, too. Here’s a sample of something that’s a little more directly about sex-specific stuff in case you’re thinking “well but they said that was just about pleasure tho”:

They have a lot of sections on their site, but number two is Gender:

“That’s probably just like hetero gender dynamics stuff tho...” Nay nay! Here’s a few of the articles from the first page of their “Gender” section: