#explanation

Explanation part 1

(as told by someone who hasn't actually watched in a while who's memory is shoddy at best)

okay introducing Tom Paris

began the series as a fuckboy swagger cool guy, but he's written by the kind of people who like star trek, so he's really into like. billiards and classic cars

They were all, what do cool people like? This stuff, right??

life is tough because his dad is an admiral and he can never measure up and he was like "fuck you, dad" and joined the rebels but got rumbled like 3 weeks in and put in a work prison until he was snagged to fly this test ship

this is all backstory, btw

but it does kind of set up the premise of the episode - they've been all alone in the delta quadrant for over 2 years, wondering how to get home, they've designed a few new shuttles, and Tom gets this idea - he bets he can Break the Warp 10 barrier

this is impossible, people say - 9.9 is as fast as you can go. 10 would be like, what, instant transport?

but he becomes obsessed with this idea (as obsessed as you can get in an episodic format where they never revisit anything, anyway, but people talk about how he hasn't been sleeping or anything). He bets he can do it

and you know what? HE DOES

HISTORY IS MADE

if they can modify the entire ship to accommodate, they could be home instantly instead of in 70+ years!!

except...there are side effects

suddenly he's allergic to water

his body stops processing oxygen

his cells start degrading

He seems fine

he becomes delirious and rambles (and at one point is like PEPPERONI PIZZA what I WOULDN'T GIVE so we're probably eating pizza tonight)

he's like look. can you at least tell my dad - I did it? I accomplished something?

and then he DIES

but then...during the night? his body starts moving again

Again, seems totally fine

he has two hearts

he's not devolving! he's EVOLVING, THIS IS THE NEXT STEP IN EVOLUTION BABY (he insists)

Ah, yes, the phase in the life cycle that comes after egg, infant, child, adult, and then - naturally - Timelord

somewhere around here his tongue falls out?

and here's the thing, up until now I maintain it has been a good, maybe even great Star Trek episode

buuuuuuuut the last ten minutes get craycray

he looks like this

he can't talk

No real loss, surely

he kidnaps the captain

now it's like a freaking king kong monster movie or something?

Imagining holding her in his hands while he climbs the empire state building

by the time the crew finds them, a bit later?

(and by a bit I mean I think it's a couple months)

She's also Timelord Toad? Oh, yup, of course, because LOVE

oh AND

because LOVE

Babies?!?

YUP

the first officer is like "I don't know how I'm going to enter this into the log"

cut to the last two minutes where we're back in medbay, the captain and tom paris are fine, the doctor magically synthesized something to fix them, they left the lizard babies on the planet and they're never ever mentioned again

that episode won an emmy, by the way

(for makeup, but still)

Wait THE FUCK

YUP

They brought them BACK And abandoned their CHILDREN

YUP

That was their garden of eden!!! They were living the dream!! Oh my gods they fell in love and had a family and lived as an entirely new phase of creation and then just had to COME BACK AND BE THEMSELVES

extra fun dynamics here - Tom Paris was originally written as like, playboy arm candy implied fuck buddy for the captain? but then they cast a first officer that looks at her like this

and their chemistry was off the charts, so the tom paris thing was abandoned

Because, absolutely. Whatever this is. That's correct.

[I then explained the entire episode of Resolutions]

Oh that Might actually make me cry

that stranded episode hasn't happened yet, but the fans like to joke that the first officer left the babies on the planet out of jealousy

also there's a bit at the end where Tom is like. uh. sorry about that captain. I don't really remember what happened but uh. sorry about coming on to you and she's like "psh we don't remember. how do you know I wasn't the one who came on to YOU"

Well THAT'S an abuse of power, but. Good for her.

but anyway it's the anniversary of the threshold episode!

so tumblr is having a holiday about it

Nothing more sacred, truly

Since I’ve posted this elsewhere to better explain the mechanics for those that didn’t fully understand the tutorial I posted, I thought I’d post here as well. I also go over the ear mechanics on this.

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

-- Mark Twain