My Blog Thingy

Dude in that last pic has got some moves

*dancing queen by ABBA plays in the distance while I bleed out on the bathroom floor from 17 stab wounds*

People who actively love one color are actually adorable. That person who buys bright yellow shirts all the time because she loves yellow? The person who has a whole blog just for pink items? Like it's so adorable.

Oh hell yeah this includes folks who like black. Go off you funky little goths.

john mulaney talking about how much he loves his wife and roasting other male comedians that just talk shit on their wives is why The Gays like him so much because he’s what Straight Culture should be

he literally called her a bitch so let’s raise the standards ladies and gentlemen

the bar is at the earth’s core 

This is the first I heard of this guy and I think this is the most dramatically I’ve seen anyone’s words taken out of context in quite a while

Plus, if you compare his recent versus early shows, you can watch him come to awareness about the toxic masculinity and other issues inherent in old-school standup and grow as a comedian into someone much funnier at the same time. Kudos.

First one to answer right gets a free shitty drawing

This is too much power but I’ll go with a Pikachu trying to murder Winnie the Pooh, and thank you.

FUCK

Op, you said SHITTILY

I love the weirdly specific rules that go with answering a riddle. Like, “I Have Two Eyes But I Cannot See: What Am I?” And the answer’s supposed to be the word ‘iridescent’ because ‘two *i*’s’ right, but like. Why can’t the answer be like… A guy with really bad cataracts. Someone wearing a blindfold. My uncle’s dog. Like why does it gotta be deep

“I have a face but no eyes lips or nose, what am I?” Slenderman. Next

I think you have missed the meaning of the riddles

Listen. Listen if I’m trapped between a wall of sentient fire and a goblin mage who will only reveal the one true path across the forbidden glade if I answer his riddles three, I’m not going to waste time struggling for the answer with the deepest life lesson. I’m gonna pick an answer that fits the criteria and I’m gonna stick with it. “A poor man has it and a rich man needs it” it’s a flashlight. They’re in a cave. The poor man is a tour guide. Next Question before my ass burns off, Por Favour

This is the real way how ravenclaws get into their rooms

The secret to the ravenclaw riddles is that you don’t actually need to know “the answer”, you just need to be able to defend the answer you give.

that’s the definition of being an English major

The result of the Ravenclaw common room door is a House full of students who can make up bullshit on the spot and defend it to the death using only three braincells and a complete absence of fucks, and the resulting agony this produces in the teachers is PRECISELY what Rowena Ravenclaw wanted.

What would you do if you were scrolling through recommended tumblr posts and one was from someone you don't know and it was just a picture of your dad captioned "fucking hate this guy" and it had hundreds of notes

I don't love tiktok but it's vital non Americans watch

florida culture is having “hurricane parties” which is where you and all your friends have a sleepover at the sturdiest house among the group and pray the power doesn’t go out during your group netflix binge. there’s usually a lot of snacks involved so it’s nice to see walmart making special cakes for the occasion

ppl make fun of creepypasta titles being too descriptive like “I went hiking with my class, it didnt end well” or “something’s living in my grandma’s basement” or “I’m never taking a job on craigslist again” but for someone with zero attention span, descriptive titles like that are a hell of a lot more eye catching and attention grabbing than some poetic one or two word title that doesnt even hint at what the story is about

YES IT DOES WHAT HAVE YOU DOnE

I beg all of you to check out Unsettlingstories.com all of the titles and named this way and I love them all