🎶

OCD is never about liking being clean or organized. I’ve never met a person with OCD who actually likes to do their compulsions. We do them because we’re terrified of what will happen if we don’t. It’s not preference that makes us act, it’s this false sense of urgency and extreme panic.

sometimes i simply wish ppl would realize that while alters are a defining trait of CDDs that we are extremely traumatized people and have symptoms outside of the alters. you know. the trance states, the somatic symptoms like joint pain and stomachaches and headaches. the high comorbidity of eating disorders, of personality disorders, of psychogenic non-epileptic seizures. alters are something to deal with, sure. theyre stressful. its messy, with persecutors. its not all bad, with alters, either. sometimes its warm and good. but i wish people realized the hardship of these disorders rather than glorifying and aestheticizing what so many of us are going through.

"if you forgot then it obviously wasn't important to you" is an ableist thing to say and i'm tired of pretending it's not

I've forgotten *my own birthday* before. There are several years of my life just straight up missing. In the past I've forgotten silly little frivolous things like NAMES OF LOVED ONES or WHERE MY HOUSE IS. But obviously none of that was important. Fucking awful, ableist thing to say.

I feel like not enough people realize that people under enormous strain act really really fucking Weird

If someone is doing things that don't make Sense, try to understand that it is entirely possible that their brain is probably under an enormous weight and fracturing under the pressure. People who have been stabbed will sometimes talk a circle around the fact that they've been stabbed because stress and shock prevent you from recognizing the distress you are in and what you need to do to seek help for it. PTSD will do this also. You will find yourself repeatedly jamming a bag of frozen fruit into the same spot in the freezer where it doesn't fit and keeps falling, over and over and over, focused on nothing but that bag. You will decide that a beanbag chair is 10000% necessary to your life. You will lose your entire shit because you stubbed your toe on a table and that means the whole setup of your furniture is wrong. These are largely harmless examples. People under strain will also hurt themselves and others. Cornered animals bite. And it doesn't heal the bite to go "Hey, are you okay?" But it might get you to an animal that stops biting, so you can start to heal. And before you had an animal that bit, you probably had an animal that kept doing shit you didn't understand as stress signals

All of this and also, sometimes you just cannot control your reaction even if it’s harmful or mean. Which also doesn’t make it acceptable to treat people poorly, but it does tie into the give people a second or third chance and communicate before deciding they’re just terrible now

having ocd is so funny bc you’ll be like “oh my god what if i just imagined all my symptoms and i don’t actually have ocd and i’ve been lying to everyone this whole time” and it’s like, dawg. that is The Symptom.

DID sucks because in the morning you think "maybe I'm actually normal and I should stop overanalyzing my experiences and just enjoy life" and in the evening you get possessed by the ghost of yourself from 2018