.

Maybe gender’s a losing game for you, and like me, you’ll find greater happiness existing outside of it.

Maybe sometimes you are okay with stepping into something vaguely gendered — “none gender with left girl!” as one of my people once called it.

Maybe you still identify with what you once were, and still hold fond regards for aspects of it, but know you’re not that anymore, at least most of the time.

That’s allowed! You’re allowed to be “usually not anything!” Nonbinary, agender, genderfluid, Demi-gender!

Have you hung out with trans folks who assured you that, because you had Gender Feelings going on, you must therefore be “the opposite gender?” and presented no other options, and that felt uncomfortable and forced?

Hey me too! Turns out I was never a woman or a man, I was always some combination of like, 12 other things that’s neither of those!

You’re allowed to be trans and not a man or a woman. Our language lacks the nuance to perfectly capture what you are sometimes, so many of us just go with “nonbinary” as a handle label for “just not either of the presumed defaults.”

Don’t let the most toxic aspects of our community put you back in a box. You’re allowed to be whatever!!

It wasn't that long ago that banks and companies would refuse to serve gay people. People are going all the way up to the Supreme Court to enshrine the right not to serve LGBTQ people in their business. Rainbow capitalism showed which companies were safe to do business with and it pressured other companies to do the same.

Likewise, companies did and do try to discrominate against LGBTQ employees. Rainbow capitalism let employees be open about their identities and feel safe. The 50 year old gay man marching with Bank of America may have hidden his sexuality for decades because it wasn't safe to come out at work.

It helped set top down societal values and norms that LGBTQ people are a welcome part of society.

It pressured companies to adopt nondiscrimination policies and DEI policies.

It made companies donate to pride celebrations and LGBTQ causes.

with mixed success, it provided powerful and visible allies for political change, like the Respect for Marriage Act. Businesses pulled out of North Carolina and forced it to go back on a bathroom bill.

The drawdown of rainbow capitalism has real consequences. Pride celebrations losing corporate sponsorships means they are not able to hold those celebrations. DEI programs are being rolled back. Companies are buying less from queer owned businesses. Support for gay marriage is actually decreasing in polls.

Are these all cause and effect? No. Is it sometimes just a lagging indicator? Yeah. Are fair weather allies like big corps really not great? Yeah.