worm with problems

stop drinking beer with the deer and come have a cider with the spiderrrr

I like characters who are women and they suck and are bad people. Bonus points if she never really faces consequences.

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

Every time I go they put me in a chair and they say look into this machine there's a hot air balloon or a farmhouse in there and I do and I'm like you're right I see it and they're like yeah keep admiring that hot air balloon or farmhouse and I do and I'm like this shit's quaint as fuck and then do you know what happens next they attack me they jumpscare me with air directly into my eyeballs and i fall out the chair and they say sorryyyy but they're NOT they wanted this to happen they KNEW about the jumpscare well now I'm wise to it now I know better when I go in and they say look at this bodacious hot air balloon I'm like NO WAY DUDE that balloon wishes me harm have at thee and I attack them and push them on the ground and spit on them

Official ominous postcard

Please god it would be so funny

there is no downside to voting for Count Binface. its not taking away from other candidates bcos they aren't any and the more votes he gets the stupider Farage looks.

So what happens if Count Binface actually wins? Does he join Parliament? Does he have to take the bin off his face?

it pains me to say it but the more people talk shit about the women who wear those shorts/leggings with the weird butt seam that looks like it gives you a terminal wedgie, the more compelled I feel to take the women’s side

ohhhhhh my godddddddd you saw someone wearing really tight revealing pants in public? should we throw a party? should we invite goody proctor

and while we’re at it, I’m done worrying about cameltoe. I don’t have time to be pulling and tugging at my clothes all day. if you can see the outline of my pussy you should say thank you and go about your business

not everything is getting worse. at least you don't hear high hopes by panic at the disco every day anymore

Half the backlash to fat lib content essentially boils down to "I can't believe you're FORCING me to not be mean to you"