Mornings are for coffee and contemplation

I'm very nervous about my 401k. I'm afraid with the presidency we have it's going to go to nothing. Should I stop contributing? Should I not worry about it? I invest 10% but maybe it should be less? Should I pull it all out and invest in gold?? Please advise me I'm spiraling 😭 I hope ya'll have a great day when you read this though.

DEEP BREATHS, BABYCAKES.

Nobody knows what is going to happen with the stock market. Not even your nearly omnipotent auntie Bitches. So I will give you this advice with the understanding that we could all be wrong.

Don't put your money in gold. Don't pull your money out of the stock market. But you can stop contributing or lower your contribution right now if you need that money for other things (like paying off debt, which is always a good way to help your overall financial health, and buying groceries, which is always a good way to, uh... stay alive).

Personally, I am not changing my automated retirement fund contributions. I'm remaining steady and ignoring what the market is doing during this massive downturn. The reasons are complicated and require a lot of background understanding of how markets work. So I really really want you to read the articles below, where I explain what's happening and what you can do to protect yourself and your money.

But most importantly, remember this: INVESTING IS FOR THE LONG TERM. If you need that money in the next 5 years, don't put it in the stock market. The people who should be most worried right now are not young folks like most of y'all, but retired people and people on the verge of retirement. Ok here's your homework:

Wait... Did I Just Lose All My Money Investing in the Stock Market?

Investing Deathmatch: Investing in the Stock Market vs. Just… Not

Ask the Bitches: How Do I Prepare for a Recession?

The S&P 500 had a low of roughly ~$750 in 2008. It closed at over $5000 today, so even with the drop over the last few days, if they’d left their money in the market the way my mom and I begged them to, they’d have still *quintupled* their money.

The stock market is a long game. Unfortunately research suggests that most Americans do what so many are doing right now, and what both of my grandmothers did, which is lock in their losses by selling when the market is down. You haven’t lost the money unless you a) sell or b) every company you invested in goes bankrupt (which is why buying single stocks is risky and most people are better off with index funds)

A world in which the entire stock market goes to 0 and takes your 401k with it is a world so different from this one that I can’t even imagine what it would look like, but it would probably involve global nuclear war. It is, quite frankly, not worth the energy to worry about it. If it happens you will have bigger concerns.

Here's an explanation on timing the market vs. time IN the market:

Investing Deathmatch: Timing the Market vs. Time IN the Market 

Wait... Did I Just Lose All My Money Investing in the Stock Market? 

Other actors: "I want to branch out."

It's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true. The bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats. And we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies and everybody lives happily ever after.