Hey, I've Got Nothing To Do Today But Smile

I think all computers should have cd slots and all phones should have headphone ports send tumble

english major macklemore: i read your granddad’s prose

therapist macklemore: i hear your granddad’s woes

coffee enthusiast macklemore: i drink your granddad’s joes

body mod shop owner macklemore: i pierce your granddad’s nose

pizza chef macklemore: i knead your granddad’s doughs

television network executive macklemore: i make your granddad’s shows

wildlife rehabilitator macklemore: i feed your granddad’s crows

blanket maker macklemore: i knit your granddad’s throws

sir mackle the more, knight of the great kingdom of seattle: i slay your granddad’s foes

rapper macklemore: i spit your granddad’s flows

Being told what to do is great because then you know what to do

knowing how it tends to go with male authors and their wives it was probably marge who wrote the odyssey

women in GLAM (Galleries, Libraries, Archives and Museums)

need a hat that says I WONT SPEAK UNLESS SPOKEN TO AND ITS NOT BECAUSE IM DISINTERESTED AND DONT LIKE YOU I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND SOCIAL INTERACTION AS WELL AS MOST PEOPLE AND ASSUME BY DEFAULT MY PRESENCE IS UNWELCOME AS A PRECAUTIONARY MEASURE SO I KEEP TO MYSELF BUT I DONT MIND IF YOU INITIATE so i can wear it to work

I will never ever ever get over audience members gasping when Orpheus turns around. the intrinsic human trait to know how a story ends, and still be shocked and heartbroken when it ends that way. and then we sing it again. goooooooood.

We all have that one guy we hate doing night watch with on our ship

"I swear to god i just saw something" Ohhh my goddd

My son gave me a card that said, "You are the best mom ever" so I asked him if he collected empirical evidence to back up that claim. He admitted to doing no research at all; therefore it's purely anecdotal and cannot be trusted. I have hung this sentimental atrocity on my office wall.

my cherios spelled out my exact address this morning but like what the gudge ever i gobbled those honey nut freaks up and licked the bowl too

can you put that thing on a fucking leash *pointing angrily at a butterfly with beautiful iridescent wings thats not flying anywhere near you*