Hey, I've Got Nothing To Do Today But Smile

you dont have to be a parent to understand the horror of walking into a room to discover that the baby crawled out of his crib and onto that pottery wheel you forgot to turn off, and while the baby is spinning around and around, the dog is sitting there all calm, like a person, gently using his paws to fashion the babys soft cartilage head into something a little more modern.  it might be the classic tale of bad parenting, but lets see where the dog is going with this

This post is from 2013. It has less than 100 notes. Together we can revive this work of art that tragically ahead of its time. We’re ready for it now

my hottest take is that I truly think every person should get emotionally invested in at least one local sports team - any team, any sport; chose based on their colors or if you like high-scoring or low-scoring games or which player you think is hottest - and go to at least one (1) live game each year; and at that game you need to cheer and/or boo at the top of your lungs with everyone else, and thus microdose on the human instincts for 'us vs them' thinking, mob mentality, and bloodlust. Because if you don't accept these things in yourself and periodically indulge them in something petty like sports, you'll accidentally put them in politics, fandom shipping, etc. instead, which I think we can all agree is Worse.

personally if robin williams and nathan lane were my eccentric but loving gay dads i would simply love and cherish them and not be a homophobic little bitch. rip to val from the birdcage but i'm different.

[the most low energy you have ever seen me] we’re about to go crazy mode

forced caretaking as a trope i think is like cocaine to people who know they need to be taken care of but have mental blocks in the way like yeah please do gently force me into a state of vulnerability so my body learns it is a safe thing to feel around you

This has gotta be a hit with the girlies who have always wanted something terrible to happen to them just so people realize they're in more misery than their outward appearance lets on

*Looking at a gay couple* so which one of you is Colin Mochrie and which one is Ryan Styles

vampires are so full of shit. "oh the human race is beneath us, you're just livestock to us" I don't think you know what livestock is. do you feed us? care for us? protect us from predators? no. you just slink around dark alleys and ambush people. that's not what a higher being does. that's a bottom feeder. a parasite. karate punches your head off

She Would Say That. She would DO that.

If you feel like you look weird or ugly it's really vitally important that you look at yourself really really closely in the mirror and mess with your skin until it gets discolored or damaged and yeah

problematic sudoku solving skills gap

and for the lady, only the steeliest of dans