HOOPLAH

 But if you ask people who think about things, the answer is vague. Killing a hibernating bear would just feel… impolite? You can’t fucking shoot a man when he’s sleeping, that’s just fucking rude. It’s just not the right thing to do.

 Long before hunting laws were established in Finland, you couldn’t kill a sleeping bear, and what commands you is something older than law: tradition. Even at a time when hunting was a matter of life and death, and a bear fighting for its life is mainly a matter of death, you just didn’t kill a hibernating bear, you have to wake it up first. Hunters risked their lives, the lives of their brothers and everyone in the hunting party, who were friends, family and men that they loved, to give the bear a fighting chance.

 In the modern time, the hunting season of bears is in the summer, for the warmest summer months. There are many reasons for why they are allowed to tread safely in autumn and to sleep in peace through the cold months, almost all of which are rational and scientific, and do not touch the old traditions.

 Old faith says a living thing has many souls - henki, luonto, itse. Plants only have one - the one that wills them to grow. Animals have two, both the spark of life and nature that enables them to act. A human being also has the third, one that makes them a person, personality, itse, literally “self”. But the soul that travels in your dreams is not the soul that defines a human - animals have that one as well. When your dog runs in her sleep, her soul is elsewhere, where a dog is needed.

I personally hate any kind morality thought policing. I'm not Catholic or religious and I do not feel guilty over my thoughts. You are not an inherently evil person because you saw two athletes in an interview and went "Hmmm...... what if...." The Feds are not going to come banging down your door because you wrote about one band member dicking down the other and sent it to your friend.

Wondering about other people's lives is very human. Being nosy about their personal lives is very normal. People have been writing fiction about other people's lives since the dawn of time. Some people even manage to write New York Times Bestselling Books that are "historical fiction" or "alternate reality." It does not make you inherently bad to be curious about the details of someone's personal life. That's being human. Being nosy is kind of fun.

The problem, however, comes with the ways in which people engage with it, and involve the real people in this. Harassing an musician's real girlfriend because it doesn't fit into the RPF ship. Showing up at real sporting events holding signs about how certain teammates should kiss. Trying to get actors to sign art of them fucking their coworker. Flooding social media with comments using the celebrity's full name and speculation. There's a line, there's a fourth wall, and there's fandom etiquette.

I hate the question of "Is RPF ethical" because it feels like morality thought policing. Post your fics on locked accounts, censor someone's name when you tweet about it, blow up your groupchat with hundreds of "DID YOU SEE THE WAY THEY LOOKED AT EACH OTHER??" texts. It's not inherently evil to wonder what other people are doing when they're out of the spotlight. Kill the cop in your mind.

Except, sometimes, between all the hockey videos Shane gets on the rare occasions Ilya sees him scrolling through Instagram, he'll get a video of otters. And to Ilya's surprise, Shane almost always sits through the whole thing.

This seems so out of left-field that Ilya ends up texting Yuna about it. He'd ask Shane about it, but he's scared that he'll get embarrassed and stop watching them when Ilya's around. Yuna immediately texts back like, "Oh yeah, Shane loves otters. Always has. He hasn't told you about Wa?"

And Ilya's heart immediately beats faster in that way it does when he learns something new and unexpected about his husband.

"No he has not. What is a 'Wa'?"

He gets sent a photo a few minutes later of what was probably once a very cute otter plushie, but is now squashed beyond all recognition and missing an eye and an ear.

"Sorry, it was hidden in the back of his closet so I had to dig it out. This is Wa. Or Otter-Wa. David called him that as a joke and it stuck. We got it because Shane was upset we couldn't take the otters home with us, and it became his favorite toy. He wouldn't go anywhere without it."

Ilya is, of course, delighted to learn this and immediately begins plotting.

A few months later, on Shane's birthday, Ilya leads him blindfolded to the surprise he's organised for him.

"I hear water. Baby, you didn't just drag me to a pool after hours, did you? Because I've talked to the contractors and we can install a pool if that's what you want."

And Ilya laughs as he undoes the blindfold, revealing the otter enclosure.

"After all these years I hope that my surprises are a little bit better than that."

And Ilya watches as Shane's eyes fill with tears as he realises where he is.

"Otters?" he asks, looking at Ilya in wonder. "But how did you... I've never told you about the otters."

"You didn't need to," he says with a shrug. "I pay attention to my beautiful husband when he does things. I thought you might like to actually meet some."

"Ready for introductions?" asks one of the zookeepers, and Ilya nods, following them over to the pool.

"But how... Ilya this must have cost a fortune."

And Ilya laughs again at that, pressing a kiss to Shane's cheek.

Hudcon Week 2026 | Day 7: Free Choice