blease be nice to me

car is a sentient beast that eats dollars and can tell when you have money in your bank account

[id: screenshot of a reply by valerico: Car is an expensive horse that loves to die]

I mean to be fair any horse is also an expensive horse that loves to die.

#Flintstones #meme

Ya Ba do!

Not what he says

Ya Ba do!

a deeply underrated part of the gay taylor swift conspiracy theories is that if they're right and she really has spent over a decade sending subliminal messages based on minute details for people to decode then she's uuuuuh. I mean she's insane. she's jigsaw. she's the riddler. her dad bought her career because if she didn't have music to distract her she would have started building deathtraps.

wow dude jts so awesome that your car is loud as fuck and smells worse when it drives past. thags fucking epic man. i really like how it hurts to listen to you drive past and it scares people. thats awesome man. i really like your car that makes a loud as fuck fart sound. fucking epic dude

Having a "stupider people have done this" attitude about the things you want to do can open so many doors

this lettuce smells like dog

you bought dog lettuce

all i need is a sweet treat. and six thousand dollars

Bro I just nearly fucking died

My throats fucked but I like inhaled toothpaste and my throat seized up and I couldn’t breathe worst part is I spat toothpaste everywhere trying to get it out of my mouth and my throat is like fuzzy now?? Water did not help honey tea might

Absolutely flawless how did you get these photos?

I can never leave here

Talking about groups of animals and their group names ‘parliament of owls’ etc. Mentioned that it’s called a ‘blessing of unicorns’ and my dad misheard me and was like ‘a legacy of worms?’ I’m like you know what sure 🪱 that’s what a group of worms is called now