Ah... the Marquis de All the Knives... @twink-biwalker - Tumblr Blog

trying to explain my process of doing errands to my housemates and realising i'm not beating the adhd allegations.

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byjove

here are some additional requirements I would add to the United States presidency:

you are not eligible for the presidency if you are over the age of 65, if you turn 65 in office, that is fine but you cannot campaign if you are over 65

you cannot be president if you are a felon

you cannot be president if you have a personal net worth over $8 million

you cannot be presidency if you have had to file for bankruptcy in a business venture

you cannot be president if you cannot pass a basic neurological exam

you cannot be president if you have been convicted of or found liable for any sex crime, domestic violence or sexual harassment. unproven allegations are cause for investigation and can result in immediate termination from office if proven.

you cannot be president if you have been divorced more than once

you cannot be president if you never smoked weed out of a soda can in high school

you have to be up to date on all of your shots and forklift certification

byjove

straight cis white men are barred from holding executive office, if you’re a cisgender white guy and you want to run for president, you have to kiss another man with tongue for at least 15 minutes on national television and you’re disqualified if you display any sign of disgust

byjove

It would be kind of fun to have a medical dramamedy show where people (patients and people in the medical field) could submit their craziest experiences with the medical system and those plotlines and patient stories could be dramatized and woven into a cohesive narrative with any additional profits from the show going to pay off medical debt.

byjove

Plotline A: Patient is suffering from a near fatal case of hypothermia after passing out in the snow drunk and laying there all night until his 13 year old nephew discovered him in the morning, said 13 year old managed to transport his druncle to the hospital on a snowmobile but the rest of the family cannot make it there due to road conditions.

Plotline B: A live rat fell through the ceiling halfway through an emergency appendectomy, causing the surgeon to startle and rupture the patient’s appendix. Infectious disease is very interested in the situation due to the risk of zoonotic infection. The hospital’s legal department is also very interested in the situation.

foxglovedforest

Hey OP what happened to you

byjove

I’ve been chronically ill since the age of 14 and I enjoy eavesdropping

edettethegreat

martin: I'm going to lie about my age by 4 years so I can get this job.

jon: I'll do you one better, I'll lie about my age by 10+ years so I can be respected in this field.

the humble elias bouchard: ...

vamptits

don't ever look up what your childhood friends are up to now!!!!!!!!!! like girl you're a nuclear safety engineer. i put on matching socks today. we played tag a thousand years ago.

halberdbooks

Yeah

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catcrumb

valtsv

basically the best thing any character can do is decide they don't want to be afraid anymore - in fact they never want to be afraid of anything ever again - and take action so drastic they fail to realise that this too is a decision motivated by fear. or to account for the Consequences of that.

valtsv

[with obvious perverted intent] hey. don't you want to release the safety catches on that character. don't you want to flip off all the switches holding them back and let the control rods go.

pangur-and-grim

Authors, agents, publishers: every part of the industry is seeing the strain of five years of escalating anti-LGBTQ censorship.

pangur-and-grim

if you'd like to show support, here are some upcoming queer books:

When Life Gives You Corpses is a brilliant YA about a cursed praying mantis who falls for a young witch. Yield Under Great Persuasion is a raunchy, but surprisingly sweet story about two men repairing their relationship. Fabulous Bodies is a horror story about a queer rockstar rising from the dead.

This is Where the Future Bleeds is a fantasy set in a vividly imagined land, where two women (who happen to kiss) are the key to healing the broken sky. You're No Better is a story about a teen struggling in the shadow of his murderous parent. Oil on Canvas is about a woman who finds disturbing paintings in the home of her dead mother.

and then here's a list of 26 queer books by Black authors set to publish this year, and a 10 upcoming books by trans authors. if you want to fight back against queer censorship, use your wallet! or (if that's not an option) you can contact your local library and ask them to stock a copy.

wolvesintheflowers-deactivated2

I laughed to hard at this fucking thing.

nattousan

icecreamwithjackdaniels

Henriëtte Ronner-Knip (Dutch–Belgian, 1821–1909), "Study of Eleven Cats" (details), 1904

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is-this-fascism

i don't care if it's nazis, mormons, or a bunch of misguided autistic people. if anyone ever tries to tell you your soul is from another planet and you're actually part of the class of impressive people that secretly did everything cool in the world but is now extinct and lives on through your broken genome, you RUN. YOU WILL RUN AWAY. YOU WILL SPRINT FULL SPEED AWAY FROM THAT.

is-this-fascism

grabs you by the shoulders listen. listen to my words. i understand the urge to make fanfiction about yourself and to find a reality in which you're super awesome and great and everyone who hates you is wrong and dumb. i get it. you're better than that. you can love yourself without putting other people down, dehumanizing and generalizing, and retaliating against your oppressors.

there's no NPCs. there's no aliens coming to save us. we're not the next step in human evolution. our hyperconnected nervous systems give us terrible sensory overwhelm more often than they make us geniuses. neurotypical people are sentient, conscious, aware people who are capable of understanding you. we're more the same than we are different. we're more the same than we are different. we're more the same than we are different.

#neurodivergence #autism #cults #eugenics #2026 tag

tortellinigirl

men really be like “well this woman has studied this subject her whole life, and i am a man, so we have equal knowledge on this”

hcrzallerliebst-a-deactivated20

it’s ok you could have just said “i hate men”

tortellinigirl

okay, i hate men

1dietcokeinacan

hyumjim

Starting a collection

hyumjim

#chronic pain #2026 tag

byjove

I wish they would realize that universal healthcare doesn’t mean they HAVE to get healthcare through the state, just that it is there. You can still pay millions of dollars out of pocket for your own treatment at a private hospital.

America actually has terrible healthcare compared to a lot of nations with socialized medicine:

But you can see how powerful the ‘America is the greatest country on earth’ propaganda is in our schools.

#education #healthcare #universal healthcare #2026 tag

lovehype

i hate this place i want to go to build a bear

lovehype

me and the besties going to build a bear

leftnipsdoodles

powerful mental image, had to get it out

erisluna35

I felt bad for Beth. Had to include her.

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hiveswap

"Is it a safe space to say i hate-" NOT IN THE MAINTAGS IT ISNT

hiveswap

"I hate [character] from [show] soo much #character, #characters's full name, #show,

ARE YOU INSANE

#whatever happened to fandom etiquette for real #I just wanna blog about my blorbos in peace

lipstickchainsaw

When you're unable to solve an IT problem at work, there really is nothing quite like having it escalated all the way up the ladder. With every step, there is a degree of smugness about how real my problem is, and that yes, I was right to have trouble with this.

crowns-of-violets-and-roses

You can get a minor version of this if one IT person solves it but they spend a bunch of time repeating things you’ve already tried and when they eventually solve it it’s by doing something you wanted to try but didn’t have the requisite permissions to do

coral-skeleton

Was in a situation where neither I, nor my boss knew what was causing the problem, so we ended up calling one of the head engineers, and ive never experienced anything quite as validating as the moment where said head engineer, after spending several minutes just staring at the problem, quietly said "what the fuck"

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