alright, survivor 25 locked and loaded

i'm a survivor virgin so idk how these things usually go but the idea of a bunch of guys in a stripped down setting being able to identify you as "the other" within the first few hours of meeting you rlly fucking speaks to my fears

my feelings about the 2.08 rhaenicent scene are so complex and ambivalent but not in a way that aligns with anyone else’s problems with it. to the degree it can be read as genuinely heartbreaking, as a genuine cruelty, it’s gorgeous. to the degree it is straightforward “liberation” or a “gift” rhaenyra is giving to alicent, i find it facile and enraging. the truth about abuse for me, is to leave it you will often have to give something up. it will be something meaningful and true and of value, not just a false delusion. you might need to give it up for something better. it is still a loss. the idea of alicent having to agree to the murder of her son to escape her life of rape and subjugation and save her daughter is beautiful insofar as it can be recognized as a real loss, and as an incredibly, incredibly complicated moral choice. if it is read as a pure attainment of freedom it feels like a grotesque belittling lie of what it actually takes to leave a life. if she hated her son the whole time and only feels relief it doesn’t work. if it is beautiful because she expressed her desire for rhaenyra and so self-actualized re her sexuality and this is unalloyed positive it doesn’t work.

The Facts of Life: The Reunion (Feb. 1, 1986)

It’s not Peter Fonda. It’s what he represents: bikes, freedom… Filth.