Fool

having VR sex and she's hitting my amazing digital cervix

sorry, I made this joke like two weeks ago. Yeah no we're gonna kill you now. Yep, nothing you can do about it, pack it up

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

Ryan Gosling’s career has just been one long quest to climb the Warner Bros water tower

The thing is. I would eat the grapes. I would eat the pomegranate seeds. I would eat the Turkish delights. It doesn’t matter what the stakes are if you put a little plate of snacks out in front of me I’ll eat them.

If you sent me to an evil fantasy realm and told me that if I ate anything I would die a painful terrible death then set a charcuterie board down in front of me that would be it for me. Like it wouldn’t even be like a torturous internal struggle to not eat the cheese. I wouldn’t even need to be that hungry.

your mom jokes don't work when you know someone too well. I would never be in bed with such a wicked woman. That's not even what I had your mom saying last night. I wouldn't speak to her.

Remember that xkcd about how Google searches are shit now? What if we made them even worse for no reason?

I will vote for any candidate who promises to go scorched fucking earth on every tech company. Break every single one of them up into companies based around a single product and then split those in thirds. Weaponize existing antitrust laws to the hilt and pass the most draconian versions of them ever seen on this planet. Nationalize google search specifically. Pass consumer privacy protections strict enough to kill the data harvesting industry for good. Make all of these fuckers go bankrupt for this rent-seeking shit