localdeadguy

Paypal $nz [pay upfront]

Headshot $20

Halfbody $30

Fullbody $45

Mha anime artstyle: sketch $15 , finished $30

2 or more characters + $50 backgrounds + $60

I'm currently ok with my chest balloons kinda neutral about em sure I'd rather just not have them but they are small enough that a baggy shirt and open jacket can hide them and I've never owned a binder (not for a lack of trying)

I can kinda just exist with them when I see my reflection. I guess I kind of view them as man boobs witch helps (there are plenty of men with baggy chests, including my dad)

I think the part about my physical body [excluding my face] that gives me the most gender disphoryia are my thighs, hips, hands, and shoulders

Otherwise, it's mostly feminine nicknames. ESPECIALLY, the ones my dad constantly uses and being called butiful or pretty make me extremely uncomfortable [mostly in the feminine context]

I don't mind dresses ish but it's rare I feel the eurge to ware one and if I do it's mostly just for nostalgia and memories attached to them the only dress I owned was my old prom dress I put it on for nostalgia because when I don't fit in it, it makes me happy I'm nolonger that confused and lonely kid, I've grown

I'm a very sentimental person and keep things I'd rather not have just because it has alot of sentimental value and that includes that dress for a while

Yes, that also includes old toys 🧸 I do have a stash and a most sentimental toy that stays in viewing range

I also think it's because I have to swallow my disphoryia and discomfort when talking to my parents, so it's kinda repressed

Now, if only the job market would give me a JOB!, so I can MOVE OUT! and START! HRT!

Guys, I'm focusing more on oc content/art Currently, would yall be interested in that?

I'm a draco fan a dabi fan hell I love shigaraki they all experience some form of regret/redemption in the end

Dabi realized he was wrong in the end and regrets taking the path he did, draco is full on redeemed at the end going against the pure blood ideology and bulling and his father's influence and canonly marrying someone who is a "mudblood" and loving, shigaraki while not redeemed was made aware and had no choice in what he became

So why can't I like bakugou or endeavor... well my feelings on endeavor fluctuate weekly bakugou tho I guess because [personally] he was never truly scolded or reprimanded in a meaningful way and when he did change it felt almost forced and even after apologizing it comes off as more of an action of convenience to bring deku back to ua and no one else is made aware of the bulling he did to deku he just says vaguely as if not to make everyone else aware "I'm sorry, for everything" then lists of his insecurities ok sure but that is so vague

Instead he should have said something along the lines of acknowledgment of the treatment Instead of a vague "for everything" like "I'm sorry for bulling you" or "for making you miserable" or even "I'm sorry for projecting my insecurity onto you throughout the years" something more direct instead of anonymous

Maby, I'm being picky after all the fact that he even tries to apologize is massive for him

He also never experiences genuine consequences for the damage he did. Endeavor tho was given consequences maby not as much as he should of but still permanent consequences

Have 1a or the teachers hell even the parents find out about it have him be sent to therapy or work with bullied victims to really see the wight of his actions or have deku not forgive him even just .....SOMETHING maby have him be held back a year or 2 to focus on his aditude and actions

There are many reasons for it that people don't think about and just label as "cold" or "bad person"

[Warning talk of depression and mental disorders]

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1 reason is suppression people suppress themselves for many reasons shame, self-hatred, trauma, and more

2 stress, stress, and low energy/burnout affect your ability to give and feel sympathy/empathy and other emotions

3 depression, this one is quite common but I need to emphasize that depression can come in many forms one such form is dulled emotion like watching life through fog no matter how much you wish to care you simply can't because you are convinced that "what's the point nothing matters" you are so deep in that hole that people arnt real to you anymore

That type of depression is sometimes a defensive mechanism or a subconscious infection

4 mental illness ie adhd, autism, aspd, and more. These things also affect how you express and experience emotions

Personally, I'm nerodivergent, and it massively affects how I express and feel in the moment. I literally can't feel more than one emotion at a time I move from 3 states 1. feel everything. 2. feel nothing or 3. a mix of dulled emotion, and I struggle identifying my own emotions sometimes

For me it's also a case of subconscious depression I used to be an incredibly empathetic and emotional but these last few years that ability has dulled its harder to care for people and I've slowly fallen down that hole [I'm trying to get into the habit of climbing back up]

5 medication yes medication can dull or highten emotion sometimes

There are many reasons for someone to "not care" or "be cold" it's not empathy or sympathy that makes you a good person it's your actions

Whether or not you feel or don't or it's simply dulled, you can still have morals. You can still know the difference between right and wrong, and it's your choices that make you a good person

Before you judge someone on a lack of emotional response or extreme response take into consideration that that's NOT what you should Judge

Judge the actions they take after

Now: eh, he's fine ig

5 years ago: the lov and shigaraki are interesting, but ya, I don't really care unless it's a villain deku au

Kids have no impulse control, don't understand reality, and usually speak their minds

This leads to some...embarrassing things we regret

I was a very moody kid very easily confused and possessive/envies and incredibly impulsive I didn't have an anger problem but a judgment one

And this has resulted in QUITE the few things where looking back make me cringe so hard I wish I could forget I did it, but there were also things I kinda agree with little me that I still don't get

Why am I being scolded for feeling left out of my own birthday? Why am I not taken seriously when I genuinely thought I was gonna die and instead scolded for feeling small and unloved sure I did something I was told would possibly get me killed to not do but scold me for that not me feeling egnored,

There is one incident I remember the most that still confused me I was in trouble for something I didn't know I did and when asked just got "you know what you did stop playing dumb" I sobed for the rest of that day because I "did something wrong" that I didn't know about

That one sticks with me the most because I never got an apology or an explanation I still don't know what I did

Oh, and cutting my hair, I hated my long hair and wanted it gone when I realized I was aloud to want that, and girls could have boy hair. I begged for it for 6 YEARS! I was only allowed to cut it at 17 for my birthday.... I don't understand why I wasn't aloud to sooner my parents treated me getting a boyish hair cut like I was asking for alcohol or meth

I still don't understand it. It's just hair, MY hair, hell, I got my ears priced at 11 with little to no pushback. IT MAKES NO SENSE