I love charcuterie. One million tiny sandwiches I made myself please
Why is this the most popular post on my jeffrey combs gooner blog
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@goodoneguys
I love charcuterie. One million tiny sandwiches I made myself please
Why is this the most popular post on my jeffrey combs gooner blog

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you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put ‘you absolute’ in front of it
example: you absolute coat hanger
as well u can just add ‘ed’ to any object and it’s sounds like you were really drunk
example: i was absolutely coat hangered last night
#i was gazeboed mate #i was absolutely baubled
Meanwhile, “utter” works for the first (e.g., “you utter floorboard”) but somehow “utterly” doesn’t seem to work as well for the second (“I was utterly floorboarded”).
Utterly doesn’t work for drunk because it’s the affix for turning random objects into terms for *shocked*, obviously.
… huh. I thought that might just be the similarity to “floored”, and yet “I was utterly coat hangered” does seem to convey something similar.
I have to tell you, I am utterly sandwiched at this discovery.
Completely makes the phrase mean “super tired”.
“God, it’s been a long week, I am completely coat-hangered.”
Something is
Something is wrong with our language
Is it a glitch or a feature?
Feature
Main takeaway from Brand New Day
One big potato and two small potatoes.
just saw a chair so photogenic I had to reevaluate my feelings towards plastic furniture
do you see this. beyond ridiculous
what are our thoughts
I understand your feelings for the chair robin crabussy
unpost this right now you strange strange man
I hired a wizard to cast png on it. effervescent

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One big potato and two small potatoes.
I’m currently on temporary unemployment benefits due to my job being closed for the summer so despite having a job waiting for me I still had to go see a lady about job prospects and my plans for the future.
She looked at my files and said “So…what are your plans?”
“My plans?” I asked.
“Yes. You’re a dishwasher. You don’t want to do that forever, do you?”
“Maybe not, but I’m happy with it right now. It pays surprisingly well, I never have to work weekends or overtime, and it’s the sort of job I don’t have to bring with me home mentally. It frees up a lot of time to do the things I like”
“Like what?”
“Hobbies, my family, friends, my pets. I don’t want to hate my job but I don’t want it to be my whole life either, eating away at the things that give my life meaning”
She looked at me for a few seconds then said “You know…the older I get I understand that mindset more and more”
And then she went into a very long, very personal rant about how she has started feeling like she wasted her life on high demand jobs and how taxing and mentally draining her current job is because she has to make huge decisions that can ruin people’s lives and how do you not take that home with you? She loved drawing too but she hadn’t picked up a pen in years and-
So the conversation went from “Your life must be a bit shit with a job like that” to “Oh my god my job is shit and I’ve wasted my life on it!”
I felt like I was the inciting incident in one of those lifetime movies about a woman quitting her job and moving back to her home town to make up for lost time. I hope she’s doing well.
#do u think that it was awkward in the group when the rest found out that shere khan hunted down and tried to kill a kid multiple times? #im not discussing the ethics of shere khan trying to kill a child or whether mowgli deserved it or not im just wondering like. #was it awkward for them #do u think tigger and hobbes text abt him and how they can’t invite him to big family bbqs anymore bc of chris and calvin? #does tony stop posting group pics that have shere khan in them bc he doesn’t want to lose his kelloggs endorsement? #tigress probably is the neutral party bc humans don’t even exist to her #is there a big drunken blowout between them one night where the tension is too strong #and shere khan yells about how ‘you don’t understand! he tied a fucking ON FIRE BRANCH to my TAIL!! i was traumatized!’ #and theyre all like ‘you don’t think he was traumatized??? you were hunting him and telling the whole jungle you were going to kill him!’ #there’s a scuffle that ends in tigress holding back shere khan and both tigger and calvin holding back tony… #eventually the latter two convince tony to leave the restaurant for some fresh air #and and shere khan breaks down and sobs that he just wants his fucking friends back while the rest of the restaurant watches in silence? #idk something to think about
(Tags by ofalltheginjoints)
trust i got yall fr 💯💯💯
@imsorrypumpkin ://

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Whenever I think about the value of something being done by a person who really understands the job from a lifetime of experience, I think of my first restaurant job. My goal was to work every position, and I started with a year and a half in the dish pit at 16yo.
When i started as a dishwasher, i was trained by an old career dish pit man named Claudio. He'd spent his whole life washing dishes. It allowed him to move to just about any city in the world that he wanted to and get a job without having to deal with complex hiring processes or strict resumé requirements. Which was the main thing he wanted out of a career. I still think about him.
He'd seen a lot of people come through that station who either didn't consider it a real job or thought it was beneath them, on their way to "better" or "more important" things. And, in retrospect, those first two days he was sort of doing the minimum with me that he could do and still respect himself when he told the manager he'd trained me.
But, maybe it was because i was really interested in learning all the positions there were in a restaurant because i knew they were ALL important, or because i was a hard worker, or maybe it was because i tried to have real conversations with him in my broken spanish and did my best to not make him speak any english unless he wanted to, but after a couple days there was a big shift in the way he and i worked together, and he started to really teach me.
That place ran the dish pit with one dishwasher, so when he was done training me I was going to be doing the job on my own.
The thing that stuck with me the most, for the rest of my restaurant career, was this... and it wasn't just the actual things he was saying, but a completely new way of looking at what i was doing within the context of how the restaurant ran. I came in for my 3rd day and he said
"When you work alone, you want to go home by midnight?"
we clocked on at 3:30 and took a half hour lunch break and usually skipped our tens, so, yeah i absolutely did want to get off work by midnight
Then, even tho i already knew where most of everything was by that time, he took me around and showed me all the dishes, cups, pots and pans, spatulas, silverware, had me look at all of it. Then he told me to remember that almost every one of the dishes I was looking at would be used more than once by the end of our shift- we were clocking on to wash the entire building full of dishes multiple times.
Then he led me back over to the industrial dishwasher most restaurants have, which looks like this:
and then this 60 year old career dishwasher from Mexico City said the thing that changed how I looked at restaurant jobs forever
"This machine takes two full minutes to run a cycle. We are on the clock for 8 hours. That means we have a maximum of 240 times we can run this machine. If you want to wash all those dishes, clean your station, mop, and clock off by midnight? This machine has to be on and running every second of the shift.
If you don't have a full load of dishes collected, scraped, rinsed, stacked, and ready to go into the dishwasher the second it's done every single time? You can't do it. If, over the course of 8 hours, you let this machine lay idle for just one minute in between finishing each load and being turned on again? Instead of 240 loads, you'll do 160 loads.
[like, literally, he had done this math, he had these exact figures]
160 loads instead of 240 loads means you are doing 20 loads in an hour instead of 30 loads. That means the dishes are going to pile up. The cooks will run out of pots and pans and will have to stop and wait for you, the servers will run out of plates and cups and have to stop and wait for you, and your night is going to SUCK. Every part of how this restaurant works can grind to a halt because of that idle minute between dish loads, and if it does you'll have an entire building of people in a hurry and all waiting on you.
And it means you're going to be here until 2 am doing the 200+ loads of dishes this restaurant goes through every night.
For this to work, you MUST have this dishwasher on and running every minute of the shift. As soon as you turn it on you have two minutes to have the next load ready. See these large items i put to the side down here? One or two of them takes up all the space in the machine. I keep them here so that if the machine finishes and shuts off before i'm ready for it i can stick one of these in there and turn it on again immediately. You have to think like that to do this job without stress."
The way he was looking at how the whole restaurant ran, the way he was looking at how he'd spend each minute of the entire shift, the way he broke down what the physical limits were and how to max them out so he could do his job and go home on time without stressing out... The way this 60 year old guy, who had never had professional ambitions beyond being a dishwasher, was still such a competent and brilliant expert in his field.
It was all such an important lesson, and one that stayed with me through every position i went on to work in restaurants, dish pit, busser, server, cook, all the way up through manager before I finally got out of my restaurant career
Claudio never wanted to be anything but a dishwasher who didn't stay any later than he had to.
But he knew how that restaurant ran better than most of the other people in it. I never had a chance to truly thank him for the specific lesson he taught me, because while it had an immediate impact, I didn't really understand how valuable a lesson it was until much later.
But I've thought about Claudio and what i learned from him many MANY times in my life.
All of this. Disaster befalls any company that holds no regard for the expertise of the lowest level staff.
In my younger years I worked at a medical office that managed both mental health and addiction recovery. The company had purchased an empty lot down the road from the building we rented to build a better facility with larger capacity. The CEO worked for months with the architect, and just as they were finalizing everything they happened to let me - who was the receptionist at that time - take a gander at the blueprints. It took all of three seconds for two major issues to jump out at me.
“The receptionist can’t see the waiting room from her desk with this layout.” I said. “It’s around the corner and blocked by a wall.”
“Is that important?” They asked.
“Do you want me to be able to keep track of the patients who are waiting?” I asked.
“Isn’t that what the sign-in sheet is for?” They asked me.
“Not everyone who comes here is signing in for an appointment, some are coming to check in, some people are here for the group therapy and need to be directed to the other side of the building, some people are painfully shy and if I don’t appear warm and inviting they won’t approach.” I explain.
“How often does that even happen?” They asked.
“Every day.” I explain.
“Bullshit.” They said.
“I’m not joking at all. Also, where is the chart room?” I asked.
“Oh, over here.” They said, pointing to a tiny closet on the far side of the building from the receptionist and check out desks. It was tucked neatly beside the CEO’s office. To get there the secretaries would have to go through two sets of security doors and it would be a five minute walk each way.
“Why isn’t it next to the front office, since that’s where the people who use it are?” I asked.
“We had concerns about people just going into the chart room to goof off and not do their work. It takes them away from their desks too much. You should only go in the chart room twice a day - once in the morning to pull the charts for the day, and once in the evening to put way the charts. It would remain locked and the CEO would have the key and let you in to supervise.” They said.
“We pull charts the day before so everything is ready to go and we can alert staff if a patient with additional needs is coming in. We have to go in the chart room every time a patient calls in that’s having a problem with their meds or is in crisis or otherwise has a question for the nurse. We have to go in there every time someone cancels and we are able to fit a waitlisted patient in. We go in there 20 - 30 times a day for legitimate reasons. The only reason any of us has ever gone in there to take a minute was when we got news that a patient had died and we were crying. And even then, we filed charts as we sobbed because no one in this office has free time.”
They stared at me.
“Sit with me for an hour and see what happens up here.” I said.
They took the blueprints away from me before I could keep looking at them, but they took me up on sitting with me. They didn’t last an hour. They changed the blueprints to fix both things I’d pointed out.
Unfortunately, they didn’t let me keep looking at it and they never asked the janitor what he thought, so no one caught the final fatal flaw in the design.
There were no closets in the entire building. Nowhere to put our supplies. And I’m not talking just a place for stationary and pens. I mean no janitorial closet. Nowhere to put paper towels and toilet paper or cleaning products. Nowhere to put holiday decorations or anything at all. They completely forgot about storage of any kind and immediately started eyeballing my hard-won chart room for it.
They wound up putting all the supplies in the cabinets under the sinks in the public bathrooms. And, surprising to no one, all of it got stolen after our first week in the new building. All our spare keyboards and monitors and phones and even our paper towels just walked out of the building. Because the CEO who had never worked a lower level job in his life wasn’t convinced closets were worth it.
i??????? sksjsbzvsvshdhsbdb
update:
“he”?
confirmed
I’ve seen this post a bunch and never once did I consider a scenario where it wasn’t about a woman.
hey. Wanna hear something funny
HE IS A DUDE!
THE PLOT TWIST A LIFETIME
HE *DID* DO HER RIGHT!
Hello! My name is Von. I am a trans dude out in Brooklyn and I finally have a top surger… Von Morris needs your support for Help Von Recove
Putting the link in the post.
Got obsessed with the dynamic of these losers
Spider-Man Brand New Day was such a fun movie, man
a book should be $5 a little drink should be $2 and museum access should be free and all hours
You think you can't be plural because there aren't any other voices in your head?
You already have one. Her name is tinnitus.
She's not nonverbal she knows how to say the letter e and loves to do it more than anything

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inspired.
technique looks perfect