your mom says hi

I love charcuterie. One million tiny sandwiches I made myself please

Why is this the most popular post on my jeffrey combs gooner blog

I'm rooming w a buddy of mine who's Chinese and she started playing some MMO and I was like, what's with the Chinese music and she was like "I just call it music. Just a lil glimpse into how Chinese I am." Which is a funny little response except she is high as fuck and stretched it out to approximately three unbroken minutes because she kept laughing too hard at her own punchline

:/

forklift who trusts you very much leading you to her nest where a newborn pallet jack is waiting and squealing and squeaking for milk and she is showing you this because she trusts ands loves you so much

This is what it means to be forklift certified

i don't say this very often so you can trust me when i say for the love of god please unmute

Audio description: Very loud trilling purrring.

Very important kitty noises

I think your cat is probably a dove

The cat is ringing, pick up!

....PURRGLING!!!

Draw him alive and well. Ok now draw him playing sudoku

Now draw him struggling at sudoku in a manner that is no longer endearing and is now embarassing

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

real life texture glitch

Domesticated rock has returned to the wild and become feral

We forgot about it

I once signed up to participate in a study on how depression affects memory, forgot I was meant to go do it, and when I emailed to apologise to the PhD student running it she basically told me that a) she was very used to this happening and b) the weird irony of her theories’ correctness making it very difficult to arrange proving them had by now gone from infuriating to hysterical

They're turning the fricking frogs gay!

we finally found it. the rainbow connection.

they should invent a way for me to do tasks without the mind torture