Conclusion: Dinosaurs

Aroace Ryland Grace Pics + Textposts

because I couldn't help myself

I can't get it out of my mind. It's just too clean. Perfection. And we should all appreciate what Donna Beneviento did as one of the main RE villains. The horrors she made Ethan go through that he snapped and started chasing her around the house, thinking he was actually stabbing a grotesque porcelain doll.

First of all, Ethan Winters. His story started with the man he has started associating with protection, safety and trust....fucking barging into his house with his boys, putting 23 bullets in the love of his life, his Mia, and then kidnapping his baby and him with NO EXPLANATION. He is already pissed off, he is terrified. Even before, his wife was snapping at him but he didn't seem to mind that much. Ok, Mia is worried. That's why she is angry.

Then he gets thrown into some medieval timeline with lycans trying to eat him. One of them already ate half your left hand. He is scouring for guns to just stay alive. Then some magneto dude stabs him and kidnaps him. Yes, he gets kidnapped AGAIN. Five dark universe characters are discussing how to kill him without even acknowledging he is right there. He gets chased around by lycans. Vampire flies-ladies string him up. He is reading messages left by previous victims of the castle. The tallest woman he has ever seen is chasing him around with long blades for nails. Slices his hand off, and he's so done that he just casually sticks it back. He stabs her with magic dagger and then he LOSES IT because he is just a clumsy dude dropped in some bullshit. She changes into a dragon and mocks him that he will never get Rose. The big guy calling himself duke casually tells him that the little flask is actually containing the head of his baby...HIS BABY GOT CRYSTALLIZED AND DISMEMBERED. And the next Lord he has to face...is Donna Beneviento.

You go there...expecting lycans or zombies. Instead...you see babygirl dolls that are hanged in the trees. Mia's apparition appears with Rose in her arms, asking you to come see her. You're finally saying it out loud. Have I lost my mind? You follow the apparition. It begs you to fix Rose because something is wrong with her. Baby dolls. Strollers. A huge grave stone of a 10 year old child. The door you enter can't be opened until you give up your memories. So, you give away your photo of your wife and child. Inside...something is telling you to come with them. Ok. What other option by that point.

You enter...a nice looking house. It's homely. It's lived in. It's domestic. Someone was embroidering. Overall, actually quite normal and yet eerie. No worries. I got a shotgun. I got pipe bombs. I can blow the ventriloquist and her creepy doll sky high if need be. You get to a lower level through another elevator. The creepy doll is with a flask. The flask with a part of Rose. And then...ALL YOUR WEAPONS ATE GONE. You feel fucking naked. Great.

Then...on the table is a life sized mannequin/doll that resembles your wife. The photo of your wife's dead body on the table too. The wife who got killed in front of you not even 12 hours ago perhaps. How do you get out? You realise you have to solve puzzles by basically taking the doll apart. Almost like a mock autopsy. The code is your wedding date. The wedding gift from grandma is there for some reason. Mia's old bag, the one you found in Dulvey, is there too?? I think that's what it was?? They didn't give the option to examine it. Oh! Every time you take the doll apart...the radio plays the voice of Mia in distress. That she is hiding things from you again but she is doing it to not destroy your family. Hiding things AGAIN. AGAIN. Lord. You hear your baby crying and crying and crying and crying and crying and probably the same cry you heard when Rosemary was born. I am pretty sure that was the symbolism because when you get back to the examination room...the Mia doll is gone. And there is a trail of blood.

Blood everywhere. And an umbilical cord that looks wrong. Because it's huge and too long. Way too long. Something went wrong with birthing process. You follow the umbilical cord and a GIANT DEFORMED FETUS WITH GRASSHOPPER LEGS STALKS YOU. Calling you dad and chirping in delight if finally finding its dada. You just run and hide from it. Is it Rose? Are you disgusted by your own child?

Ethan is full on PANICKING in your ears now. And you're panicking with him. You just want to go. Go. Go. Just find the shit. Find the room. Find the fuse. Get to the elevator. Ethan is losing his mind. So am I. We are SUFFERING. He is screaming, I am screaming because he is breathing like he has an anxiety attack. The ELEVATOR IS TAKING TOO LONG. THE FETUS MONSTER IS HERE!!! FUCK ME. FUCK YOU, ETHAN. I am just angry at everyone. Irrational. Horrified.

Then you FINALLY go up in the elevator. YOU BREATH.

But then you get out and everything feels foggy. Too bright. Like looking at the world through smudged lenses. The master of the house appears in front of you and says you can't leave. The dolls attack you with knives and blades, asking you to play hide and seek. The way you wished you could have played with your daughter when she grows up. Every time you stab the creepy doll, it says vile things - It would have been better if Rose was never born. Will Ethan hurt Rose like he hurts the doll? - Ethan is running around the house in a manic state. Stabbing the doll. And then when the illusion breaks...you realise you have stabbed a woman to death.

The fog has lifted. There are no babydolls. Even the elevator looks normal. You just look at your bloody hands. Did you just stab someone innocent? WHO FUCKING KNOWS. You don't have time. You collect the flask.

And then Ethan says, "Mia, I will make everything right."

And I am like: WHAT DID YOU DO WRONG, BABYGIRL?! You literally got dropped in a gothic horror novel when you should have been romcom protagonist! Because OF COURSE. Ethan thinks he has to fix things. He has to make things right. He will make it right. He will save Rose. He couldn't protect Mia. AGAIN. He can at least save their daughter. And then he will live happily ever after. He has to. This is the right thing to do!

The horror of doing mock autopsy on your wife's mannequin look-alike, after you believe she was killed. The photo of her dead body right there. Just before you "gave up your memories of her and Rose" to enter this strange abode. And the radio keeps playing her voice, begging you to understand that she did what she did because she loves you and your baby too much. Shortly before being chased by a deformed fetus monster.

Immaculate psychological horror. No wonder Ethan lost his mind and stabbed Donna Beneviento to death.

YES i love it when adrian is way bigger than rocky uh here's my take on rocky and adrian

Except this is a man who has isolated himself to the exclusive company of androids.

I am now remembering that her PC Decima from when she guest starred on Bards of New York also had various magical metal prosthetics (that heated up!), and that Aabria mentioned in the Study Hall interview that she irl had multiple sports related injuries including a disc to the back that was the final end of her sports career.

Ship Tournament, Round 3 — Match 6 / 7

Nocturne/Shadowheart

"Nocturne is so important to Shadowheart that she was the only thing she remembered from the Cloister. They were two sad, lonely girls who couldn't see a way past their situation, who were able to find some light and joy with each other."

vs. Aylin/Isobel/Shadowheart

"Isobel and Aylin should never be separated but also they 100% welcomed Shadowheart to Selunite worship via a character-development threesome."

 He has no one to bitch to about it. 

Even the Emperor’s jumped on the superweapon hype train. Even the tolerably-competent officers like Tarkin are all #TeamDeathStar, and then there’s smug assholes like Admiral Motti who just won’t shut up about it, and honestly?

Vader’s probably been on the email CC list for the design since the project started. Years of enduring shitty design and interdepartmental bickering and watching some smarmy asshole in an inferior cloak prance about bloviating about his special superweapon like somebody who has an anime body pillow of the superlaser housing.

And then there’s this one scientist who keeps going on and on about this thermal exhaust problem.

Just. Huge amounts of emails on the subject, going on and on and on about it.

Vader is totally the only person who actually reads these after the first, like, five of them. Everybody else just skims through them with a side of “Seriously, Galen? Another one? Force-dammit, Krennic, couldn’t you have left him on that mudball with his family?” But Vader is bored out of his skull with 90% of his job anyway, and it’s not like he has anything better to do. Besides, viciously judging other people’s design abilities is the closest thing to pass for fun when there aren’t any Rebels to slaughter or armies to curbstomp, and there’s plenty of shit design for the judging.

He spots the flaw in the reactor the first time it appears in the plans.

He’d have shit himself if it wasn’t for the suit.

He promptly makes a bet with himself on whether anybody is going to spot it.

Nobody does.

They’re a pack of idiots. Every last one of them.

Maybe he contemplates telling them for like two-thirds of a second. It would be fun to lord his actual mechanical expertise over that little shit, Krennic.

But then he considers that he can only tell them once, and what if it were after the thing blew itself right the fuck up, what if that? He can still point out the flaw, and he can throw everyone’s stupidity right in their stupid faces, but also there’ll be no more Death Star.

So when Galen Erso sends out Thermal Exhaust Problem Analysis Report #6,109 and buried in paragraph 37 is a suggestion of an extra exhaust port, and Krennic responds with “SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT YOUR GODDAMN THERMAL EXHAUST PORT, GALEN, I DON’T GIVE A SHIT!” and Erso goes, “So you approve the solution?” and Krennic goes “S***** F*** LKJDGJFKL!!!!LJF$%#$DJF! YES!” Vader saves the email exchange for posterity and is downright cheerful the rest of the week.

True, he acts in its defense, chasing down Rebels when the plans are stolen. Of course he does. They’re Rebels, and hunting them down is his job and one of the very few pleasures of his existence. But it’s not for the Death Star. In fact, if one of them were to escape with its plans, and hide them successfully, and keep their location secret through torture and worse, and if another of them were to fly a starfighter well enough to keep from being destroyed long enough to drop a torpedo through that vulnerable exhaust port and touch off that reactor instability and turn the whole massive, ridiculous, wasteful, absurd, and vaguely insulting contraption into so much spacedust …

… well …

… oops.

Vader’s only regret about the whole affair is that Krennic predeceased it and is therefore unavailable for gloating to.

It’s Vader. The last guy you want to see. The guy who’s basically a galactic boogeyman. He doesn’t have Krennic to mess with but he’s MORE than happy to watch it again and be all like…