Liveblogging episodes one and two of Dungeon Masters, season two!
We are off to the Anauroch Desert, where we may see both dungeons and dragons!
The characters are members of Order of the Ninth Quill, a faction of thieves, saboteurs, and general rogues using magic to find magical items.
Jasmine, introducing a wizard NPC: "Her eyebags have eyebags, but we don't judge here." Mood.
Sailor is southern XD Sand surfer and Warrior of the Mystic Arts monk Aasimar. He'll be team leader for this mission!
Cadmus Pennypetal, about five feet tall of human wizardry. He studied in Evereska?
Sapphira Horayas is a vestige patron warlock elf who has a lizard :D
First roll of the season: Mayanna rolls a 1 on Perception XD
Jasmine: "I believe that's what we in the business called a 'tee pee kay'…"
Sapphira has been through fifty-four groups. Lucky number fifty-five!
'L'il P', Princess Hobnip, is a goliath arcane archer. Adorable little face, built like a brick shithouse. Fought dragons!! …No it wasn't, she went to Witchlight and was fully tripping.
Princess: "If you make me leader of this mission, I'll make sure everyone comes back in one piece! …Or maybe two!"
Oh no, the dragonborn got True Polymorphed into a li'l frog. The frog is wearing a Speak With Animals ring as a bracelet that he gives to Princess.
And we're already into interpersonal character drama <3
Oh dear, Cadmus is the work experience kid.
Cadmus Alters Self to look like Sailor, who examines him with interest.
Sailor: "Huh. Ain't seen my reflection for some time."
Cadmus: "You're a pretty bastard, aren't you?"
Sailor: "Yes I am, sir. Yes I am."
Dev: *fujoing out with a :D expression*
Cadmus has a +11 to History, damn.
Oh boy, Cadmus has mother issues. She's a Harper and wizard and powerful and Cadmus is trying very hard to live up to it.
Roll for initiative, a living spell that was once a Flaming Sphere! …No one rolls well XD
A 20 and then straight to a 1 :')
Whew, Sailor gets whacked straight off for 28, minus 4 for Absorb Elements. Ouch. He gets it back with a spinning tornado kick and a nat 20! Then because of his new subclass, a Thunderclap on top of that.
Neil: "The spell can be heard from a hundred feet away, which feels excessive…"
Does a lot of damage, but he's down to 17 :')
Princess is so excited, her background is Fire Giant :D She just wants everyone to love her!
Dev: "So I'm going to use my Prestidigitation, which is really hard to say…"
Neil, laughing: "You're going to use Prestidigitation in combat?"
Dev: "Yeah, is that a problem?"
Neil: "No, love that, chef's kiss :D"
She has confounded the Flaming Sphere living spell XD Neil has lowkey lost it.
Sapphira fires! Misses. Fires! Misses. Asks her familiar, Rascal the thorny devil! Misses. Starts to cry. Pensive emoji.
Cadmus has Echo the fennec fox I adore her. High fiving the fennec!
Sailor loses his shit and just starts punching the Living Spell. Fair tbh.
Sailor: "GET! IN! THE! BOX!!"
Sailor: "You bought this from Dodgy Rog?"
Jasmine: "We've all bought things from Dodgy Rog."
A much-needed long rest, and now we meet a Pseudodragon 🥺
Cadmus does not want to deal with arcane shenanigans :') It messed up Evereska? Huh!
Cadmus and Sapphira try to do a group high five kinda thing. Princess puts her hand in, catches Sailor going :| and withdraws. Social awkwardneeeeess~!
And we're into episode 2! Neil where did you get that jacket. I want that jacket.
Old dwarf is pretty much "LMAO YOU'RE DOOMED." Good to hear!
Everyone fails the Stealth check XD
Sailor: "CAN YOU KEEP QUIET-IET-IET-IET…"
Found a bunch of rather hostile creatures trying to look after their eggs… Cadmus tries to steal one.
Sandstorm! Cadmus pulls out Leomund's Tiny Hut and the others chill. Princess meditating with sound bowls and bagpipes… Sailor hasn't noticed and keeps digging for like twenty minutes.
The sandstorm lasts four days. Oh that's not good.
Dev: "So who're we going to eat?"
Sailor has a lucky charm bangle from his sibling :') …It doesn't work XD The dice gods are displeased from the last episode, looks like!
They find an ox! With big sad doe eyes! Sailor gets out a bow -
Dev: "I'm going to take a bow and shoot Neil."
Sailor is so tired :') Comment in the chat: "Sailor giving Walker vibes and I don't hate it…"
Okay so Bringers of the Cosmic Dawn are just Heaven's Gate: Faerun Edition.
Oh no they're not Heaven's Gate, they're Jehovah's Witnesses :')
Sailor gets a natural 20 on the weird-twins-even-though-one-is-older Arcana check! Transmutation wizards who can manipulate time, neat :o Joseph the Older and Joseph the Younger.
Zargon? Zargon. That sounds ominous :)
Roll for initiative against the… skittering whatevers! Everyone rolls much better this time (except Neil).
Dev: "Joseph the Younger knows these guys, doesn't he?"
Jasmine: "He's kind of… crazy?"
Dev: "He is? …I just thought he was passionate!"
Jasmine: *loses it*
Sailor taking to the skies and giving excellent advice: "These things are real motherfuckers!"
Counterspell you bastard. It's great when you get to use it! Not so great when the giant sandworms eat your spell!
Dev: "Did it notice me?"
Jasmine: "You shot it. I'd hope so."
Dev do not get on the cow- Jasmine reminds her of The Miniature Pony incident.
Neil: "Psychic damage!"
Jasmine: "Reliving your trauma is a free action."
Ooh, Sailor's wings act as Shield! His AC is now 23 :D
Sailor: "As we say where I come from: big tent, no pole, sir!"
Celestial Guardian shaped like a little girl from a J-horror film :D
DO A BARREL ROLL. Oh funky his wings do extra radiant damage.
Sailor: "Come with me if you want to live!"
Dev: "No, it's fine, I just have no expectations any more. I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed :')"
Cadmus Fireballs down the maw's throat! 27 points of damage!
Dev, not wanting to roll: "…Can I just not?"
Neil: "It's a nat 20!"
Dev: rolls a 1
Neil: "…No it's not. It's okay. It's okay. You know what? You know what, Dev? You tried, mate."
Mayanna: "This is an important arc for Dev as a player -"
Neil: "And as a person!"
Mayanna: "And as a person. It's the five stages of grief in real time :)"
Jasmine: "I love a good monkey's paw, Dev…"
Dev: "What's a monkey's paw?"
Neil: "A monkey's paw is you wish for something but it comes with a massive sting in its tail -"
Dev: "Ooh, done."
That is a lot of dice. 31 points of psychic damage, and Dev is Downed.
Jasmine: "I am going to be a little cruel -"
After the 31 psychic damage??
Sailor: "Hangin' on like a hair in a biscuit…"
How many points does Joseph the Elder have?? Just tanked 44 points of damage!
Go Sapphira you can do it!! …No you can't nvm.
Sailor gets up on his windskiff, pours a potion of healing on the unconscious Princess, and hauls her up.
Sailor: "Your highness; uppies."
And Cadmus and Sapphira are still down there. Godspeed, guys.
Yeah Cadmus definitely has issues of self-esteem (and mothers). He makes an escape via Misty Step, Princess and Sailor are sailing away, and Sapphira is riding off. The party is split and scattered! Will they survive? Find out next week! (Slightly delayed for me lmao)
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