Goldpath

Could yall stop shooting each other outside my window im trying to masturbate

So this was actually the sound of my car getting stolen

I wish people would stop saying “It’s July. Well done for wasting half a year.” Did you make someone smile in the past six months? Did you stroke a cat or throw a stick for a dog? Did you learn a new fact or teach someone a new joke? Did you laugh, cry, scream or sing in the past six months? Because if so, congratulations for not wasting your time at all.

Happy 10th birthday to this, my post of all time. Glad to have spent the last 10+ years wasting my time on tumblr with you all 💖

why did they start breeding busses to have flat faces. they can't breathe

I think about this often and I'm always so charmed by it.

I just wanna be the very unfunny autistic person saying that the flat face change was made to create much less flattened children on our roads. The driver can’t see their tiny selves as easily over that big ass bus nose. Not that anyone was asking for the real reason we bred our buses like we did our pugs.

I dont know if it includes bees but hummingbirds do supplement their nectar diet with insects so this is basically a brave knight protecting her kingdom from the diabolical hoverdragon.

When I (M29) was a young boy (M7) my father (M35) took me into the city (X167) to see a marching band (M23, M21, M22, F22, M24, M25, F21, M

He said “Son (M7) when you grow up (F33) would you be — wait what”