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Noah Kahan

Origami Around
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Love Begins

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@sequel2heaven

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You are Kris Dreemurr. You are a teenager. You have autism. Your parents are divorced. You are running on 2 hours of sleep and 1 meal a day. You are lying to everyone you know. You are constantly being attacked by scary monsters. You are being forced into betraying your friends and helping to destroy the world. Your dad was kidnapped and it's your fault. You are being possessed and puppeted by a being from another dimension which overrides your free will. Your body is literally rotting and decaying every second you're not being magically enslaved. You are NTR'd out of your childhood best friend love interest. You are NTR'd out of your butch tomboy love interest. You are Mom NTR'd by a talking skeleton. And to make matters worse you are misgendered constantly.
there's a particular breed of twitter/youtube account who has been posting RUSSIA IS SO BONED once a week since 2022 and their posting frequency has increased to every couple of hours in mid-2026
France Just Dealt Russia a DEVASTATING Blow Satellite Imagery Just Confirmed Putin's Worst Nightmare Russia Just Got Some TERRIBLE News The Situation on Crimea Has Become Truly Insane Russia is Now Fleeing the ENTIRE Sea of Azov (75 Ships Disabled!) Russia Has Gone Completely Insane Ukraine Just DELETED Russia’s Shadow Fleet Russia is Threatening to “Use the Nukes” Again (lol) Russian Society is Completely Unraveling Russia is Completely Folding Right Now Russia’s Military Has Begun Abandoning the Front Lines Putin's Closest Ally Just Betrayed Him Russians Are Now FLEEING Crimea in HUGE Numbers Russia's Propagandists are Panicking About Crimea Right Now Ukraine Just Warned ALL Russians to FLEE Crimea (while they still can) Ukraine Just Triggered a MASSIVE Fuel Crisis in Russia Something BIG is Brewing in Chechnya Right Now The Belarus Situation is Becoming a BIG Problem for Putin Russia Just Lost Their Most Important Leader (more important than Putin) Putin's Response to Armenia's Election Was Absolutely INSANE Putin is FURIOUS as Elite Russian Soldiers Flee Their Positions Russia is Preparing to Sacrifice 1,000,000 More Men The Situation in Crimea is Spiraling Out of Control The Ukraine War is About to Get MUCH Worse for Russia Putin Just Had His Worst Day of the Entire War Sweden Just Dealt Russia a DEVASTATING Blow Russia’s New War Strategy is Already a MASSIVE Failure Russia Just Made The Most Desperate Move I've Ever Seen
my man I know Russia is struggling but you have to pace yourself, you blow all these titles now and what are you going to have left when the war continues three more months, this is like those Iranians who kept posting AI videos of Tel Aviv in flames back in March, exercise some restraint!
Literally this
By the way My Little Pony Generation 6 is imminent. Start making preparations.
not sure if this makes sense but "being a billionaire is reasonable market compensation for making a useful product" seems to me like it might be making the mistake leftists are often accused of doing around here - treating investments and capital in net worth as if they were personal spending money?
it also just. kind of seems like a weird read of motivation. people do plenty of innovation and organization leadership for some but vastly less profit, even if we are just talking about the personal spending money?

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Elon Musk,
I am so, so sorry for what you are going through. Losing your status as the world's only trillionaire must be a challenging experience, and I wouldn't blame you being in a negative headspace right now. Keep your head up! It will get better!
If every American donated just 600 dollars we could get him back up to the trillion he deserves.
Elon Musk,
I am so, so sorry for what you are going through. Losing your status as the world's only trillionaire must be a challenging experience, and I wouldn't blame you being in a negative headspace right now. Keep your head up! It will get better!
It always hurts to see a new mass delusion take root.
Cookie Monster is a charismatic speaker and his well-known history credits him, but his inability to compromise and obsession with turning every event into part of the om-nom-nomicause has made most of his recent contributions crumble
A never ending pasta pass perhaps is wasted on my ass, for as you know I don't eat meat so options here are quite petite. Despite it all I won't neglect to gorge myself on sweet spaghet'.

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WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK
Everyone now has explosive diarrhea but they still haven't brought the ATHF episode where Master Shake gets bitten by a radioactive black man back to HBO Max. What the fuck was even the point of this whole "post-woke" thing.
My dermatologist's office plays the Jeffersons in the waiting room. Two thoughts:
I'm always struck by how well the show holds up. It's funny!
Heh they're doing politics of the moment with zero population growth. 70s was wild
They have an episode where one of George's childhood friends has transitioned into a woman, played by a cis woman, and she gives a very straightforward and progressive explanation of what being transgender is and why she transitioned while he does like 20 prat falls and spit takes in a row around a hotel room without responding to her a single time.
Fiction loves to be like "She never spoke above a whisper, and everyone leaned in to hear what she had to say because it was so important" but in real life if you speak very quietly you will get some combination of "ignored" and "told to speak louder because it's annoying how nobody can hear you"
This happens a lot in movies. People speak in whispers, talk extremely slowly, or don't respond to someone for long periods of time. I remember being pissed about it when watching Blade Runner 2049 as a teenager. People kept waiting too long to answer a question. In real life the first person would repeat themselves at that point.
Searching for "Blade Runner 2049" on youtube confirms to me I was right. Look how barred out these people act.
When I read things in Spanish I often have a problem where I look up words I don't know, but I don't know the English word they translate to either. This passage from Borges has been kicking my ass so bad:
"Cuando, en 1874, murió de una viruela negra, no había visto jamás una montaña ni un pico de gas ni un molino. Tampoco una ciudad. En 1849, fue a Buenos Aires con una tropa del establecimiento de Francisco Xavier Acevedo; los troperos entraron en la ciudad para vaciar el cinto; Cruz, receloso, no salió de una fonda en el vecindario de los corrales."
In this passage, there are only two individual words I felt I couldn't decipher the meaning of: molino (which turns out to mean windmill), and fonda (which turns out to be a kind of small restaurant). Nevertheless, I had absolutely no idea what nearly any of this meant. To my eyes, I read this as:
"When, in 1874, he died of a black virus, he had never seen a mountain nor a gas pick nor a molino. Nor a city. In 1849 he went to Buenos Aires with a troop established by Francisco Xavier Acevedo; the troops entered the city to empty the belt; Cruz, suspicious, didn't leave the fonda in the neighborhood of the corrals."
What the fuck is a gas pick? I ask google translate, and it translates it as "gas peak". Thanks a fucking lot. And what does it mean to empty the belt? What's the neighborhood of the corrals? I put the whole passage into google translate and get something completely different from my own reading:
"When he died of black smallpox in 1874, he had never seen a mountain, a gas jet, or a windmill. Nor a city. In 1849, he went to Buenos Aires with a drove of cattle from Francisco Xavier Acevedo’s ranch; the drovers went into the city to spend their earnings, but Cruz, wary, never left an inn in the stockyard district."
Fuck me. He was a cattle driver? I thought he was a soldier, like his father. I guess earlier the story compared him to "gauchos idénticos a él", so it would make sense he's a literal gaucho, though I assumed the word was just used to mean "gentleman". I guess "tropa", in addition to its primary meaning, also refers to a herd of cattle, here called a "drove" of cattle, driven by "drovers" rather than drivers. The relationship between tropa and troperos here is clear enough given this I guess. "Vaciar el cinto" is clearly a colloquial term for spending money. I guess at some point in the history of either Spain or Argentina people used to keep money in their belts. Upon reflection it becomes clear that "corrales" doesn't mean corals (corales) but is instead related to the English verb "to corral" as in to corral animals. It's the corraling neighborhood, AKA the stockyard district. RAE doesn't give "Establecimiento" the additional meaning of "ranch", but I don't think my initial reading of "del establecimiento de" meaning "established by" was correct. I think it is referring to ranch in the sense of "local de comercio", and you just have to tell by context that the particular commercial estate in question is a ranch. This annoys me because I already know two Spanish words for ranch and would've understood this if Borges had used either of them.
As for a gas jet (yet another translation given by google translate was "gas derrick"), it's clearly a machine used for mining that's powered by gasoline. Googling "pico de gas" gives you the wikipedia page for "pico del gas", meaning "peak gas", so it's clearly not a very common term nor does it describe a very common thing.
And with that, I have successfully read three sentences of a short story. When I have kids I'm raising them bilingual. They're never gonna have to go through this shit. They're gonna cheat by acquiring all this in their critical period.
How Spanish speakers talk on the internet: Nadie entiende lo que está haciendo The Rock. Se cargó el snyderverse y ahora los live action de Disney.
How Spanish speakers talk in books: Prófugo, hubo de guarecerse en un fachinal leñoso. Escudriñó la prosapia de las chajás y los esmedregales, aunque fuera baladí.
How Spanish speakers talk in real life: oaaeoeaeaieaiaooiieeaeue

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Squidward
gay
straight
bisexual
I just came from my fucking asshole and the water pressure in my apartment broke. I have no water. Had to just give my hands penis and asshole a few wipe-downs with some paper towels. Thank GOD I'm not employed right now.