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Y’ever read something and have understanding that has eluded you interminably suddenly stop, curl up, and snuggle neatly into a fold in your brain because a new way way opened to it?
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he was there during siege of the North. he infiltrated the spirit oasis. he has an uncle who studies spirits and the spirit world. he watched the sky go dark then the moon suddenly reappear like everyone else in the entire world did. and most importantly he watched zhao get eaten by a giant godzilla fish spirit.
Also, Iroh was there? He literally watched Sokka make out with the moon spirit. And you want to tell me that a romantic sap like him would not have immediately told Zuko about this romantic tragedy? Please, Zuko has known about this for ages, he just knows that this is not an acceptable situation in which to say “yeah, I know.”
Have you ever wondered which Intrepid Hero plays a divorced character most often? No, you haven't, because we all know it's Lou. but here's the breakdown anyway!
First, we need to define what makes a character divorced. Characters must meet at least one of these criteria:
Literally divorced. What it says on the tin. Example: Kingston Brown
Catastrophic breakup. End of a close relationship (could be romantic or platonic) that is important to the character(s) and the story of the season. Example: Monty LaMontgommery
Should be divorced. Narratively significant relationship that is clearly not going well. Example: Amethar Rocks.
Marital troubles. Interpersonal conflict not quite to the point of "should be divorced" but seems to be heading in that direction. Example: LaVonte Worthy
NOT qualifications for divorced status:
kind of a divorced vibe. this is to avoid having to deal with Every Zac Character.
Platonic relationship are included because you can't tell me that whatever is happening in Cloudward Ho is less divorced than Kugrash and his unnamed wife. i forgot Kugrash was divorced but goddamn do i remember Lou and Brennan shouting at each other.
The Intrepid Heroes from least to most divorced:
Siobhan Thompson: 0%
Siobhan has 10 player characters (counting Misty/Rowan as one) across all Dimension 20 seasons, and 0 are divorced! While Van's relationship with Comfrey is significant, she seemed to leave Comfrey on better terms than the others and was quick to come around on helping her. Pete and Rowan's breakup also doesn't meet the "catastrophic" qualifier imo. (also i haven't watched TUC2 so let me know about Iga if needed)
Emily Axford: 0%?
Emily has 8 PCs across D20 and 0 divorces. The closest she comes to being divorced is Sofia Bicicleta, when Sofia believes Dale left her for Isabella Infierno. This is resolved by episode 9 of season 1, so I'm not sure I'd count it, but if you want to give it a half-point and call this 6% or something that'd be reasonable. Emily's second most divorced character is Marya, for Comfrey reasons. However, her conflict with Comfrey is secondary to her feelings about Marya's death, so I'm not counting it either.
Zac Oyama: 18%
Zac has 11 PCs (counting Skip/Norman as one) and 2 are divorced. Daisuke is literally divorced, and Colin Provolone's relationship with Delissandro Katzon is. it simply has to be included. Zac plays a lot of characters with sort of a divorced energy– if you told me Zaeth, Norman, Cumulous, or even Lapin had a messy separation in their past I'd buy it immediately, but it's not in the show so they don't count.
Ally Beardsley: 27%
Ally has 11 characters and 3 qualify as divorced. Kristen moves from "marital troubles" in Sophomore Year to "catastrophic breakup" in Junior Year, HJ is experiencing "marital troubles", and Lucienne Rex counts as Margaret's "catastrophic breakup". Lars Vandenchomp would be divorced if Ally and Grant did a little more with the Sherlock/Watson relationship in Mice & Murder but he survives for now.
Brian Murphy: 29%
Murph has 7 PCs throughout D20 seasons and 2 are divorced. Murph is the only Intrepid Hero who's never played in a sidequest, so his low total character count bumps him up in the ranking despite how rarely he plays a relationship drama arc. Kugrash is literally divorced, and Gerard should be divorced. Like Zac, Murph sometimes plays guys with a divorced vibe, but no significant past relationships.
Lou Wilson: 50%
Lou has played 10 characters across D20 and a staggering 5 of them are divorced. He's the inspiration for this study. A master of relationship conflict across all four categories, so much so that I used him as the example. His fifth divorced character (also previously mentioned) is Deli, whose catastrophic breakup with Colin reverberated through the fabric of Calorum, causing a butterfly effect that led to all of Amethar's relationships being the way they are.
Season and setting statistics: (IH seasons only, settings can include sidequests but will only count IH characters in character total)
The most divorced season in terms of canon divorces is Unsleeping City 1, with 2 canonically divorced PCs and Sofia's temporary separation from Dale.
In terms of setting, Cloudward Ho is the most divorced, with 2*/6 player characters. City Council of Darkness also is at 2/6, but with fewer distinct relationship conflicts. Worth noting Calorum has 3/10 IH divorces and Unsleeping City has 2*/8 due to multiple seasons & PC turnover.
(* = previously discussed ambiguous cases)
Let me know if I've missed anything significant, or if you want to argue for a different set of qualifications or anything like that. This has been the divorce survey.
the avatar movies are crazy bc "what if colonizers literally inhabited and puppeteered the bodies of indigenous peoples in order to exploit their homeland" sounds like the premise of some sort of anticolonial horror film, like specifically the kind of thing that would be commenting on self-indigenization among white settlers, but because it's James Cameron his whole takeaway from that premise is "it would be preddy cool"
actually sorry. the takeaway is also "the white settler possessing an indigenous body would actually be extremely good, perhaps even The Best, at being indigenous, and he would become their Leader"
You gotta read and watch some old books and films that aren’t 100% modern politically correct. I’m not saying you should agree with everything in them but you need to learn where genres came from to understand what those genres are doing today and where media deconstructing old tropes is coming from.
Also, more often than you might think, they’re not actually promoting bigotry so much as “didn’t consider all the implications of something” or just used words that were polite then but considered offensive now.
When we choose to avoid history because it's Problematic or Says Bad Things, we are choosing to divorce ourselves from understanding how we came from that time to this one, which makes it even more likely for the cycle to repeat, with no one but a few people with shelves of old books aware that it's happened before.
and this shit's important. Media from the past tells us how people from the past acted and thought and behaved.
Plus, a lot of these media pieces were socially acceptable and/or progressive for their time. For example, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, while it contains a lot of words and ideas that are offensive now, was very progressive for its time. The book is a statement piece for how a young man who's grown up in a racist environment, with no words to explain himself other than racist and bigoted ones, decides that the whole system is shit and he's not going to follow those rules any more. So not reading or engaging with it because it uses the n-word a lot really misses the point.
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And I worked with a man called Squidward. And he was a Protestant man, but we were the best of friends. But by God, he was crabid as a bag of cats. He was an auld grump. And he'd be big into the flutes and the Oboes and things like that. He lived in a big stone head.
"drug seeking" as a patient label one of the most dogshit stupid concepts of all time. fuuuck everybody look out this guy came in here expecting medical treatment. better watch out in case he goes to a restaurant and starts food seeking
love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.
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