let's get this bread

Good Omens 2 feels like fanfiction not because of its contents but because the author is here on tumblr posting things like "hehe not sorry >:)" and getting hate anons

[ID: White text the reads, “Dear July, be kind.” Behind it is a fluffy white cat sleeping contentedly amongst grass and clover. /end ID]

My dentist never gives me feetie warmers.

You’re probably not likely to claw the dentist’s face off.

You don’t know that

god my neighbor just called me and she’s like… is this your chicken in our driveway… like who else has a chicken in this neighborhood yes it’s my chicken… so i get over there and kylo hen is chilling in their driveway eating some specs and stuff and there’s this actual crowd of people around her and i’m like… hi sorry mb let me get her… and oh my god… they’re like do you need us to call someone?? should we get help?? how should we do this?? do you need a net? like bitch it’s a chicken not a fucking komodo dragon. so i just… i was kind of joking around so i crouched down and patted my thighs and all the chickens are trained to come to me on sight because me = food… so i got down there and went “here girl!! come here!!” and the chicken comes running over and this group of actual adult ass individuals were staring at me like i was the fucking pied piper… and i didn’t know what to say…. so i just kind of walked back to my yard with the chicken following me and none of them moved or said a damn word and i think i literally just convinced them this chicken is trained like a dog…