previously the-goofiest-tour-guide

i like being a lesbian and all, but holy shit, men are so cool. i hope all men reading this have a wonderful day.

i like being gay and all, but holy shit, women are so cool!!!! i hope all women reading this have a wonderful day as well!!!!!!!!!

hey guys, quick reminder! this post is about uplifting other people!!! tags like 'ugh, but men are gross lol' or 'op has never met a man' are not welcome and will recieve an insta block! men are cool! women are cool! thank you for coming to my fucking ted talk! :-)

so im having a piss in the bathroom (where its supposed to go…) and these vaping godless wenches think the sound of my tinkle warrants a giggle. does anyone know how to get me in contact with some powerful etsy witches for a cheap and swift vengeance

Okay and on this note, does anyone know any artists that have cute Pokemon merch like this? Or more examples of official merch? I just want to see more stuff like this

You’re really good at origami holy sh

i learned it specifically to make these for this exact situation 

Aren’t you the same bitch that gave your sister $100 dollars in nickels?

same bitch

Yeah, neither of these things happened 👍🏼

that's goddess pose

the first thing you'll learn about me is that I'm a funny guy

the second thing you'll learn about me is that I'm always in some kind of nightmarish torture hell dimension

@sexy-people-contests-2026 you

People are like “it’s so beautiful no clouds at all” it could use a little clouds if I had to be honest.

heat so bad i had a dream there was a cool breeze

It's not 'understanding something about risk that no one else does' it's 'is able to screw up constantly without facing any actual consequences, unlike every other player at the table.'