slithered here from eden

So like an hour ago I just lear🪨︵︵ned that— what the fuck was that. Someone just skipped a rock across my post did you see that

My fake son learned the alphabet today. I’m so proud of him, in theory.

when i was a kid my parents bought me an inflatable doll of the Scream by Edvard Munch (??) that was significantly taller than i was at the time and i used to slow-dance with it and pretend it was my boyfriend. It had its hands attached to its head obviously so it felt like he was always a bit horrified to be forced to dance with me

I love this website I love it when people tell us what's wrong with them

You're full of shit, Hawaiians are just able to levitate coconut milk.

horses cant scratch themselves but humans cant go fast. we support this legandary partnership

agnostic horse: we just dont know where scratch posts come from

i know medical reports have to write things this way, but when i see "dull mood, denies smoking" on my doctor's visit summary i can't help but hear "boring bitch and a croaking liar"

one of the medical reports for my broken leg called me attractive and pleasant, and I haven't let myself read another medical report since because I want to maintain a Schrödinger's cat type situation where the reports might say 'still attractive, would fuck' or they might say 'ugly now, aged poorly' and I'll never know because I refuse to let the wave function collapse into a single reality

This is the Carrie Fisher post of body positivity reblog for a chocolate bar from her fridge

sorry for romanticizing the mundane but the fact that laughter is infectious is so incredible to me. like yeah it's just a reaction to stimuli but the way it feels to hear someone laugh and feel yourself compelled to share that joy is really something. and it's so simple and requires no skill but it's so special and important to me.

OH. can’t believe I forgot about such an important part of art history my apologies