DANCE IN THE DARK!

Being a calm, gentle, non-reactive person is really hard work, which is probably why many people are none of these things. Personally I think it’s worth it but sometimes one does want to just roll around on the floor wailing at the top of one’s lungs

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

well-written women who narratively suck are like crack cocaine to me. hello shitty little woman do you need some crumbs of love that you've clearly never been given? lol

touch starved infant leaves hospital after contactless delivery

that baby went straight through the hoop. nothing but net

swish

a lot of you really need to internalize that acting avoidant isn't cute at all and that it will cost you experiences and life outcomes if you don't change course

squidward hospitalized for covid and they put him in the squid ward. the nurse is always coming at him, she’s always moving squidward. he can’t escape the room, they got a witch to put up a squid ward. he belongs to the hospital now, they’re calling him their squid ward.

i didn’t know perez hilton was a stage name that he purposefully modelled after paris hilton’s real name i thought she just organically had an evil gay wario or something

In hindsight being a “gifted kid” is so funny. You have substantial difficulties with socializing and fine motor skills but we’re going to ignore that because you’re really good at reading chapter books

okay but how do we feel about sucking on the fingers of the hand that feeds you

I love thinking I'm a hater and then meeting a real hater and going wow that does not look fun actually. Going back to my lukewarm hater ways. Performative haterdom. I couldn't name five hater bands.

maybe your cat is meowing bc it wants a cigarette