Haunting in perpetuity

Got woken up at 6AM by a phone call from a friend stranded in Montana because of the heat wave and almost no cell service because of their crap provider.

OhSoThat'sHowIt'sGonnaBe.jpg

Ok.

I somehow summon a week's worth of spoons and in less than 30 minutes and 5 phone calls, get them

A hotel

An appointment with a mechanic from 2 states away

A perscription refilled from 2 states away

and A Pizza

Go me.

But then it's 8AM and there are unscheduled live humans at the door and while EVERGENCY MODE is still on, I have already blown through a ton of spoons, and also probably shouldn't meet whoever it is wearing just a pair of bootyshorts that say "CRYPTID" in Gothic Font on my ass.

So I greet them in those shorts and a T-shirt that I manage to put on both inside out and backwards

#nailedit

It is, Fortunately, not the mormons.

it is, Unfortunately, two UPS guys trying to deliver my other in-house friend's new phone except the new guy doesn't know how to operate the "sign for package" device, and the old guy that's supposed to be mentoring him is like, 92, deaf as a post, and doesn't actually know how to operate the device either.

by the way

it is already

over 100 out

it takes almost 30 minutes to sign for the phone

when i get back inside, i discover that apparently the Corgi has learned how to open his kennel from the inside because he is now out of the kennel and waiting for me to come in.

he also has cat litter all over his face because while he was waiting for me he also learned how to open the baby gate to the cat's room and help himself to a cat shit breakfast.

He'll be fine

He's a cattle dog, they're legally required to have at least 1 really disgusting snack they love.

but

more to the point

i have no idea at what point he learned to open his kennel from the inside

has he been staying there out of politeness this whole time??

And

I got other shit to do today.

namely.

I'm seeing a realator

The Devils most pathetic yet effective demons

I get a reminder text that I have an appointment with her

at least

I think that's what it is because what she sends me is: "🏡⏰12:00 ❔"

With the time typed in the middle like that.

She is, according to her profile, at least 80.

so I reply "😎👍"

and then she sends me a string of GODDAMN POST-MODERN EMOJI HEIROGLYPHICS THAT TAKE UP MY ENTIRE SCREEN.

She's on an iPhone so half of them don't even translate across platforms

It takes me half an hour and three different software programs and goddamn wingdings to translate, but she has sent me the address and rules about masking and not wearing shoes inside.

in emoji

instead of like

literally any other format

I am

FASCINATED

It's not fairies

It's Doris.

I'm going to see a prospective house because due to various circumstances, I'm probably going to be moving to the other side of a major metropolitan area in the next few months, but that's not important.

I get to the house

I get a text from the realtor

The realtor is not the person who has been texting me in emoji

The person texting me in emoji is the homeowner, who the realtor says will let me in if I want, she's running late.

Sure

Why not

I put Herschel on leash and go to the front door

As much crime as he commits at home Herschel The Hanukkah Goblin has terrific public manners, and is Very Cute so I'm about 90% sure the emoji fairy is going to let me take him through the house

Door opens.

90-something blue haired old lady with a spine like a question mark and glasses that could be used as telescope lenses opens the door.

"OH [Gallus]! How lovely to see you!"

This woman clearly knows me because she remembers my anniversary was last week and that my sister is back from Australia.

Problem is

I know about 500 geriatric ladies with blue hair, scoliosis and extreme prescription glasses, because I am a member of 2 quilt guilds, the scientific illustration guild, the rocky mountain SCA and stagehand for three different theater companies, so I know everyone's grandma and fuck me if I can tell them apart.

Wait

There's a quilt in thekitchen, visible front hall

I don't know faces but apparently I can recognize applique techniques at 40paces.

"...Doris? From SAQA?"

"YES! Who is this handsome little man?"

Herschel speaks enough English to know that "handsome little man" means "this person will feed me milk bones and bacon if I'm cute enough"

Immediately does a Sit Pretty and Shake.

Doris is bewitched

This is fine, but I also know I'm about to severely disappoint the realtor because there is no way in hell I'm moving into this House.

Because

The reason Doris is moving out is that her neighbor is a Cunt Magnifique and has been harassing Doris and everyone else to form an HOA and "improve the quality of our residents" because this woman has nothing better to do than be a racist-ass busy body, and recently, she's set her husband, a county sheriff on Doris, trying to bully her into signing paperwork and threatening her with legal action and writing her up for bullshit property violations

Ain't putting up with that shit

And neither is Doris, so she's selling all her shit and moving out to live with her grandchildren in Santa Monica.

But she's technologically impaired, so the only indication that there is an estate sale happening is a small paper sign in her front yard.

"Doris." I say, as Herschel makes himself comfortable on the couch for belly rubs and pieces of ham. "Did you tell SAQA or FRCC or anyone on Facebook that you're having the sale?"

"oh, I don't know how to do all that!" She sighs. "I tried to call the Denver post but they just put me on hold for ages..."

"Watch Herschel for 20 minutes and he's only allowed to have that one piece of ham."

Pics of everything

Address, time and pics to Facebook, both quilt guilds she's in, two more I have contacts for, nextdoor, and the local SCA discord for good measure.

It's 12 minutes and Herschel persuaded her to give him at least three pieces of ham.

He is petitioning for a fourth by doing a little puppy dance on the living room rug.

"OK, that's enough ham, people will be here in 10. Where is your cash box?"

Because apparently I'm running an estate sale today too.

It's fine :)

There's about 7 minutes of quiet.

Then

They DESCEND

The first on the scene is DeeDee, who doesn't believe in speed limits. She's arrived with a horse trailer. I remember that she is also moving.

"HI DORIS SWEETHEART WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL I HAD NO IDEA THIS WAS TODAY I WAS GOING TO TAKE ALL THIS TO THE GOODWILL HERE LET ME SET UP ON YOUR LAWN "

DeeDee is 73, and has a special spiritual bond with Hello Kitty. She weighs like 98lbs, dresses exclusively in neon pink sanrio clothes and the kind of eye makeup drag queens aspire to.

She also speaks non-stop at a volume normally associated with jet engines.

Half the horse trailer is already spread out on the lawn.

Doris is putting price stickers on stuff

Herschel is trying to tear open a bag of cotton batting.

This, and the arrival of approximately 56 minivans, five more trucks with horse trailers and Corgi Excitement Screaming alert Cunt Magnifique that something is happening outside.

Madame saunters off her porch up to Doris and Demands to know what's happening, you're supposed to notify the neighborhood and get a permit to-"

Doris, surrounded by her pack of silver wolves, shouts. "OH HELLO! EVERYONE, THIS IS MARCIA. I'VE TOLD YOU ALL ABOUT MARCIA." >:)c

You know those high school house parties you see in movies, where the person invites only a few friends, but those friends call their friends, and those friends call THEIR friends and soon like 500 people show up to one house and someone calls the cops and that one John Mulaney sketch with "SCATTER!" happens?

Old people will 100% do this too, except instead of a house party it's an estate sale on a wednesday afternoon and when the cop shows up there are lawyers present and he is in DEEP SHIT because his wife just spent the afternoon admitting to doing a bunch of wildly illegal shit on tape.

So when we left off, the party had really started getting underway, because Marcia the Cunt Magnifique had decided to crash the estate sale and whine about "we're supposed to coordinate garage sales as a neighborhood" and "your friends are blocking traffic on this cul-de-sac while nobody is home" weh weh-

DeeDee is about ready to throw hands but she is nowhere near the most dangerous of the Silver Silver Wolves.

That's Dr. Ruth.

Dr. Ruth turned 99 this year and went paragliding for her birthday

So you understand just how hard she goes

Dr. Ruth sort of hobbles over and point-blank asks "So I understand you've been trying to start a homeowner's association?" :3c

Marcia

Entirely misunderstanding how much danger she's in

Starts enumerating the TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS of trying to start one, because SOME PEOPLE DON'T RESPECT AUTHORITY and all the paperwork and talking to people and she even had to ask HER HUSBAND. A SHERRIF. To go around and hand people stuff to sign.

Some people, right?

Dr. Ruth nods. Some people. She agrees.

You know.

Her son is a lawyer.

Why doesn't she give him a call?

Marcia, a Moron: Oh that'd be great!

Dr. Ruth, hobbling back to Doris: "Don't worry. David will handle this."

Meanwhile

The Friends-Of-Friends and the Friends-Of-Friends-Of-Friends are arriving, lured in because they heard the words "Longarm Sewing Machine" and "Hand-made quilts"

Various factions present include but are far from limited to: -Probably Six Quilt Guilds -The Denver Art League -The Denver Leather League -The Vikings -The Klingons -The Colorado Wild Game Share -A Pack of Scientific Illustrators -A Pack of Assorted Scientists they brought with them -The Sheep Lesbians -The Horse Lesbians -Three Extremely Competent Finnish People (My Scientific Illustration Professor and her sisters) who immediately take over the estate sale and turn it into an auction to maximize profit and keep the taxes in order.

Someone brings two additional Corgi called "Cap" and "Bucky"

They are Pembroke Corgi, and weigh about 21lbs apiece

Herschel is a Cardigan Welsh Corgi and weighs 42lbs because he's hug even for a Cardigan, and is Delighted with his New Minions.

They worship him as a God and follow him around so every time he sticks his face in something two smaller corgi faces immediately follow, like some kind of adorable cerberus.

Pelts and meat shares are being traded out of the backs of trucks and vans

Someone is making bratwurst.

Intrigued by the Brouhaha, Doris' neighbors emerge.

They are also Geriatric and very nervous, because Marcia has been harassing them too.

They are telling this to the members of these factions that are also lawyers.

There are at least 5 of them so far and David isn't even here yet.

I realize my realtor isn't even here.

I decide to text her.

She is somewhere in the crowd and having a nervous breakdown because She's SO LATE!!!

Ma'am.

It's 103 out.

I was just handed a freshly grilled Brat

Some bitch is incriminating herself on the lawn.

Nothing scheduled is happening.

Come sit in the yard and watch the Corgis play on the Palyskool plastic slide set. They're disassembling it like tiny furry engineers.

Have a bratwurst.

One of the Klingons appears, having physically carried my realtor through the crowd, and gently deposits her on the lawn before handing her a Bratwurst.

Diane, the Realtor, is not much older than I am, and from the preppie swaths of society that has "Never had a dog growing up" and "Didn't Know People Could Just. Make. Blankets?" and "What is this? It's like a hot dog but spicy?"

She is having a LEARNING EXPERIENCE.

One of the Horse Lesbians comes over and compliments Diane on her Dior handbag.

Diane thanks her ans compliments the apparently expensive brand scarf she has on. Do you. Know all these people?

Horse Lesbian explains that she's part of the SCA, and what that is, and that why yes. Her girlfriend Tasha is an armorer. Yes like for knights.

More Livestock Lesbians assemble.

They are pulling off shirts to show off livestock and battle scars, and biceps.

Diane is LEARNING A LOT TODAY.

I am just getting everyone's contact info and making sure Herschel does not consume his weight in bratwurst.

BWOOP!

Uh-Oh.

Marcia's Husband is here.

I step out front.

He has used the siren to largely part the crowd and pull into his driveway but it has closed around him and there is No Escape.

He starts huffing and puffing about blocked traffic and permits and the like, but this is not his usual Can-Bully-Without-Consequences crowd.

These are Grandmas.

Veterans of the 60's protest front who never let up.

He's starting to turn bright red and looks like he's about to cry and I've got my phone out to record whatever Incident is about to occur.

-And a Mercedes pulls up.

It's David.

Dr. Ruth's son.

The Lawyer.

And I emphasize that The because David is not some mere ambulance chaser.

David is the guy that the state sends to prosecute Corporate Fraud and Organized Crime and Other State Departments.

David was part of the team that took down the CO Branch of the KKK.

David is all of 5'4", very round and a balding little man that looks like the Dictonary Definition of "Nebbish" that moves with such intense confidence and authority that he pretty much has the Pillar Men Theme Blasting behind him at all times.

So when he and three other lawyers from the state's office step out of the car

Mr. Sherrif goes from red to while like color-changing octopus and I am like 50% sure he shit himself.

Because what he and Marcia have been doing is Very, Very, Very, VERY, Fucking Illegal.

"mArCiA!" he garbles. "sHuT tHe fUcK uP!"

Marcia is standing in the middle of the cul-de-sac, having spent the last 3 hours recounting to anyone who will listen about the 'measures she's had to take' and now the 5 lawyers that were here are delightedly handing over the paperwork that she had forced on Doris and her Neighbors, and pointing at all the doorbell cameras and witnesses out to the state's top prosecutor.

Friends

I ugly laughed.

FOUR HOURS LATER: -Auction wrapped up with a solid $40K to Doris' name plus pending sales on some of her larger furniture and antiques

Plus whatever David gets in damages from the county sherrif's office.

Marcia and husband are fucking busted

Herschel spent all afternoon running around and eating snacks and is passed out on the floor

Diane is "meeting up with" one of the Horse Lesbians next week.

The sewing machine went to someone else but I did open my purse and found out Doris or someone shoved a bunch of cash in there.

last summer my friend who is an amazingly talented artist and i were in this super tall building, and she’s in a wheelchair and i’m pushing her around the room. it’s an art exhibit and some of her art was chosen to be showcased there and so it’s all fine and dandy until suddenly an alarm starts going off

a FIRE ALARM

everyone starts running for the stairs and my friend just looks at me with this forlorn look on her face

“i can’t go down the stairs”

but i’m a stubborn bitch “i’ll carry you”

“what about my chair? it’s too expensive for me to be able to get another one if i can’t get this one back”

“i’ll carry that too”

and i did. we went to the stairs (by then most people from our floor were gone) and i lifted her up in a fireman’s carry over my shoulder and then lifted her chair up and used the ridiculous amount of adrenaline that was coursing through my veins to make it down approximately 20 half-flights of stairs until we met some people exiting lower floors, one of which who kindly took the chair. I changed positions so i was holding my friend bridal-style which was, somehow, easier and the person who took her wheelchair (with her permission to handle it of course) accompanied me to the ground floor and then out the doors

basically there is no real protocol for people who can’t use the stairs in an emergency. it’s up to the people with them, if anyone, to help them or the person to somehow make it down the stairs alone, unassisted

thank fuck that it was just a faulty alarm system, because if i was unable to carry her down those stairs and the building was on fucking fire???? then i don’t know what would have happened to her, but i don’t think it would have been very good.

the fire marshal hemmed and hawed for a while and then said to take the elevator- you’re supposed to leave it free for the fire department to use and they want able-bodied people out fast not waiting for elevators. if the fire alarm has just gone off the building probably hasn’t suffered enough structural damage to make using the elevator dangerous, and modern elevator wells are heavily reinforced. many large and high-trafficked buildings on my campus have fire rated elevators that link in with the fire alarm system so they won’t let you off on a floor with a possible fire. 

if the elevator isn’t working, wait in the stairwell and call the fire department to let them know where you are. modern stairwells are also heavily reinforced- it might not be pleasant but modern building code usually requires fire-resistant stairwell doors in office and big residential buildings, also to help firefighters get in and out safely. older buildings’ stairwells may or may not be retrofitted with fire-resistant doors but a stairwell is generally the safest place to wait if you can’t get out. 

Understand that once you enter the elevator, you could POTENTIALLY be taking your life into your hands there.

It is NOT LIKELY, to be perfectly honest. It’s only in a pretty catastrophic scenario - think the Twin Towers, USA, on September 11th - that the elevators will be compromised and out of service. But there is a NOT ZERO PERCENT CHANCE and you need to understand that and accept it.

As for leaving the elevators free for the firefighters, okay, here’s the deal. Unless your nearest fire station is literally right next door? Your first on scene fire truck is NOT likely to be there on scene and needing that elevator before you get to the ground. It takes us TIME to find the address, gear up, and drive to the building. Then we need to hoof it into where the elevators even ARE, so YOU HAVE TIME to use the elevator to get down to the ground floor... BUT ONLY IF THERE’S NOT A RUSH ON THE ELEVATOR! And THAT is WHY we don’t tell people this shit. That’s WHY we tell people to NEVER USE THE ELEVATOR... because every self-entitled asshole will use it because they don’t feel like walking, and then put YOU in danger by delaying the elevator’s arrival to you.

IF, however, the elevator IS compromised, or you just can’t get it to come for you, or whatever, and you either don’t have anyone with you who has the adrenaline fueled BALLS to be able to toss you over their shoulder and hoof it down the stairs with you - because, let’s face it, that is RARE AS FUCK, then HERE IS WHAT YOU DO:

You call 911 and tell the call taker that you are in the building that has a fire alarm going off, and you are not able to evacuate because of a physical disability, and you tell them what floor you are on, and EXACTLY what stairwell you are waiting at. And the very FIRST thing that the firefighters are going to do once they arrive, if it is, indeed, a REAL emergency, and not a false alarm, is come get your ass and bring you down. Whether that means carrying you down the stairs, or whether that means locking out the elevators so that no one else can override them and coming to get you themselves, they WILL come get you FIRST THING if it is a real event. And if it is a false alarm? You will probably be the first person who is not involved with the building to know, because the call-taker is going to stay on the line with you until you are under someone’s care and out of danger, or until the scene has been sorted out as real or false, and you are out of danger that way.

These are pretty standard operations in the fire service throughout the United States. There may be some minor variations based on specific municipalities, but, for the most part, this is pretty typical: LIFE BEFORE PROPERTY. So, as long as SOMEONE knows where you are - hence why you call 911 - Firefighters will come get you. You are NOT alone, and you have NOT been abandoned. I PROMISE. It’s like, our whole reason for doing the shit we do: to save lives and to break shit. Sometimes, we get lucky enough to do both at the same time.

High rise fires suck ass, and I always hated them. But the very FIRST thing I asked anytime we got one was if we had “any entrapments” - which is what we call anyone who could not self-evacuate for ANY reason. We ain’t leaving you behind. And yes, your friend who doesn’t have the stamina to carry you down can stay with you, too. Because I would never ask that of someone, honestly. 

If disabled and the fire alarm is just happened, you're allowed to take the elevators down but there's a small possibility you could get stuck if the elevators are compromised.

If you can't use the elevators or don't want that risk, go to the stairwell which is reinforced against fire, close the doors, and call 911 to let them know you are in that particular stairwell and can't get down.

Fire will strongly prioritize finding and rescuing people who might be still in the building during any actual structure fire. This is a major component of their job.

Gav’s Tavern Here’s the culmination of what I’ve been working on for the past couple months. It’s different from what I usually do. Also it was a lot of work, but I think I’m happy with it.

-but my house has a porch on the second story that affords me a terrific view of my neighborhood and the Colorado Front Range and I was partaking of some peace before the 4th Of July Finger-Loss Festivities begin, and I have had a

~*Spiritual Experience*~

I just watched my neighbor try to unload an actual wooden pallet that had to have been forklifted into the back of his insecurity pickup worth of fireworks.

Except that he does not have a forklift in his garage.

He does have so much sports memorabilia and cardboard boxes of unsold MLM Merchandise and patriotically themed camping gear and posters of women in bikinis and flags of suspect political organizations in his garage that there is only BARELY enough space for the fireworks and certainly none for his truck.

So he had to unload the individual boxes of recreational explosives from the back of his truck and stack them in the minimal space he had cleared by hand. This is a tedious and time-consuming process as this neighbor has purchased a wide variety of recreational and locally illegal explosives instead of many of just a few types, so the individual boxes are rather small.

He begins, and this is crucial to what happens next, by cutting apart the industrial-grade saran wrap his explosives dealer had so carefully wrapped his merchandise in, and discarded it unsecured on his lawn.

Where Outdoor Conditions sometimes happen.

But mortal hands build clever tools, and these last few hundred years I have lived in dread that they will break this, my sacred stone, the last link that preserves me, a faint shadow of a forgotten god. While my sacred stone stands, I do not, quite, fade away.

I am in a park, now, clipped and tamed, my forests long gone. But they landscape around me and my stone, admiring its beauty, so I do not complain. While they take pleasure in the stone, I am safe.

There is a playground a few lengths away, and the laughter and happy shrieking rouse me a little from my sleep. I watched over children, once. It’s nice to hear them again.

But I don’t truly awaken until the Offering is made.

Little hands touch my stone, with curiosity and a sort of reverence that only the very young feel now. For a child young enough the world is still a mystery, and even an ancient granite stone provokes wonder. So I stir, when she touches the stone, becoming hazily aware.

And then, solemnly, the child places a tiny colourful object in the roughly shaped alcove in the stone’s side, the place where offerings were laid two thousand years ago and more, and I awaken. Many people have put things in that alcove, of course… to take pictures, usually, these days, or putting a lost object where it will be seen. Merely to place an object in the alcove isn’t enough. A true offering is given as a gift, with intent.

As this is.

🎶One more thing's a glamour! Fae behavior!🎵

So some fanartist drew a “sexy” (read: booby) version of a (cartoon) character who is traditionally very non-sexualised. Fans of the character got mad about it because it’s kind of groundbreaking how that character is written and portrayed and this art totally ignores the entire point of the character. They demanded the art be deleted. In response to that other people said, well what the fanartist did may be distateful but they have every right to draw what they’re into. The two sides fight for days and each starts a harassment campaign and even report their “opponents’” accounts.

So far so typical. But things eventually come to a head and they decide that this will be settled by votes - not through a poll. Through donations to a children’s education charity via each side’s portal. Whoever can get the highest amount of donation wins.

-a useless dump of BNHA trivia on Names and speculations on the future plot based on them.

BEWARE- LONG-ASS POST AHEAD! MANGA SPOILERS AHEAD! BAT-SHIT CRAZY RANTING AHEAD!!!

(Part 1 : The Prototype/ Akatani Mikumo)

This is a post I have been meaning to make for months, but I had no outlet until recently where I joined both tumblr and ao3. It has always been fascinating to me how Horikoshi sensei names his characters. The amount of thought that has been poured into them is astounding.

Today, dear folks I will tell you the reason why I was crying and screaming for two hours straight after reading the BNHA chapter that introduced BlackWhip and ultimately convinced me to create a tumblr for my headcanons and start writing a fanfic based on it.

Today is where we discuss the gift of genius that is Horikoshi Kohei (and the ultimate TROLL that this shy motherfucker really is; move over Tite Kubo we have a new king in the game)

Now we know that the proto of Midoriya Izuku was this edgy kid with a bad haircut called Akatani Mikumo ( 海谷 美雲). His childhood friend Gougou Katsuki, later Bakugou Katsuki, named him ‘Yamikumo’ (闇雲)

Let’s talk about…

Akatani Mikumo

谷- spells as 'tani’, meaning 'valley’ but it can also be read as 'Ya’. This explains the nickname 'Yamikumo’. This also comes in the 'ya’ of Midoriya

赤- spells as 'aka’; meaning red

海- spells as 'Mi’ meaning 'Sea’

雲- spells as 'Kumo’ meaning 'cloud’

'Red valley Sea Cloud’….. jesus christ on a tricycle… that’s a scenery in one frigging name 🤣

So basically Horikoshi changed the title from red to green (as midori means green, but you knew that) valley. And called him a beautiful lil scenery. Lol. ( He is beautiful, Horikoshi. So, so beautiful. )

anyway, moving on…

Let’s have a closer look at this little nickname which left me shooketh.

Yamikumo (闇雲)

闇- spells as 'yami’ meaning 'darkness.’

雲- same as before, means cloud

Now the name Yamikumo translates to 'dark cloud’, it literally means 'blindly’ or 'recklessly’ hinting that proto-Katsuki nicknamed him based on this exact trait of recklessness. Just as canon Katsuki named Izuku after his 'uselessness’

Side Point: This reminds me of the dark cloudy things we see in Izuku’s dream of OfA. (Quite a way to put that in, Horikoshi-sensei.)

“Well that’s pretty normal uptil now. We already know all this information. What’s the big issue here?”

Y-Yes, pl-please allow me t-to explain!

As with the meaning of 'Deku’ which has meanings beyond 'Dekiru’ (You can do it!) and 'Deku’ (useless, blockhead) ;and I will reveal in a shorter post later onwards.

The name Yamikumo too had a SECOND meaning.

Most Japanese people might be already familiar with these ulterior meanings of both nicknames but I have never seen a post on them so I just thought of putting up my own. (Fuck I am digressing again)

Okie, now back to NAME

’Yami’

Yami ('やみ) = dark

it is a straight forward, no-bullshit reference to the dark and edgy protagonist design. I believe Horikoshi called him 'Fiend Kid’ ?????? (Why give hime such a lame, try-hard edgy hero name, Horikoshi…just ….Why?). Obviously, Horikoshi meant our protagonist to have a darker past or cynical mannerisms as many of the blogs and fics portray.

But the problem I have here is with the name-

'Kumo’

It can mean several things depending on the different kanji/katakana/hiragana. But if you use good old Google translate (like moi did) you will arrive at THIS MEANING

くも- (hiragana) = Spider

クモ- (katakana) = Spider

a fucking 'SPIDER’ …

Now…many fans already know that Horikoshi sensei once said that Midoriya Izuku was based off Spiderman and it really shows in the chapters with his new quirk 'Black Whip’. What he should have also told us that he literally tried to name our protagonist with a name that has a double meaning of a fricking SPIDER.

This goddamn TROLL that Horikoshi Kohei is…ughh

((I screamed about this all night when I found, and went on a nerd-rage trying to explain this to my father, who btw, forgot for a minute that Japan is in the EAST. That is exactly how much people around me know about manga -that it’s from Japan and it comes from the East))**facepalms through the skull**

((CAN YOU IMAGINE MY PAIN?!))

Deku “デク”

Notice how Deku (デク) also has the 'ク’ katakana like in Kumo(クモ). It also means 'nine’. I find it really clever that this name both points to the number 9 as well as an insect with 8 legs (8 predecessors of OfA? hmm?)

So BASICALLYThe other meaning of 'Yamikumo’ can be ’Dark; Spider’

闇 の 蜘 蛛 - Spider of Darkness.

Now, NAME A FICTIONAL CHARACTER INSPIRED BY A DARK SPIDER POPULAR IN CONTEMPORARY CULTURE?

You know it, You have meme-d it, you drew and hit 'like’ on its fanart, wrote and read fanfics on it;

You made it the BNHA phenomena it became since the BlackWhip.

It’s none other than Spiderman’s-

“Venom”

It always puzzled me why Horikoshi-sensei didn’t use the name “Akatani Mikumo” instead of Midoriya Izuku. These are a few (Crack and Not-so-Crack) reasons I can think of-

The derivative nicknames impact the character. It doesn’t suit Deku’s (I can do it!!) lovely character over Yamikumo’s (Dark Cloud/Dark Spider) edgy one. But really this is a bullshit reason. The protag could have been edgy as hell and I would have still loved how awkward, self-sacrificing and dedicated he is. I am sure many will agree.

I understand that the friction between him and Katsuki over a nickname wouldn’t have happened if he chose the proto name. But Horikoshi could have shown that in a different way - like more instances of the bullying. Instead Horikoshi CHOSE to change the protag’s name COMPLETELY to connect Katsuki to the protag by a damned nickname one way or another. (Horikoshi was basically bro-shipping these two even before we started Bakudeku 🤣)

Totally Crack Reason: Horikoshi probably saw this horseshit with Venom memes coming even before he started the first chapter of the manga. Imagine the meme-flood if he had chosen the name Akatani Mikumo (Yamikumo). But he 'Nope’d his way out of it early. Two hundred chapters later, we finally catch up on a joke he ultimately decided not to play.

WHAT THE FUCK, Horikoshi-sensei?!

Headcanon Time:

Now this is my belief (and a headcanon I have already put use to) that Our dear Cinnamon Roll Deku - WILL be controlled by an external agent (AfO?! maybe?!!) just like the Symbiote or Venom did. And he will have to fight it off. I have another reason to believe this which will be discussed in “Part 2: Deku” of this useless rant.

It makes sense to me since Deku is, otherwise, a character at complete development. The author needs a perfect character to handle the dark influence of whatever is coming in future chapters to handle it well. If the protagonist were a character with lesser development, the manga would take an even darker road that the show originally didn’t pack for. It’s target audience might be diverse but its still mainstream anime and won’t include too many disturbing details.

Yes, it deals with Bullying, Abuse, Domestic Abuse, Kidnapping, Human trafficking, Human Experimentation, Drug Use and lots of dark stuff but it has never delved deeply into it. Never. We see the fights, maybe a disturbing shadow play of a gruesome act; we see the aftermath but we dont see it actually happening. And I think, we never will because the editors and show producers know what kind of direction they want with this.

Deku’s character provides perfect ground for a collision of wills that is staple in shonen genre and bring out the 'Good vs Evil’ trope to a unanimous conclusion ('unanimous’ depending on how well Horikoshi writes, many mangaka botch the ending with a fine-ass plot, but I have to trust him. we will see how it goes)

Another hint to the 'Deku goes Dark’ has to be in THIS panel.

Notice how he says “I wasn’t afraid of this new power then”

It means Deku wasn’t afraid at that point in time but it can mean that he might have been afraid later on.

So, maaaaaybe, there is a possibility of Deku going “Dark Side”!?!

V!Deku: “Hmm? Someone called?”

Me: shit, he hawt…but…

NO, NOT THAT DARK.

D: If you insult Kacchan one more time Monoma…I wIlL eNd YoU

Monoma: *gulps*

Yep, something like this.

Even if he does go Dark in the manga, I am sure it will be something like Ninetails Naruto v Pain, Ichigo v Ulquiorra, etc etc.

But still it is really exciting!

Needless to say, In the event that I am proven wrong and Deku doesn’t go berserk, I will be very VERY disappointed. Not that I want him to suffer, but him bashing Villains with SEVEN-fucking-quirks is gonna be a through and through Badass Arc. Can you imagine the Absolute Bad-ass BEAST he’d become with all those powerful quirks buzzing under his skin?

According to Horikoshi’s trolling-ass, that Beast is apparently the most adorable (yet disturbing) Moth I have ever seen:

(Another insect? Is this a coincidence or maybe a joke? My over-analyzing ass thinks -THE FUCK NOT)

But I CANNOT tell you how BADLY I want this shit canon.(No, Not Mothoriya. But the Beast-Deku knocking Villains with 7 quirks)

Just Imagine The Sheer Epicness

Am I exaggerating, reading too much into it, creating mountains out of mole hills? Maybe I am, maybe I am off my rocker, absolute bat-shit crazy (I most certainly am), but I can dream, can’t I? Horikoshi might never answer my prayers for a Deku going crazy with so much power in his hands, maybe he will. No one knows the future.

So for now, the only thing we can do is wait and watch…

What if i just posted all 27 of the Lancer mech memes I've made so far all at once