the widening gyre

but fails to consider that ice is. so slippery.

Read the post and loved it exactly for the potential of what's in the tags: uh oh now David made it funnnn and Shane, quick little bean that he is, riiiight as he's getting to the edge of the rink, about to be picked up and passed to mom, gets up and skates away to the middle of the rink and PLOMP lays down on his back, giggling and kicking his little skates. "Again, Dad (Shane does not call David daddy in front of his friends, he's not a baby!), again!!"

coupled with the idea of shane's conversation with rose when he talks about how hockey got less fun because it got more intense and so so did he: the idea of ilya dramatically flopping on his back on the ice one day at camp when they're done running drills with the kids

and he is teasingly refusing to get up because he is dead now, hollander, can you not see this, and shane hesitates for just a second, grabs his hand, plants one of his skates, and just sends him sliding off towards the side of the rink, thinking about how his dad used to do it to him after every single practice

@somanystars G O D

shane as a teenager who still refuses to leave the ice after practice, but it's not for fun anymore. it's because he feels like he didn't do well today and needs to practice more, get faster, get better, get-dad, get OFF the ice. you're in the WAY.

just so frustrated with himself and mad because he's BETTER THAN THIS he KNOWS he's better than this. and david tries to get an arm around his shoulders and shane just defaults to. sitting down. go home if you want, he'll just-

Extension on that of yuna or David with little toddler Shane. And how one day kids get carried for the last time or whatever, but he officially outgrew ninja star time, he just got too long and lanky and yuna had a moment about that.

so every few weeks, when Ilya feels too lonely and misses Shane too bad, and it's been long enough not to be suspicious, or on the occasional night Shane gets drunk or frustrated, they'll call to fuck.

not to talk of course, though they both always seem to sneak in just a few minutes of small talk or gossip in the buildup.

Just to have sex.

and like,, Ilya straight up insists on having Shanes face in view. neither of them really think too much of the request (order) itself, because Ilya just says that he wants to hear and see the effect he's having on Shane, and who is Shane to refuse him?

but what I really really love, is the idea that Ilya is always pointing the camera at his body, his cock, his abs, because that's what Shane is there for, right?

and like, yes, that is what Shane's there for. but also, god he wants to fucking see ilyas face. wants to see his pupils swelled and lips swollen and hair stuck to his sweaty forehead.

but he couldn't get away with asking for the camera to be flipped the way Ilya can. both of them know that Shane loves to be ordered around, and Ilya loves to witness Shanes enjoyment.

Any request Shane makes is a serious, significant one, because Shane so rarely makes them. and Shane doesn't want Ilya to know that the actual personhood behind the camera is infinitely more important and arousing to Shane than the body.

so Ilya doesn't know that. in his head, he knows that he is just a fuck to Shane, and while he can sneakily get away with seeing Shane's face, his freckles, his choppy fringe, why would Shane ever want to see his?

but yeah, this post is just another addition to my expanding collection of Ilya (and Shane obviously, but specifically Ilya) angst. I love thinking about how his family treated him, as expected and obligated to give without the right for anything in return, would impact his other relationships and behaviours.

Like, if you grow up in a household like that, and now your main connection with your current family is through them extorting your wealth because its all they think your good for, isn't that going to be internalised?

I just think it makes perfect sense that Ilya would indeed conceptualise his relationship with Shane as a service he's doing (being great at sex, being discreet, being hot, being an excellent player etc), where in exchange he gets Shane.

at first, this would obviously just be sex with Shane, but as their relationship develops, yeah I think he would sneak in little moments of affection or vulnerability and justify it to himself as a trade.

Ilya fucks Shane crazy extra good -> Shane takes a nap in his bed and Ilya gets to imagine this being every day.

Ilya ensures his house is comfortable and hospitable, Ilya makes nice, tasty food, Ilya asks about safe but engaging topics and gets Shane talking -> Shane stays over for the day. Maybe even wants to make a habit of it. Maybe gets in the habit of texting and calling Ilya too. Maybe gets in the habit of Ilya.

I just don't think Ilya factors himself into the equation except as an obstacle, because I don't think he thinks of himself as genuinely lovable at his core, when his confident, flirty bluster is washed away.

"it feels like you're flirting with me!"

Also on YouTube!

Kate O'Flynn as Patricia

you can never get a clear listen to him. his primary sense node is covered in "hair" and the part that isn't is hidden by two crystals that refract sound waves in a pleasing but disorienting way. he covers his body in billowy cloth at all times. not snug and sensible and unobstructive like eridian coverings, but loose and layered, draped and flowing.

the most clear part of him are his internal organs. because yes, the alien's carapace isn't sound-proof. his single heart beats insistingly in his core, his lungs exchanging gas constantly, his long digestive tract always bubbling and contracting. his thorax is packed impossibly tight and it's all moving and singing.

and it shouldn't be possible, with how fragile he is, for that internal pressure to maintain. how does the thin membrane of his external organ (another horror that sends eridians reeling) keep it all contained? his "skin" is so easily pierced, cut, bruised, burnt, how does he not split open under his own mass?

when savior rocky first arrived home and described the environmental needs of his alien, the scientists thought he'd made a mistake in his frantic panic to get everything out. it isn't possible this being lives at such low atmospheric pressure, at half the gravity, and in a gas that's nearly double the weight of ammonia. in a gas so dangerous, so caustic. and if it does then how is it obligately terrestrial like rocky claims? shouldn't it fly or float instead? (and then to see it in the water, learning that it can float or sink at will.)

and this alien has come bearing gifts that will not only save your species but launch it into impossible heights of technological and intellectual advancement. he has discovered the solution to astrophage and bred it to thrive on threeworld and translated his instructions into eridian. he has given your people the complete sum of his people's knowledge, advanced in ways the eridians can't believe and behind in ways that seem ludicrous. and he has given his life for your people to have these things.

he knows how your solar system was formed. he knows how the universe started.

his name means beautiful and generous and relieving.

the eridians experiencing cosmic bliss.

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