these smiles belong to Shane Hollander and Shane Hollander only. (part 4)
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@bookgeekgrrl
these smiles belong to Shane Hollander and Shane Hollander only. (part 4)
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I do actually truly believe that there is nothing that Shane Hollander hates more than having to plan things. It takes him the whole night sitting there in the dark to come up with the objectively pretty bare bones and lackluster plan of 1. Ilya plays for Ottawa 2. Start a charity 3. ???? 4. Be Together Someday. For real.
This to me does not yell man with a plan. This to me says man who is so desperate to love and be loved that he is digging his nails into the only thing he wants and clinging to it. Desperate enough that he'll stay up until four in the morning with his heart rabbiting in his chest and his mind spinning faster than the earth itself trying to come up with something, ANYTHING that lets him. Fucking. Keep. This.
But on a normal day? He thrives on routine SPECIFICALLY so that he does not have to plan shit. Mr. I Hired A Stylist pays people and his MAMA to do that for him. For the things that don't involve hockey or his brand deals, Mr. A Designer Bought These Pillows just trundles along behind his husband and goes where he's told no questions asked. He fucking LOVES to wake up in the morning and have every aspect of his day prepared for him. He loves to wake up and scroll his color-coded calendar and know exactly what's on the docket. He's got a routine that he does not deviate from if he can POSSIBLY help it and it looks a little something like:
wake up when the alarm goes off.
SOMETIMES: Sex with Ilya. Whatever Ilya decides.
If sex with Ilya: Shower (Unless the sex with Ilya was in the shower)
Smoothie
go on run when the alarm goes off.
Come home and drink exactly the amount of water in the bottle he prefilled before his jog
Do yoga until the alarm goes off
Shower
Meal prepped breakfast
Game Tape OR admin OR workout OR whatever Yuna's put on the schedule until the alarm goes off.
SOMETIMES: Sex with Ilya. Whatever Ilya decides.
Shower, if needed.
Meal prepped lunch
Pre-game nap
[INSERT HOCKEY HERE.]
Come home.
PROBABLY: Sex with Ilya. Whatever Ilya decides.
Eat meal prepped dinner.
Wind-down time until the alarm goes off.
SOMETIMES: Sex with Ilya. Whatever Ilya decides.
Bed
He does not want to think about where he's going or what he's doing, he wants to follow his husband around like a duckling and go play whatever hockey game he's supposed to and lay on his back when his husband wants and be told with 2-4 days' notice if something is going to be Weird on Wednesday.
Did a thing the other day (please help, the fixation is bad, man)
Not to keep the discourse going but it does not mention anything about golf in canon so I do not have to imagine #myshane and #myilya golfing. And yes it is not for any woke ethical reasons which are the real reasons people should be anti-golf. Its because #myshane thinks that its social networking disguised as a sport and also a walk masquerading as a sport and that its a stupid waste of time. And #myilya anytime he goes golfing he gets blackout drunk because its so boring and so does not do it because there are less boring things to do while day drinking.
They do both mini-golf and have been banned from many mini-golf establishments across north america.

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A lot of the lore questions can be answered with, "yes, Spike is just a fucking freak."
Like, yeah vampires don't get much out of eating, won't risk going out during the day, wouldn't have the inner compass to seek out a soul, wouldn't stand by a mad Drusilla for centuries, would avoid slayers at all cost, and wouldn't aid a slayer once neutered for funsies.
Spike is just a fucking freak. A weirdo. Darla and Angel couldn't stand him in part due to the fact that something just is sideways in that man's head. No wonder him and Drusilla got on like a house on fire, they both have something deeply wrong with them.
And yeah, there's that whole demon taking the human as a template theory, and Spike being hedonism personified, and I'm well aware.
But like, I think using Spike as any kind of metric is a mistake because he is simply like that.
Spike is a kinked up, adrenaline junkie, loser, who sees common sense and sprints the other way with nothing but a blanket for holes for cover. It's just him, his purple shampoo, and his boredom zooming through the undead existence.
I have many thoughts about how much of the BtVS vampire lore as stated by the Council and Angel is either just wrong or twisted or misinterpreted, but simultaneously I can't deny that also Spike is just a fucking freak.
Imagine how difficult of an adjustment it will be for Shane and Ilya to not only be on the same team but to never actually share the ice (except on the power play). They're stuck watching their man be far and away the best player out there without the distraction of being mid-play themselves and they've lost their outlet for channelling all of their sexual tension into something reasonably acceptable for audiences. Imagine the fan edits of them just sitting on the bench, chewing on their mouthguard, while shooting obvious fuck-me-eyes at the other. Ilya's urge to check Shane into the boards is unreasonable. As soon as Shane gets on the ice he shoots off like a bat out of hell to burn off his excess energy. They can't even fucking look at each other in the locker room. As soon as they're home Ilya is throwing Shane up against the wall as hard as he would have done if they were both wearing pads. Those first few months they both acquire more bruises off the ice than on it.
parker is the one instantly interested in nate's ability to see the big picture. in the first ten minutes of the Nigerian job nate tells her how he knows the guards aren't at their station and she goes "I would've missed that." then at the end of the episode, she's the one that she's good at one thing, but he knows other things. she's always learning things from the others in a way no one else is. sometimes crime things, sometimes real life/social things, sometimes both. eliot teaches her to fight, sophie teaches her to grift, she doesn't hack, but she handles tech better than anyone but hardison. (eliot teaches her to like things, sophie teaches her how to have/be a friend, hardison teaches her to trust) she runs her own jobs, on her own, where the rest of the team never does. at first it doesn't work (the inside job) but then it does ( the broken wing job). obviously we see nate actually pull her into the planning in the long goodbye job in preparation for the ending, but she's been interested in learning from him, learning how to do what he does, since the very start. at first I think it was out of her self-preservation mindset, she didn't expect to have people to back her up, maybe ever. but even after she figures out they're sticking around, she won't have to run jobs alone, she keeps learning. from nate, from sophie, from eliot, from hardison, even tara. eventually, from harry. because of harry, from breanna. she accepts their input in a way nate never did, in a way nate never could. his "sicko love of control" wouldn't let him. but from the start, parker lets them teach her. and that carries over in the way she leads. she controls herself, never them. she makes the final call, but she wants input first. not because she can't make the decision herself, but because she sees the big picture in a different way than nate. she's watched the team save each other's skin over and over because one person noticed or knew something no one else did, and she knows she isn't always that person. they all grow so much in those first five years, and I don't know if I even think parker grew the most. but I do think she grew the most intentionally. she looked at all the others, saw what skills they had that she didn't, and decided she would learn.
GET TO KNOW ME ♡ Favorite Characters ↳ Shane Hollander “I need you to know, I did really try. I tried really hard, but, uh, I just can't help it.”
SINNERS (2025) + Trivia
Ahead of the 98th Academy Awards, it has made history as the most nominated film of all time at the Oscars, with 16 nominations.

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Most players don't really like All Stars all that much, like, it's an honour being chosen but the novelty wears off after a couple of years and most guys would prefer to have the time off.
The Hollander-Rozanovs, however, fucking live for All Star weekend. It's the only chance they get to play against each other in a competitive setting after they join the same team (scrimmages during practice don't count, especially since neither one of them wants to receive yet another lecture from coach on not treating them like the Stanley Cup finals at risk of injury and lowered team morale).
Luckily, the fans and the league are almost as excited to relive the days of the rivalry so they're hardly ever on the same team for All Stars and trust that Shane and Ilya have like 10-15 different bets riding on that weekend. They're betting on the skills competition, on number of goals, number of points, faceoff percentage, corsi for percentage. They're building it up for weeks. They have arguments from months back that will finally be settled by the results of this game.
Vincent Price - Song of Bernadette (1943)
I'm about to be controversial! (I think.) At the outset I have to say I love Svetlana. She's such a distinctive character who owns every scene she's in, is obviously a huge support to Ilya without ever losing herslef in the role of that support, she's terrifying, she'll eat you for breakfast in the daintiest most menacing way possible and you'll thank her for the privilege afterwards. I'm preaching to the choir, we all love Sveta.
But! I do think her particular place in the narrative and who she is to Ilya opens up some interesting avenues wrt her feelings about Shane. I've generally seen her in fic as being aggressively supportive of their relationship, though I've read a couple where she is uneasy about the move to Ottawa (reasonably so!) and one fantastic one where she straight up dislikes Shane because she doesn't think he's doing enough for Ilya.
There's plenty of jealous!Shane, but what I'd love to see more of is jealous!Svetlana. Not jealous in the romantic sense--we see pretty clearly that Ilya's not like that for her--but Svetlana reckoning with the presence of Shane in Ilya's life and what that means for her place in it.
The scene with Sasha in Sochi is fascinating to me. She tows Ilya along like he has no say in what's happening, she tosses Sasha at him like she's ordering for Ilya at a restaurant, and then even with Ilya's old squeeze in the room splaying his body out for Ilya in the exact way that she clearly wanted, she still monopolises Ilya's attention. There's a benevolent peremptory presumptuousness to her behaviour that I love: she's clearly used to having to muscle him into things that are for his own good because he won't reach for them himself, and I think it's so juicy that she's used to having the sole right to do that for him.
How would she react to having that exclusivity taken away? Ilya very obviously lets only her behind his walls, until Shane bulldozes his way past them in Tampa. I think it's interesting to examine how Svetlana would react to losing that primacy with Ilya--it's not jealousy in a romantic or sexual sense, but Ilya's never had anyone like Shane before,and that would be an adjustment for Svetlana, I think. She's not just going from being Ilya's first call to his second call: she's going from being his only call to his second; from being the only one behind the wall to sharing that space for the first time. From having the surety that she can walk into Ilya's house to surprise him, in whatever way she wants, to having to reckon with Shane or even having to check with him first. Especially given the much closer relationship in the show--I can't imagine that show!Svetlana meets Shane the day before their wedding, and given their closeness, Shane forbidding Ilya from telling Svetlana would be a lot less excusable than it was in the book.
We don't know much about Svetlana outside of Ilya, so we don't know how strong her support system is without him, but there's room to wonder how crucial his availability for her, for lack of a better phrasing, is, and how she'd grapple with no longer being his first priority. To be clear, she knows, and we know, thst the worry is baseless and that Ilya would drop everything for her. But there's a security in being First and it's interesting to wonder how Svetlana would deal with losing that, and how that would affect how she interacts with Shane.
There's also the hockey of it all--Ilya is surrounded by it, but for Svetlana, he's very likely to be one of the most hockey-intelligent people in her life and they're clearly accustomed to constantly talking puck with each other. Now, there's Shane: famously high hockey IQ but can also engage directly with Ilya as a player and is probably the only person in the world who can, who has access to Ilya's hockey brain in a way Svetlana never will. This is kind of a mirror of my headcanon for Hayden's jealousy of Ilya: being supplanted as the best friend's First Hockey Person.
Honestly I just like to think about what it would look like if the completely baseless jealousy went both ways. I think they would eventually grow to like each other, and of course they're both ultimately grateful for each other's presnece in Ilya's life because it ensures his well being and happiness. Any possessive feelings would be subsumed by their love for him, but Shane obviously has some jealousy to navigate through to get to that point and it would be an interesting dynamic for Svetlana to have to navigate that as well.
Rewatching the original "The Little Mermaid" animated movie while working on something else... I can't quite recall at the moment (early into it atm) if this movie ever establishes Eric as the heir of the throne of his kingdom.
I think it'd be really funny if Eric was actually a younger brother. So, like, maybe he's a duke, actually, but he still gets the title of Prince. Travels the sea a lot, unlike a more landlocked heir. Hanging out at this summer seaside palace while the rest of the family is elsewhere for some reason.
Like, imagine Eric's parents and older brother and maybe sister-in-law and niblings getting that letter at the end of this movie. Nearly drowned. Miraculously washed ashore. Fell in love with a mysterious voice and then a mute girl. Got enchanted by a shape-shifting sea witch and nearly married her. Killed the sea witch after she turned into a giant. Married the aforementioned girl who turned out to be the beloved youngest daughter of the mythical King Triton instead and have now established a strong alliance with the merpeople. Wild summer! Wish you were here!
(via @owl-librarian)
in a reasonable canon, shane would simply have THEE most dependent and intimate relationship with the montreal team nutritionist. like, he has her on speed dial. they text multiple times per day. she spends 60% of her work hours adjusting meal plans for his texture issues and aversions. nobody else really sees how intense their connection is.
when he was crashing out about trading to ottawa, he said, "You know, it's just gonna be really hard to leave melissa," and hayden was sitting right there like. "melissa?? it's gonna be hard to leave MELISSA??"
but i think we can probably convince melissa to move to ottawa with him, don't worry.

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UPDATE! They found the original photo!
shane is soooooo strict
no motorcycle (i will be so mad if you crash and die)
no pilots license (i will be very mad if you fly into a mountain and die)
no smoking (i will never forgive you if you get lung cancer and die)
no fast cars (i will be so mad if you die in a high-speed crash)
go to the dermatologist (i will be so mad if you get skin cancer and die)
ilya is rolling his eyes but he’s giddy af and everytime ilya gets a clean bill of health from the team doctor he shows shane, “happy?” “happiest”
@tinylilhollander