be forever dead in eurydice and climb back singing

atheist bad driver: I will rely on my own skill to see myself safely home after a mere 8 drinks

trope: trapped in an elevator

i love that FatT doesn’t have specific characters here it’s just. every FatT

I mean, like, of my favorite interactions in Counter/WEIGHT, which is the only canon with elevators except Marielda which wrote its own elevator slapstick:

Aria & Jacqui: Aria jumps up onto Jacqui’s shoulders and burns a hole in the ceiling, finding as she does that she’s totally right and it is an assassination attempt! The ensuing fight takes place over three different locations, all of which she destroys.

AuDy & anyone: Upon realizing that they are going to be trapped in an enclosed space with a sentient being, it is AuDy’s settled and considered practice to turn themselves off until the experience is over. If necessary, they will instead pretend to turn themselves off and play as many rounds of mental solitaire as is necessary until the other person stops trying to talk to them. This explains September.

Cass & Aria: Aria is about to shoot a hole in the ceiling to stop an assassination attempt when Cass blurts out that the elevator was programmed to stop halfway between the medical wing and the xenobiology wing! So that they can access the secret back access ladder! Aria is thrilled at this evidence of Cass’s foresight; Cass is thrilled that they’re at the point where they can just say whatever shit they want and their friends will buy it as a master plan.

Maryland and anyone: No elevator has ever broken down near Maryland.

Jace & Addax: Jace gets two lines into the “ha ha, guess we should wait for the rescue crew, anyway what’s your sign–” before Addax has already called on Peace to interface with the elevator and they are out of there. Addax gets all the way to Peace’s hangar before he slaps his forehead and turns around to try to get that precious, precious hitting-on time back, but it’s too late, it’s all too late in space. Life is a series of missed opportunities and connections. He turns it over and over in his mind, sometimes as a fantasy, sometimes as a sharp regret, until years later– when Jace is a figure out of time, resurrected and renewed, and Addax by some grace is sitting next to him in bed and going over his dissertation for punctuation errors– Jace is like, “oh, shit, do you know what I just remembered? That time I tried to hit on you in an elev–” and Addax blurts out “SAGITTARIUS.” 

Theseus and the Minotaur - Alice and Martin Provensen