Once more little Kirpling

beam me up scotty (beam me up inside) can’t beam up (beam me up inside)

goodnight goblins. goodnight ghouls. goodnight screaming tomes and scrolls. goodnight floating glowing eye. goodnight my dear homunculi. goodnight imps and spectral wraiths. goodnight false god that feeds on faith. goodnight bony skeletons. goodnight inert collapsing sun. goodnight monster made of mud. goodnight vampires drinking blood. i wish you all good evil-night. and please do let the bed bugs bite

@monstrousagonies

DELETE YOUR BLOG

Of course! Anything for the illustrious First Emperor of the Middle Kingdoms!

Update: I have consulted the court historians, and they have told me that it is not possible for me to delete official government records, and that my request to do so will be added to the sillok.

ABDICATE!!!!

FIRST KILL ALL THE COURT HISTORIANS AND THEN FUCKING ABDICATE

I have GOT to stop spending $30

put on my leitmotif bro i feel a monologue coming on

Oops, accidentally put on the version that turns into a dramatic reprise of the main heroes theme halfway through. That’s probably fine, right?

you motherfucker…

devastating: artist who has not practiced fundamentals enough to execute high concept idea eats shit

went to a new optometrist today wearing my squid facts ‘save our freaks’ shirt from @sarahmackattack that has a strawberry squid on it. and i wasn’t even thinking about it but the optometrist walked in and he was like ‘oh what does your shirt say’ so i showed him and he was like ‘oh that’s neat!’ and then i thought he might like to know about strawberry squid eyes since they have weird eyes and he is an optometrist and all. so i was like ‘yeah it’s actually a real kind of squid called a strawberry squid, their eyes are really cool because they have one big yellow-green one and one small blue one’ and he kind of gasped and went ‘oh my god that’s so interesting i wonder why they have that. do you know what their retina composition is like?’ and i watched as he minimized my chart on the computer and started looking up images of strawberry squid and then he googled ‘strawberry squid retina composition’ and he was like ‘sorry we’ll get to your eye exam in a moment i just really want to find out’ LMAO 10/10 optometrist experience will be returning

Hell yeah

it’s true strawberry squid are pretty awesome

im actually cleft in twain right now can i call you back