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in order to build muscle you need to train to failure and we say that a lot but dont really explain what that means.
most people stop when their muscles start to feel the "burn", or get a little shaky. that's fatigue, not failure. if you're training to fatigue, you'll increase oxygen uptake and endurance in those muscles, but not so much size or strength.
failure is when you physically can't do another clean rep- you try to do another pushup, but you arms just won't lower you to the floor or even really hold your weight anymore. it shouldn't involve any sort of sharp pain, sharp or shooting pains mean STOP IMMEDIATELY. but it should feel physically impossible to do another rep, like when you try to lift something too heavy for you. and you should have pretty bad DOMS the next day- sore and stiff. you want to create microtrauma in your tissues via progressively overloading them to stimulate growth.
an effective exercise should get you to failure within ten reps. if you can do more than ten, try a harder variation if you're doing calisthenics, or add more weight if you're lifting. your strength ceiling is VERY high. women start out with less overall lean mass, but we actually build a higher percentage of muscle proportionate to what we already have, and recover more quickly than males, so your work will pay off if you train properly.
to be honest i just pick a muscle group and search online for calisthenics exercises and variations to target that group. strengthening your core is always a good place to start. i usually focus on upper body/arms, back, core, legs on different days. dont do your whole body in one day. you wont be able to move the next day LOL
Thereâs merit to a lot of gold star discourse but unfortunately some of the loudest people have such a bad understanding of human behavior that when theyâd see that one gross girl in elementary school drink the noxious lunch concoction of chocolate milk + ketchup + ranch for clout their only conclusion is that she really considered it a delicacy
In our society we cannot adequately determine whether a woman does anything solely because she wants to. She may say she is wearing makeup, or a hijab, because she truly wants to, but when she has been surrounded since birth by a society saying she *must* want to wear makeup or religious articles, how much of her want is a want to fit in and do what sheâs âsupposedâ to do versus how much she truly wants to do the thing? Does she even know?
As feminists we can recognize and critique this concept of âtrueâ free will in women.
Unless it comes to a woman who only actually experiences same-sex attraction, but, despite this, had a relationship with a dude at some point.. in that case sheâs a fucking liar and just needs to admit sheâs bi, you know?
Wealthy, stay-at-home moms are a cultural lightning rod for anxieties about wealth and privilege.
The point is not that we should feel sorry for women with a personal chef and a house in the Hamptons. Rather, my goal is to illuminate who gets to be both wealthy and morally worthy in our society. In the modern-day US, our concept of meritocracy is inherently gendered. This means that women bear the brunt of negative judgments about wealthâand raises questions about what women âdeserve,â and on what basis, that cut across social class.
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Not bringing in money left some of these women feeling vulnerable. A parenting expert told me, of the wealthy stay-at-home moms she worked with, âThey feel so guilty that theyâre wasting their degrees⌠They feel so âless than.ââ
Helen (a pseudonym, like all other names in this piece), who had been an investment banker and had left her career reluctantly, told me, â[Iâm] well-educated. I had a career. You know, where is all that now?â She said she sometimes felt like she was âworking forâ her husband. She added, âThere are power dynamics, where heâs the breadwinner now, and Iâm really not. And yet, I do so many things for the family that you canât put a number on it.â Her unpaid labor is hard to measure, and therefore hard to appreciate.
Bridget worked part-time, bringing in much less money than her husband did. She said he gave her âa hard timeâ about spending but felt free to buy what he wanted. She put this dilemma succinctly, saying, said, âI canât make enough money to impact our life. And how am I ever going to make enough money to deserve something, if I donât just say I worked for this and I made this money?ââ By bringing in the money, men often get the power to decide how it is spent. Equally important, they also get the right to feel like they âdeserveâ what they have.
The other reason wealthy stay-at-home mothers are vilified is that they are imagined to be excessive and self-indulgent consumers, in a world where over-the-top consumption is often seen as a moral failing. Women, more associated with consumers in general, bear the brunt of this kind of judgment, especially when they are thought to be spending only on themselves.
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Stephanie prided herself on being an attentive mother, making Halloween costumes for her son and baking âbeautifully decoratedâ cookies for his school. She also explained in detail the stresses of managing their home in Manhattan and their weekend home, saying, âIâm the one that deals with all of it.â But, she said, her husband âthinks that Iâm, you know, eating bon bons all day. Itâs hard.â He also hassled her about spending too much, though she protested that she bought clothes at Target and cut her own hair and nails, while he splurged on expensive meals for his friends.
When the roles were reversed, women did not exert the same judgment over their husbandsâ spending. The women I interviewed who earned more than their husbands, or who brought the bulk of the money into the household through inheritance, described this state of affairs as threatening to their husbands. Rather than control their husbandsâ expenditures, they went out of their way to make men feel like they were contributing too, by letting them control the familyâs investments or by legally turning over some sum of money to them. So the power dynamic here is about masculinityânot just about who brings home more of the bacon.
i feel like reading this article is a good way to test whether or not you have fully accepted that misogyny does not get canceled out by anything, including obscene wealth
âNot bringing in money left some of these women feeling vulnerable.â Iâm surprised this article doesnât mention the most obvious issue with being dependent on your husband for money: how hard it is as a âwealthyâ woman to leave your husband when none of your âwealthâ actually belongs to you. I put âwealthyâ in quotes because of course these women arenât actually wealthy in their own right; theyâre married to wealthy men, which is very different. These women have nothing of their own, which is a very scary place to be in â living in luxury while knowing that none of it is yours and it could all be taken away at any minute.
Iâm speaking from experience as someone who grew up in a very wealthy neighborhood where the domestic violence shelters were full of battered women every night, most of whom would go back to their rich husbands in the morning because they were scared what would happen to them and their kids if they left. These men had the best lawyers and could take everything in a divorce, including the kids (a doubly scary option for a mother if your husband is abusive).
Money is power. When your husband is also your employer (as in, he supports you financially in exchange for which you provide domestic/emotional/childcare labor), that means he has the power to dictate what you do âon company timeâ, so to speak (which, since a marriage has no contract, no predetermined salary, and no fixed hours, is all the time). Many a man believes he has a right to dictate how his wife spends âhisâ money, including how she spends her free time, where she goes, what she wears, who she socializes with, how she raises âhisâ kids, and so on, because heâs paying for all of it. And the difficult thing is, so do we, because even without the misogyny we as a capitalist culture are deeply invested in the idea that paying for something gives you certain ârightsâ over the thing youâre paying for, and that naturally the person who âcontributesâ more should have a bigger say in how things get done.
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If anyone's ever wondering why I come across as such an arrogant bitch on Tumblr it's because I used to work in science with a lot of men and never readjusted my communication style afterward.
This is one of my biggest seemingly low-stakes feminist soapboxes. Women are often encouraged to take hedging, consensus-seeking, and checking-in phrases out of their speech in order to seem "more confident". And listen, of course you do not need to say "I think" when you actually know for pretty damn sure, or double-check every little thing you say, or apologize for things that are out of your control.
But there are men in my life who I respect, who I think are generally good communicators, but who have admitted to me that if they do not know the answer to something they will just state their best guess in a confident tone of voice, with no hedging or clarification to warn the listener that what they just said was pulled from their ass.
I once asked my high school boyfriend what noise a platypus makes and he confidently told me "oh they quack" and I said "really? that seems like they'd have different noise-making structures than ducks since they're not birds" and he said "oh yeah you're probably right. I was just guessing." And had no idea why I was mad! I was like, so if I ask you a question you might just bullshit me?? What if I had believed you and gone and repeated that to other people? I could have looked like an idiot. I could have spread misinformation to a ton of people! But I have told that story to other men and had them say "oh yeah I totally do that."
This is so much worse communication than just saying "I don't know but I think..." There shouldn't be campaigns training professional women to sound "more confident," there should be campaigns training professional MEN to stop doing whatever THAT is!
Ans whatâs the solution? Women need to act more like men!
âŚthe fuck they do! Men need to act more like women.
I still remember when I was learning to drive stick a male coworker made fun of me for not knowing how to drive stick.
Not even 6 months later he came in complaining about how hard it is to drive stick.
And Iâm like âdidnât you give me shit for not knowing?! Did you honestly give me shit for still learning something you didnât know about at all?!â
And he just shrugged and said, âwell I just assumed it was easy.â
My most old-school internet opinion is bring back chunky scroll bars! I don't want some scroll bar so discreet I can't even find the fucking thing. I want a nice Windows 98-level of obviousness.
I donât want to pixel hunt for my fucking scroll bar like Iâm playing Kingâs Quest motherfucker, I just want to slightly adjust what Iâm looking at!
obviously bigotry isnt rational but "women are naturally worse at spatial reasoning and math" is a wild opinion to have when women have historically been the primary textile producers in a lot of societies. have you ever seen a tablet weaving pattern
Richard Feynman, a sexist physician who believed women werenât capable of physics, actually realized heâd been wrong when heâd overheard two women talking about knitting (I think) patterns and techniques
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"over a million users discuss suicide with chatgpt every week, what the fuck are we doing here?"
what we're doing here is *checks notes* having people forcefully committed to mental institutions where their freedom is heavily restricted if they talk about suicide with a real person, whether it's a therapist, friends & family, or most suicide hotlines. gee, i wonder why suicidal people are so desperate to talk about it with something that's incapable of calling cops to snatch them out of their home?
chatgpt sucks horribly in too many ways to count, but this is a problem that falls squarely on how deplorably society treats suicidal people, starving them of all options other than "tell someone and risk being committed to a mental institution that makes everything worse" or "keep quiet about it". over a million users discussing suicide with chatgpt a week isn't something that will change unless involuntary commitment is off the table.
âŚyeah Iâm gonna need a source showing that if you so much as breathe a word about suicide, even to a family member or therapist, youâre forcibly carted off to an asylum.
Not exactly the same, but back when I expressed suicidal ideation in high school, my parents were immediately informed (because that's protocol) and I got in HUGE trouble that almost led to me actually committing suicide (where I previously had no plans). I was also forced to go to school counseling which basically told me I was the source of all my problems (just don't act autistic and you won't get bullied!).
"over a million users discuss suicide with chatgpt every week, what the fuck are we doing here?"
what we're doing here is *checks notes* having people forcefully committed to mental institutions where their freedom is heavily restricted if they talk about suicide with a real person, whether it's a therapist, friends & family, or most suicide hotlines. gee, i wonder why suicidal people are so desperate to talk about it with something that's incapable of calling cops to snatch them out of their home?
chatgpt sucks horribly in too many ways to count, but this is a problem that falls squarely on how deplorably society treats suicidal people, starving them of all options other than "tell someone and risk being committed to a mental institution that makes everything worse" or "keep quiet about it". over a million users discussing suicide with chatgpt a week isn't something that will change unless involuntary commitment is off the table.
âŚyeah Iâm gonna need a source showing that if you so much as breathe a word about suicide, even to a family member or therapist, youâre forcibly carted off to an asylum.
psychiatric hospitalization is the standard for high risk patients. if you appear actively suicidal to a therapist, that IS what will happen. it's true that not every single person you talk to about suicidal thoughts is gonna have you commited or call the police, but the point is that desperate people might prefer seeking help in a way that doesn't expose them to the possibility of being held against their will.
âActively suicidalâ is FAR different from what the person above described.
The person above say this happens if you so much as talk about suicide - no level of commitment indicated - with anyone.
Telling your family youâve thought about suicide = immediate involuntary commitment , according to them
Talking to your therapist about your depression that leads you to passing thoughts of ending it all = immediate involuntary commitment, according to them.
This is flatly untrue.
Telling your therapist this is your last session because you have a razor at home you plan to use, of COURSE is going to get you confined.
But that is a FAR cry from simply discussing thoughts of suicide.
"over a million users discuss suicide with chatgpt every week, what the fuck are we doing here?"
what we're doing here is *checks notes* having people forcefully committed to mental institutions where their freedom is heavily restricted if they talk about suicide with a real person, whether it's a therapist, friends & family, or most suicide hotlines. gee, i wonder why suicidal people are so desperate to talk about it with something that's incapable of calling cops to snatch them out of their home?
chatgpt sucks horribly in too many ways to count, but this is a problem that falls squarely on how deplorably society treats suicidal people, starving them of all options other than "tell someone and risk being committed to a mental institution that makes everything worse" or "keep quiet about it". over a million users discussing suicide with chatgpt a week isn't something that will change unless involuntary commitment is off the table.
âŚyeah Iâm gonna need a source showing that if you so much as breathe a word about suicide, even to a family member or therapist, youâre forcibly carted off to an asylum.
I need to know where youâre getting your statistic that everyone who so much as breathes a word about suicide is having this happen to them, and this is why actually AI, which has been known to encourage suicide, is good.
"over a million users discuss suicide with chatgpt every week, what the fuck are we doing here?"
what we're doing here is *checks notes* having people forcefully committed to mental institutions where their freedom is heavily restricted if they talk about suicide with a real person, whether it's a therapist, friends & family, or most suicide hotlines. gee, i wonder why suicidal people are so desperate to talk about it with something that's incapable of calling cops to snatch them out of their home?
chatgpt sucks horribly in too many ways to count, but this is a problem that falls squarely on how deplorably society treats suicidal people, starving them of all options other than "tell someone and risk being committed to a mental institution that makes everything worse" or "keep quiet about it". over a million users discussing suicide with chatgpt a week isn't something that will change unless involuntary commitment is off the table.
âŚyeah Iâm gonna need a source showing that if you so much as breathe a word about suicide, even to a family member or therapist, youâre forcibly carted off to an asylum.
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Whatâs most frustrating is sometimes GC or radfem lesbians say trans men canât be lesbian despite the logical conclusion making it possible they can be - but they deny them just because theyâre âbetrayedâ by trans men abandoning womanhood. So deny them out of punishment, as if not having a trans identity makes you any more lesbian than a female homosexual who does. It will forever piss me off that we give so much empathy to hyperfeminine straight women with dysmorphia making them get a million surgeries but lesbians with a trans identity are automatically treated like dirt. The identity doesnât come out of thin air just like the hyperfeminine straight womenâs self-hatred. Except lesbians suffer homophobia as well as misogyny
All you said is true @lesbian-defender but I will say that I don't think GC lesbians are under any obligation to include gender identity related bullshit in their spaces, even if the bullshit is being perpetrated by other lesbians. If denying that TIF lesbians are lesbains is the only way to stop them and their TRA bullshit from infesting GC lesbain spaces? So be it. Let the TIFs be hoisted by their own petard.
The problem with a lot of TIF lesbians is that they want to have their cake and eat it too. They want to still be seen as lesbians while adopting a male identity, AND they bat for transbians a lot of the time. Nah, leave em out to dry, they can find solidarity among the males who's fetishes they prop up.
A lesbian who denies TIFs can be lesbians gives too much credence to their male identity. Itâs not gender critical to see lesbianism as anything other than female homosexuality, not matter how angry and bitter you are that one identifies as a man. Be logically consistent.
IMO itâs that last line weâre requesting - for them to be logically consistent
You cannot call yourself a man and a lesbian.
So fucking choose one.
Exclusively SSA TIFs are lesbians, but if they canât acknowledge they are lesbians and all lesbians are girls/women, I donât think itâs problematic for lesbians to ask them to gtfo until they get their heads on straight
"Iâve actually had woke men use this argument when Iâve talked about males in womenâs prisons. They said those women will get sexually assaulted by prison guards anyway."
