go download me a hoagie off the internet

much like the minotaur I am a creature in some sort of situation

basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg

I don't think this is true, but I will wait for a ruling by the sacred boar that lives in the center of the earth

hey, my wraith saw you from across the dungeon and wanted to know if he was cool to touch you with his long-ass skeletal ice finger

When I was training to be a paramedic, we had one student ask the instructor what to do in the event of a marijuana overdose. The instructor said "Tell him to take two twinkies and call you in the morning."

Parents are giving their children names no one has ever spoken out loud before

Baby Name Consultant is the type of job title you'd see people claim to have on HGTV while nitpicking 3 different multi-million dollar houses.

people in books and tv shows are always getting so upset they throw an untouched meal in the trash. that would never be me. i'd receive the worst news of my life and still be like Let me put this in the fridge.

lowkey kinda hate how all the pride flags are just stripes, can we get some shapes up in here pls

Hell yeah 🤙

Biczechual

“it’s not that deep” it’s not that shallow. now what