Verifiable Vampirate

yeah, sex is fun, but have you had sex 2? upgrade dude.

What are some features of Sex 2?

You know, there's this cliché that teenage boys always eat massive amounts, but teenage girls really aren't that different if they're not suppressed by diet culture and body shaming. Like, I was a teenage girl who frankly just stopped bothering to fit into mainstream beauty ideals at some point, and I would regularly make myself just one big massive pot of pasta and devour it completely. This wasn't even stress eating or anything, I just genuinely needed the energy because you know, I was a teenager and my body was developing. I feel like so many teenage girls think they need to eat as little as possible to be petite and pretty, but the truth is that your body is developing just as intensely as teenage boys' bodies. Eat more, please, your body needs it.

Would love to see this graph also include his children's trades

doordash driver in cute lil dog ears came in earlier and i was like “omg i love your ears!!!!! so cute!!!” and she got flustered and was like “thank you i wish they were real…” and i love her so much i hope i can become her friend

*wistful sigh* i miss when i was younger and my biggest problem was deciding which of my usurpers should meet the guillotine that week *holds head in hands, visibly shaking* now i have to do things like regularly vacuum and laundry

My liege the windows are dirty

i sentence the windows to the rack