🫵 wish me a happy 13th ao3-iversary right now my ao3 is 13 on Friday the 13th!!!
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🫵 wish me a happy 13th ao3-iversary right now my ao3 is 13 on Friday the 13th!!!

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Im at my sisters place rn and we got back from dinner last night to find the road blocked by her neighbors trying to fix a flat tire
Thatd be normal except her neighbor is Shawn of Slipknot and his son is Simon of Vended and his son is the one who lives in the house so it was Vended outside fixing a flat
Hilarious
im not a very patriotic woman but i nonetheless whole-heartedly support every drive-through employee’s constitutional right to be blazed out of their fuckin gourd
ok poll time because i am genuinely curious about something (and this is not a call out for anyone, that's just me being in my head)
do you answer comments on your fics or do you not (for the specific reason that it "distorts" the actual amount of comments)?
yes i answer comments
no i don't answer comments because of the above
secret third option (put it in the tags)
The way that most of Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes stories’ most horrible villains are rich dudes that are abusive to women, in a time such as the 1880’s, compels me.
There’s a whole subset of Sherlock Holmes stories that could be labeled Asshole Guys Try to Control Women’s Money.
Yup, there’s a huge number of times where Sherlock Holmes is the ONLY person to take a young woman’s complaint or worry seriously and finds out someone is up to some serious evil. Holmes also shows a lot of compassion and empathy with the victims over and over again. (This is why I find “Secretly a woman” or “Trans” Holmes headcanons much more convincing than “sociopath” Holmes.)
I am never going to shut up about how much I specifically love The Adventure of The Copper Beeches because it is literally Sherlock Holmes listening to a young lady he does not know except as a potential client, agreeing with her that a potential job she has interviewed for that she thinks is SUPER SKETCHY is, indeed, sketchy as fuck and when she says she’s probably gonna take the job anyways because the money is good and she needs it going “OKAY I GUESS but for the love of god please write to us so we know you’re okay we will literally drop everything and jump on a train if you want us to”.
The job turns out to indeed be sketchy as fuck, she writes to them, Holmes and Watson drop everything and jump on a train when she asks them to. I read this story for the first time when I was twelve and it made a HUGE impression.
This is also the basis for a lot of speculation about Holmes’ family life. The idea that he has been a victim of abuse, or his mother was abused (or even murdered by his father.) There’s definitely SOMETHING that makes him very aware of how dangerous isolated families can be, and the dark things that can happen behind closed doors. Plus, of course, the motivation to devote himself to stopping crime. And yes, so much of it is of the personal type.
dude see this is one aspect of the original books i NEVER understand why modern remakes (cough cough) don’t go all in on. Like, in the 21th c we HAVE all the dumb forensic shit that made Victorian Holmes stand out, but we STILL DON’T HAVE uh….you know, compassion for women and minorities, or the willingness to believe them, adequate community support for domestic violence or hate crimes, etc. etc. which you’d think is exactly where a renegade consulting detective would come in handy. A good modern day Sherlock Holmes remake, instead of trying to convince us that Holmes is some super genius for being better than fingerprint analysis or whatever, could have him just be…a good person who helps out people the police can’t and won’t help. There you go. That’s how to write a relevant modern Holmes.
One thing that annoys me is how much the BBC version of Sherlock (and the fandom around it) focus on police cases or cold cases. In the stories, Holmes’ bread and butter cases had fuck-all to do with the police and in a few stories, he actively works around/against them, or outright lies to them. Of the many, many things I wish that show had done differently, this is one is particularly obnoxious since it’s such a gimme.
There were very few actual murder cases in the Canon, and Holmes handled them either one of two ways:
Option one: The murder victim was innocent while the killer was an abusive bastard, see Speckled Band. Conclusion, arrest and have the killer charged (Or in the case of Speckled Band, indirectly murder him yourself then shrug and go home)
Option two: The victim was murdered to protect someone that the victim was abusing, or for vengeance, see Boscombe Valley, Devil’s Foot, Abbey Grange. Conclusion, Oops, I don’t know who the killer is, I am suddenly incompetent, oh look a pheasant.
#my favorite murder in holmes canon#is when they straight up witness a lady murder her blackmailer#do nothing except destroy his other blackmail material#and then straight up lie to lestrade about it#sherlock holmes#more of this in modern adaptations pls (via @cactusspatz )
Let’s not forget the time Holmes helps a young woman who’s being catfished by her own stepfather to steal her inheritance, and when the villain sneers that the law can’t touch him, Holmes grabs a horsewhip out of sheerest chivalry.
So, the most canon-accurate iteration of Sherlock Holmes in the last few decades is actually Benoit Blanc….
I think it’s also important to note, and complicates our ideas about what the highly patriarchal/misogynistic society of 19th century England looked like, that these stories SOLD
they were POPULAR
the Victorians LIKED reading about women who won out over shitty men in their lives, even when that plotline reaffirmed a woman’s power and agency or put an active sexist in his place (ie Irene Adler besting Holmes)
which is fascinating in light of. you know. [gestures broadly at all of Victorian gender dynamics, laws, etc.]
So yes, Benoit Blanc is the best modern Sherlock.

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“i have of late lost all my mirth” should be a valid reason not to come in to work
a book should be $5 a little drink should be $2 and museum access should be free and all hours
sorry im not giving into the cutting out sweet treats propaganda. life is hard enough
Do you recognize this TV theme song? #636
I know this and can name the series
I know this but can't name the series
I might know this
I've never heard this
google help me
the thing is, stephen king is generally pretty good at creating complex, well-rounded characters, which makes it all the more jarring when one of those characters abruptly comes out with what i'll term a "kingism". i don't know how best to define a kingism other than "you'll know it when you see it". it's the voice of the author intruding on the voice of the character, and in this case the voice of the author has a bad sense of humour and is ravenously, inexplicably horny
random example of a kingism aka "he would not fucking say that"
this too is a kingism
one of the hallmarks of a kingism is that when a character is being Horny On Main (or In Maine), they can never do it in a normal way. they have to come up with a sequence of words that nobody has ever said before in the history of the english language. here's another example:
i'm starting a collection

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hot girl summer but only in air conditioned spaces
This sketch is incredible. Perfect moment to capture. 10/10 for the artist.
Link to post
A hearing in Luigi Mangione’s state murder case in the killing of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson was postponed until Wednesday after pr
my mom does this thing when she's tipsy where she decides she needs to buy things for me and to this day she's sad i wouldn't let her buy me a sweater that said Whiskey Weather on it even though "but it's black you love black. and whiskey."
this is also how i ended up with a spiderweb necklace
💙❤️ his
Yall I pulled into the plaza lot behind some guy in a Honda who was holding up traffic and driving erratically and clipped the curb twice and when I parked as far away from where I thought he was going, he came and parked in the lane in front of my car, blocking me in as I hoofed it into Sally's. Id made eye contact with him as he sat in front of my car and just had this horrible feeling of Not Right. There was something terribly wrong with this man, from the way he was driving to how he was sitting to the way he looked at me.
So I booked it into Sally's and explained to the employee what was going on and that a man was blocking in my car and I had A Very Bad Feeling. Several employees (god bless Sally's alts, I have said so many times) immediately closed ranks, offering to call the police and walk me to to my car.
I got my dye and the man was STILL parked in front of my car so the manager and another employee volunteered to walk me out. Only when he saw me with two other people did he leave, and even then we all very tersely watched him as he went. A third employee came out to tell us he pulled a u-turn and was coming back the other way so all of them stayed with me until he was long gone.
That was scary as fuck. Could have been nothing, but could have been something and you never want to find out too late that it was something by yourself. Thank fuck for the ranks of Sally's goths who were ready to fight for me today.
I had to go back today to get some dye for a patch I missed and this is objectively the wildest reason for the Sally's employees to know my name now. But they do.

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Well, well, well. If it isn't the consequences of someone else's actions that I am directly impacted and severely affected by
if you comment some demanding shit like this on fanfic writers’ works, you don’t deserve the privilege of getting to read fanfiction for free
Fun fact! Demanding updates is also likely to make authors delay them, either out of spite, or because you bring their mood too low to effectively write!
For me it causes both <3