writin hurt eatin dirt

When I was training to be a paramedic, we had one student ask the instructor what to do in the event of a marijuana overdose. The instructor said "Tell him to take two twinkies and call you in the morning."

I absolutely adore dogs but I think dog haters are (usually) more justified than cat haters wrt their reasoning

Wouldst thou like to live fergaliciously

I do suffer the american condition of liking to drink huge drinks

the 4th of july? you mean like the fall out boy song? you know that isn’t real, right?

They did this joke so many times and it ate every single time

imagine this heat and you roll over in bed an there’s some cunt there next to you. bruv id be inconsolable