i'm steamboat willie & i'm here to fuck your wife

that one rihanna ig post with Mine’s Bigger Than Yours written in the background w the caption My dick AND my forehead! is like poetry to me

driving my wild boar and i feel a slight bump and i look in the rearview mirror and see a squashed honda civic

targhwIj vISeD 'ej ghulHom vIjem 'ej 'em cha'bogh neSlo' vIghan 'ej «honda civic» vItapbogh vIlegh

black mackerel tabby

solid black, dilute black (blue) mackerel tabby

I do sort of feel like posts are getting harder to glean meaning from these days.

been stewing on an analytical approach to fiction which I call "is this book afraid of me?" and in order to answer this question you determine how hard the book is trying to make sure you don't come after the writer on twitter

Please keep making art. Please make it for yourself. Please don’t let everything become even more of the same flat general appeal nonsense that doesn’t seem to have anything to say

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

what they DONT tell you about clarinets is that you have to fucking build the damn thing every single time. "what instrument do you play" fucking legos man idk

about build clarinets damn do DONT every fucking fucking have idk instrument is legos man play" single tell that the they thing time. to what "what you you you

I really need to start reading the blog name because I thought I was having some sort of moment right there.

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

free use is kind of a funny kink bc it relies on the idea that everybody wants to touch you and have sex with you but what if they don't. what if you tell everybody at the party you're free use but they all ignore you and mind their own business

What if everything gets better in 2016