tiny and in love

is anyone else their father’s female son

girl help i’m starting over again for the 1000th time & i’m beginning to think that life is a never-ending cycle of starting over & i actually have to make peace with that in order to move forward

they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of

check out the mourning doves’ new single “hooOOOO hoo hoo hoo” if you get the chance. sound of the summer.

people born in 2000 should be like 12-14 now. but they’re not. that’s how fucked up our world is now

The older this post gets the funnier it becomes

My cousin born in 2000 is a licensed psychologist.

that’s how fucked up our world is now

are they still 12-14 chat

sorry to be a broken record every month but christ menstruation is a stupid concept. oooooh excuse me for not getting pregnant, why the fuck is there goo falling out of me about it? grow the fuck up and reabsorb that shit for nutrients.

dont piss me off. next time you go on a trip im filling your house with galapagos finches. by the time you return, they've evolved to fill your niche. they're a better spouse to your partner. they're a better parent for your child. and? they're a better friend to me than you ever were.

“never kill yourself” is such a funny phrase to me that i think it’s accidently started working. its like an affrimation. say ‘never kill yourself’ enough times as a joke and maybe you won’t try to kill yourself over minor inconviences anymore

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

(violently jerking the steering wheel) my car swerves like crazy when i do this

you can post on tumblr even when you're trying to take a break from social media it literally doesn't count. it's like pepsi max, or pescatarianism