important reminder that most people you follow online are significantly lamer than you think they are including me. and if you feel insecure comparing yourself to someone online: DON'T. theyre probably also lame and weird. most people on the internet are

reblog if you're also lame and weird.

Yeah sorry I can't come into work today. I accidentally heard Primadonna by Marina formerly of and the Diamonds. So I need the day to be a primadonna girl. Yeah it's going to be the whole day.

Your artstyle is like your gut microbiome in the way its everything you consume and like and it also has all your bacteria up in it. Thats probably how that works

With a glory hole you're having a threesome with the house

I’m 400 years old and still on tumblr

did a bit of driving through the state of georgia today and wound up driving through a small town that i later discovered was called newborn, which is an odd name but doesn’t technically have anything wrong with it, except for the fact that i nearly gave myself whiplash doing a double-take at a building sign advertising NEWBORN TAXIDERMY

using a piece of paper to carry a scary bug out of my house and then forgetting about it and accidentally using the same paper to print my resume, manager i hand it to smells it and starts making a defensive acid,

prank calls are an age-old joke that can have you cracking up