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A day by the poolâŚ
Itâs the perfect spot to catch some rays and watch the water, the only draw back was the chair was sandwiched between two fat old guys. I figured the worse thing that would happen was they would fall asleep and start snoring. I figured I would take my chances and claim the spot. I sit down and they are non stop talking about a fishing trip theyâre going on. Cod, snapper, haddock they would not shutup about the fish they wanted to catch. The only positive was they did offer me a beer which I gladly accepted. After about an hour I really started enjoying the conversation and found their knowledge about all the different types of fish fascinating. At one point one of the guys looked at me and said, âAre you excited about the fishing trip Harold?â. I responded and said, âI canât wait!â.
some jobs just wear you down
Holy shitâŚ

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When I awoke in the middle of the night I immediately knew something was wrong. I tried to roll over and grab the water of my nightstand, but my weight felt completely wrong. I struggled and had to use my whole body. I was finally able to roll, but noticed my stomach was completely sticking out. It was dark, so I could barely see anything, but I sat there using my hands to feel the gut that was now attached to my body. I turned on the nightlamp, and noticed that I was in my friends Dad's room. We were on vacation with our family friends. All the kids shared a room, and my father, Richard, and my Mom, Sandra, got their own room, as well as my friends Dad, Dale, and his Mom, Lynn had their own room as well.
As my eyes adjusted to the light, I noticed that there was a body laying in the bed next to me. My vision was blurry, but I quickly realized that it was my friends Mom, Lynn. I stumbled over in shock but caught myself of my feet. I felt a low center of gravity as I stabilized myself in this wide body. I felt my weight holding me down, making it hard to move. I saw a pair of glasses on the nightstand and put them on my face, allowing my vision to be clear. I was wearing dress pants, but quickly slipped on a shirt that was on the chair in their room before stumbling out into the shared living room area.
I stood in the mirror in disbelief that my friends father was staring back at me. It felt weird to stand shorter than my previous height. I dropped the pants down to my ankles as I stared at myself, taking in my form. I traced my face, ruffling my new moustache, and rubbed my stubbled bald head. My heart raced as I felt the pressure of my gut, and my fat sagging. I had both hands on my large stomach when suddenly, I heard the door to the kids room open, and I watched as my Dad, Richard, stumbled out of the room sheepishly.
"Uh Richard- it's uh. I can explain" I said stumbling over my words. I had no idea how I was going to explain to my Dad why I was standing in the living room area with my shirt open and pants around my legs.
"Sam? Is that you?" my Dad asked. I was terrified, I had no idea how he knew. "It's me, Blake" my friend said in my father's body. We stood there in shock realizing that this was not a one-off event, we both had become each others fathers.
I couldn't help but laugh, and soon we were both doubled over with laughter.
"What do we do now?" I asked through my laughter.
"I think we go pour a glass of their whiskey and debrief" my friend laughed. It was weird hearing him joke inside of my strict fathers body. We both took a sip and let out a long "ahh", and continued to laugh realizing how similar we sounded.
"So are our Dad's in our bodies?" I asked and shuddered at the thought.
"Well that's what I wanted to see. But, when I woke up your Dad in my old body, he seemed oblivious. So I'm not sure where that leaves us" my friend responded, staring into his glass of whiskey.
"So we're stuck like this til we figure it out?" I asked staring down at my flabby body. All the jokes seemed to wash away as I realized the severity of the situation.
"At least we're adults?" my friend said trying to find a positive. "But yes, it looks like this is the case" he continued.
"I'm going to have to kiss your mom?" I asked but didn't want to know the answer.
"That's not even the worst part, I haven't been able to get rid of my boner since I woke up" my friend said grabbing his crotch. It was weird hearing my friend say that in my Dad's voice and body talking about jerking off, but he was right, I had noticed that effect to.
"Well neither of us will be able to think clearly, so I think we have to take care of it before we get back into bed with our new "wives"" I said. We both cringed at the thought, but agreed. We gave eachother a hug and waddled back to our rooms. We had no idea how we were going to get out of it, but I just have to hope that I can avoid Lynn until I can take care of myself first.
Landon ducked into the costume shop still wearing his backward cap, gym shorts, and fraternity hoodie, with the party already buzzing in his group chat. The theme was âcome as someone youâre not,â and he wanted something funnier than a toga or fake cowboy hat. Then he saw it: a full English gentlemanâs outfit on a mannequin â tweed jacket, waistcoat, crisp shirt, dark tie, bowler hat, and a polished wooden pipe tucked into a velvet-lined box. He laughed under his breath, imagining himself strolling into the frat house looking like someoneâs ancient British uncle. The pipe sold it. âPerfect,â he muttered, thinking it would be hilarious to use it later to smoke weed.
In the changing room, the costume fit too well. As soon as Landon tucked the pipe into the corner of his mouth he sold the deal. He went glassy-eyed. The tweed tightened across his shoulders, then seemed to pull his posture upright, straightening his slouch into something dignified. His horseshoe mustache, grown after losing a bet, transitioned into the start of a more distinguished handlebar style.
His smooth college face sharpened, then transitioned through middle-age: crowâs feet etching around his eyes, laugh lines deepening beside his mouth, and the skin across his forehead loosened into warm, creased maturity.
His hairline crept backward as his dark hair thinned, then began to silver at the sides. Briefly regaining some sense of self-awareness, Landon lifted a hand to his cheek, with the vague notion that something had changed - but unable to put his finger on it. He tried to say, âDude, what theââ but what came out was a crisp, startled, âGood heavens,â before the light in his eyes dimmed again.
The changes proceeded as his skin continued to age and his hair receded leaving a totally bald top. - pushing him into his 60s. What was left of his hair turned mostly white - including his signature handlebar mustache, a style he had worn for the last 40 years.
By the time he stepped out of the changing room, there was no panic left in him. The young manâs memories had folded away like discarded clothes. He adjusted his tie, placed the bowler hat neatly on his bald crown, and regarded himself in the mirror with calm approval. A distinguished English gentleman looked back: silver-haired at the sides, bright-eyed, deeply lined, and entirely at ease with himself. He gave the pipe a thoughtful puff, smiled beneath his mustache, and left the shop for home, having fully enjoyed his outing for the day and ready to curl up with a good book by the fireplace.