washed-up grade 9 catboy

she foreshadowed so hard her arms fell off

When you scatter your creative writing with a punctuation monoculture of full stops—and, instead of making regular use of the comma, semicolon, colon, parenthesis, or dash, you harvest a field of short staccato sentences—you are deliberately clipping the wings of what could have been a single, delightfully meandering, luxurious flight of a sentence. And it sucks.

i'm gonna go to leather bars and start calling myself a biker instead of a cyclist.

WHERE ARE YALL GETTING THIS/1!!1!!!????!?

Leaped over furniture like a gazelle.

•Shook hands with a baby :,}

a number of years ago when I was at Boy Scout Camp, someone shared this bit of trivia. Within days, it had become a competition, the entire camp overrun by elbow licking. See, the thing about it is, if you're aware of the licker, you can feel it. But if you don't know someone is doing it, you legitimately cannot feel the lick. So for the rest of the week, you'd spot kids sneaking up on each other, attempting to lick elbows unnoticed. It was wild.

recipes and database queries are similar but at different kinds of abstraction and relationship to the material. kinds of spellcasting

specifically a subway sandwich order is a spell you can cast requiring particular materials, people, knowledge, their relationships, and their contexts

I love it when media fucks up the wording of the Rasputin disclaimer and ends up with shit like "any resemblance to people or locations living or dead is coincidental". I'd love to know what committing libel against a dead location would entail.

Fuck the Fiesta Mall in Mesa, AZ. I heard it ate someone once.

this sea sucks shit. it doesnt even have any scrolls im sure

Not every post can be a 10/10, but never underestimate the power of belabouring a 4/10 bit.

If you do it 10 times, it turns into a 4 bit.

If you do it 20 times, it turns into an 8 bit, and then you can cash in on the nostalgia factor.

If you do it five times, it turns into a 2 bit, which you can cash in for a shave and a haircut