washed-up grade 9 catboy @oneirocartographer - Tumblr Blog

i did not notice it was orteil posting jesus christ this makes it a thosand times funnier

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pommegf

sights on the southwest coastal path, Cornwall.

huffylemon

boymounter

just ask that person out, the worst thing they can say is an esoteric incantation that topologically inverts your body

melodeelaine

Kingfisher and Great Egret lined up just right

blazing-butterfly-inactive

@notsospiteful I like the way you think

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danceundersparklinglights

i’m going to be really honest with you guys i think the tendency to read the absolute worst possible intentions into every action you don’t agree with is getting too automatic and it’s eating you from the inside out

vilebloods

baby cats very cute

haridraws

high ambient background football levels reminded me to actually finish this Personal Lore That Caused My Books comic

qwantzfeed

standing next to your own personal bespoke wario is cool because they honestly make you look GREAT

screenshotsofdespair

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screenshotsofdespair

chaumas-deactivated20240115

I had a dream that there was this magic meteor coming to destroy the planet and the only way to stop it was to do an evil alien blood transfusion on this teenage girl to give her meteor-controlling powers. She was hesitant about this because she thought her crush might not like her back if she had evil alien blood and that it would be more romantic to die hand-in-hand with him as the world exploded.

But that was a problem for another dream—first we had to get the evil alien blood. The evil alien was this huge scary radioactive slime creature. It might have actually just been Alolan Muk the Pokemon, actually. There was no way it was going to give up its blood voluntarily, so someone had to make nice with it and get close enough to siphon some off. I didn’t so much draw the short straw as get instantly drafted into the role. “Go hench for the radioactive slime monster, you’ll be so good at it.”

And lads? I was so good at it. Maybe too good. I did a whole fucking creepy Igor voice and said stuff like “very good, your sliminess” and it became so attached to me that it wanted to hold my hand and cuddle constantly. The only reason this didn’t immediately kill me is because it has a glowing golden orb it could regurgitate that would heal all wounds in the vicinity and reverse radiation damage. Getting its blood was easy. Escaping less so—I tried to kill it by mixing up some slimes for it to absorb that would theoretically have an explosive reaction. No dice. Trying to trap it in the basement didn’t work—it just oozed up out of the floorboards (it lived in my grandparents’ old house, for some reason.)

And to be clear, it was evil. It was not a nice person. Being its friend and teaching it about the power of friendship was not going to work. It killed and ate organic life for fun and liked to make me sit uncomfortably close to it on the couch to watch Jerry Springer and laugh and laugh and laugh.

I finally snuck out for long enough to make contact with my teammates and get them the blood. By this point, other, smaller meteors were already striking the Earth. When the girl initially refused the transfusion I decided I didn’t want to spend my last hours on Earth hanging out with a really mean slime monster, so I ran as fast as I could in the opposite direction, booked a room in a nice hotel, took a luxurious bath, and ate nothing but croissants and raspberries until I looked outside and saw the slime monster standing in the rain holding a boombox above its head. It wasn’t playing music or anything, it just knew that this was the cultural symbol of Please Come Back.

The dream ended with a POV shift to the girl’s crush, who told her he’d love her even if she were part slime monster and helped her do the transfusion. No word on what happened to me.

chaumas-deactivated20240115

The most stressful part of the dream was that I knew the Magical Teen Girl was gonna get all the hero cred for saving the world and no one was going to appreciate all the hard work I did putting out igorstyle for the slime alien. If anything I was gonna be the butt of jokes.

chaumas-deactivated20240115

foxes-in-love

#yay rubberducking :)

unowers

and don't let the door hit you on the way out

#waaaah #projmoon

hellomelancholic

Direct byproduct of being neurodivergent and growing up isolated from your peergroup is having no idea when it's appropriate to define someone as your friend

hellomelancholic

Is this person I met yesterday my friend? What about this person I've been talking to every day for three months? What about this person I've known since middle school? Is friend a title I have to earn? What are the limits of friendship? Is it a static state, make-or-break, or is it some endless dance-dance-revolution style cavalcade of prompts and challenges and social cues I have to hit perfectly to keep it up? Does it bend? Does it break? I don't fucking know man I just work here.

dubiousculturalartifact

i still remember when the dude doing my autism assessment asked me how many friends I had, and I was like "okay but how are we defining friendship?" and he just like, stared at me for a second and then wrote down some notes

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laneofpennies

playing deltarune is just oscillating wildly between these two images for several hours straight

#utdr

liminalspacetelescope

Hi, my name is James Webbony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Space Telescope and I am a telescope in space (that's how I got my name) and I have a five-layer aluminum-coated Kapton sunshield protecting my instruments and gold-coated hexagonal primary mirror segments like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Lady Gaga (AN: if you don't know who she is, get the hell out of here!). I'm not related to the Hubble Space Telescope, but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm an infrared telescope but I am much larger than Spitzer. I have 18 primary mirror segments. I also study exoplanets, and I go to a telescope school in L2 where I'm in orbit (I was launched in 2021). I can see distant galaxies (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly gold. I love space, and I take all my photos there. For example, today I was taking a photo of the Cartwheel Galaxy, which is about 500 million light years away. I was using my NIRcam, NIRspec, MIRI, and FGS-NIRISS. I was walking outside L2. It was around 1 million miles away from Earth and there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I unfolded my primary mirrors at them.

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washed-up grade 9 catboy