washed-up grade 9 catboy

strange man in black hooded robes with a skull mask hovering around town, hes got a stack of papers in his arms, stapling them to various poles and handing them out to bypassers. you look at the poster hes putting up everywhere. "LOST: SKELETON ARMY" is written in large text, underneath is a picture of roughly 5000 skeletons with various weapons, taken like an elementary school class photo. underneath the picture is "CALL NECRUS THE VILE" followed by an evil rune

you can have sex with music or abstract concepts but we still haven't found a way to have sex with people

There’s an emotion only unlocked when you live in a house with multiple stories. I call it “the stair emotion” and it’s when you realize the object you need is on the other side of yet another trip up and down those goddamn stairs. It’s the closest I get to transcending the desire for material goods. Maybe I don’t need that notebook. Maybe I don’t need anything.

Love character relationships that can only be described as "whatever the fuck these two have going on"

@elodieunderglass not horrible, but things with legs?

I’ll send them on their lovely journey, thank you!

gonna be so real i did not realize the bottom was about purchasing and shipping automobile parts. I thought they were straight up intending to kill and dismantle the UPS truck like some auto mechanic apex predator.

yes i do ship those characters but i ship them in an infinitely more aroace way than you will ever be able to comprehend

they're not "dating" they're not "a couple" they're intrinsically connected and intertwined with each other for eternity. they're bound together like the stars. get with the program

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

gay baby vacation on hold due to property damage