washed-up grade 9 catboy

bartender, i think i'm the father of a beautiful turtle family now?

Ok. What you're gonna want to do is chop up a cucumber and put it in a bowl. Then you're gonna sprinkle a generous portion of salt on top. Then you're gonna drizzle them with a balsamic vinaigrette and gently shake to combine, leaving you with a cool and refreshing summer snack. In 15 seconds dangerous and burly men are going to drag me away to an unknown second location. Remember everything I've taught you. I love you

Having seen some births now i can say that dog birth is amazing cos they just slip n slide out one after the other like a little conveyor belt. And theyre so little and unformed. And then UNGULATE BIRTHS ... are amazing for the opposite reason which is that 10mins after being born they are filing their taxes. Unless they are goats, in which case they are committing tax fraud instead

Goats are what is called a precocial species, which means that shortly after birth they are able to do many thimgs on their own, such as standing, walking, eating, and embezzlement

idgaf about palace intrigue just let me chill

can you at least not eat poisoned food when you have been told in advance its poisoned

juat let mw chj

i bet it feels good as fuck to intend to do something and then actually do it

i mean this from the bottom of my heart: no one is impressed by your loud ass car. actually we talked about it and we all want you dead.

*Seymour Runs Around In Circles And Stands Stock Still*

*You Begin To Feel Very Unwell As Seymours Immense Electromagnetic Presence Pervades The Area And He Stares At You Dashingly And Winks One Eye*