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@oneirocartographer
i swear if the wizard doesnt let me out of his abandoned salt mine soon im gonna fucking LOSE IT
what did you do to be put into the salt mine
i MAY have eaten his special wizard meal. but i think he should let me out tbh
was it good? was it worth it? are you able to bear the weight of your sin?
im not gonna lie it was fucking delicious i would fucking do it again. wait shit youre the fucking wizard in disguise seeing if ive learned my lesson arent you. fuck.
10 YEARS IN THE ABANDONED SALT MINE.
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im always puppy callous when im in my puppy chalice
No seriously I keep seeing this what does this mean. Can we get a dissection.
being a Bandit is pretty great. Just got a new place with a couple friends, in Doghammer Cave (long history of hammering dogs there). It's pretty nice for the area! Zero bedrooms zero bathrooms, but it's got a falling spikeball trap in the entrance and a couple big linear multipurpose rooms full of barrels. I put a couple gold coins in each barrel. Really makes it feel like home.
Our leader is Klade Doghammer (long history of hammering dogs). He's the only one of us with a name. He likes to sit in the last room (our house has a last room because it's linear) at a desk with a half-finished page of notebook about how he'll get revenge on the town someday. My best friend Female Archer Bandit said the people in the town don't even consider us human. She says if you stay a bandit long enough they kill you for money. Sometimes when she and I are alone on watch late at night I get a funny feeling in my bandit parts. I think I just heard the falling spikeball trap go off. We didn't invite anyone over today but I hope it's someone friendly. Being a bandit is pretty great.
Drink Squirt!
You will love the taste of Squirt! Please help me escape from caves. Doctors always say that I am normal but I think there is maybe something not right because near every time I leave the house I fall into a large sinkhole or one opens up and swallows me. Other times I don't fall in. I simply look up from whatever I am doing and I realize, yep, I am once again in a cave. I stay at home most days and spend quality time with my fish but still I have fallen into 315 caves over the last five years. I am beginning to suspect that it is the same cave every time (how?) and sometimes I think I can hear a voice when I am in there, and it is saying things to me that I do not like (insults, etcetera). I can't explain it but the voice sounds like me or like what I imagine I would sound like if I was a happier person. The words are cruel but the voice fills me with a warmth like nothing else that I have ever experienced. I will not stop falling into caves. I will fall into them every chance I get. I feel that I need to find the owner of that voice. I don't know what I want from them but I know I need something. I must find them and ask them why they are doing this, or maybe fight to the death, or we will kiss, or possibly they are a part of me that I have been missing for a very long time. I do not feel whole. I do not feel whole. Every time I am in the cave I walk in the dark and in the cold for many hours and the voice gets closer and closer, but just when I feel I might finally catch up to it, I instead stumble into a steep narrow crevice and at the top of the crevice I can see sunlight coming down into the cave where I am and I know that now even if I turn back I will not hear the voice that insults me, only the dripping of water and the shifting of earth. I do not like climbing up the crevice because it is hard to do and it hurts my hands and arms and I know I will not hear the voice anymore once I am out until the next time it happens. When I get to the top it seems like it is a different crevice every time, and if I leave and come back it is always gone. If you happen to be walking and you see a deep crevice, please lower a rope just in case I am in there. I will also pay if you have any information about the voice that is down in it, cash or favors (nothing sexual). My fish is named Brent and I love him a lot. Thank you very much.
The Stellagrapher
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Colored sketch.. excited for the new chapter!!
I think instrumence should be free for those who are pure of heart
u should be able to put ur hand down and let the instrument sniff u and if it smells a beautiful quality in ur heart and spirit that's ur instrument now. stray tumpet follow you home.. bwaa
Sniff my hand, sweet bwa bwaa.... You will be safe with me
I had a dream the other week about these people fighting back against an assault from another world. Most of them weren’t experienced fighters, but average people who banded together (although Gimli was there because dreams).
This particular woman’s job was to throw a javelin through a dimensional portal, tethering the two worlds together and allowing the defenders to control where the fight happened. They later built a statue of her. In her day-to-day life, I think she owned a fabric shop.
Prints available through Inprnt!
[Image Description: A digital illustration of a woman preparing to throw a javelin through a portal. She is a fat, dark-skinned South Asian woman with long dark hair in a braid. She wears a navy blue crop top and dark reddish dhoti. We see her from behind, her left arm extended towards the portal while her right arm is reared back, holding a glowing white javelin which trails a tether on the ground behind her. The sky is mostly overcast with dark blue-grey clouds, but an intense sunset orange breaks through closer to the horizon. Through the glowing portal, the blue curve of another planet is visible. /end ID]
thinking about the time a former housemate said to me "hey I put these box fans in the living room because it's hot" while gesturing to the fans that I was actively sitting in front of because it was hot. and I said "okay thanks." and she kept standing there like she was waiting for something else so I said "am I blocking the airflow? do you need me to move?" and she said no I'm just letting you know they're here, in the living room, for circulation. and I said well yes, I did put that together. I am enjoying them. thank you. and she looked confused. so I asked "am I meant to do something with this information or are you just informing me?" and she said no I'm letting you know they're here because It's Hot In Here. she seemed a bit aggravated, and her emphasis seemed deliberate.
it took me asking three more times before she finally told me she wanted me to leave the fans where they are instead of moving them to my room or something. and I said oh! I had no intention of doing so but thank you for letting me know what the expectation is.
about a month later she brought up that conversation as the moment it actually clicked for her that I Am Autistic And Will Not Magically Intuit The Unspoken Request You Didn't Ask Me.
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Still on my utility pole bullshit
Yeah dawg
LOL so the other day I was scampering about squeaking and looking for cheese and such when I saw the farmer out in the field and, get this, he was trying to pull a turnip out of the ground, but the turnip was like really big, right, so he couldn’t do it 😅 like he was really struggling. Weak fuckinh farmer. So he calls over his wife and she holds onto his waist and starts pulling too but the turnip is still stuck. So she calls over their kid and she grabs onto her grandma and now all three of them are huffing and puffing but the damn turnip won’t budge. This is one crazy ass root vegetable. So they call over the dog and I’m thinking, girl, this is not going to work. but the dog bites down on the kids pants and starts pulling. It’s like a damn conga line. No dice. The dog starts whimpering and next thing you know the cat wanders over and bites the mutt right on her tail and starts pulling. So I’m laughing my ass off at this point but the cat starts looking at me. And normally we don’t really get on, the cat and me. But there’s this desperation in her eyes. In all of their eyes, really. Like, if I can’t dig up a damn tuber then who am I. What’s the point of it all, if there’s an enormous turnip that’s stronger than me. And I can see the future unfolding in my mind. The cat will never respect the dog again, and dog will never obey the kid, who will probably run away from home to find a new jacked grandma. And the farmers wife will leave him, and the whole damn charade of masculinity will crumble and fall. And I shouldn’t care right. I have no stake in this. This is some funny shit. But how funny would it be if little old me pitched in and the turnip actually came uprooted. I’ve got no ego. nobody respects a gay little mouse in this city. If I don’t make a difference here, no loss. But if I save the day? Can you imagine? Outdid by a mouse? The farmer would be delivering me fresh brie on the daily and the cat would probably have to move to a different area code to escape the mockery. So, in the spirit of cooperation, I grab the cat’s tail, and I give a little tug. Just the one. And I swear to god, it feels like an earthquake. Up comes the turnip, big as a house, and the farmer falls on his ass, and so does his wife, and all down the line. And I hop up on the cats head and scamper up the backs of the team as they catch their breath, and I leap up onto the turnip itself and I take a big bite out of it. And let me tell you: that shit? Tasted like a turnip
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Nobilis Dash Simulator
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It just feels inhumane to lose this much
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TTRPGs (pronounced "Titterpigs") were a popular form of group amusement in the early twenty-first century.
lolan i have just discovered the dewey decimal system. we need to take all 2.147.483.647,694201337 books down and reorganize them from scratch
