👻

WHO IS USING THIS

AN APP??? THEY HAVE A FUNCTIONING WEBSITE

He comes home late from patrol because a bunch of pythons at the zoo got loose and he could only lure them back with a flute Pied Piper style

He got the flute from his language-learning buddy in Japan

He is learning Japanese after he had difficulty communicating with a civilian who witnessed someone stealing a combine harvester

The only reason he was in the countryside to investigate that case was because he needed a horse to win a race

A race he's in because he signed up for the wrong thing when he really meant to enter a robot wrestling tournament

The robot, of course, being a trophy of his first solo battle against Lex Luthor

And he was only there because he had box tickets to a Metropolis baseball game

Which he got in a raffle that his friends entered him in without telling him

Because he got them all a gold medal at the science fair by bringing real moon rocks

Xie lian: 👍🏻

Heavenly officials: He's challenged 33 gods and made them lose their godhood

Xie lian: 👍🏻 *kisses him*

Heavenly officials: He'll kill you!

Xie lian: 👍🏻 *sleeps with him*

Xie Lian really humored these three.

Hua Cheng is the least offensive of these three. He’s not really actively trying to hide his identity per se. I imagine that he didn’t want to straight up lie to Xie Lian, which is why he only disguised his appearance and then proceeded to be the weirdest person ever. Like mans lowkey waltzed up to Xie Lian and said “Hey bestie, I’m just a good old normal, 100% average teenager who is most definitely not a ghost king or anything like that! Look, I can breathe!“ and then proceeded to info dump a shit ton of information about gods and shit like he’s Wikipedia which a normal, 100% average teenager who is most definitely not a ghost king would most positively not know.

However, our other two offenders actually thought they were fooling Xie Lian, whom may I remind you, is legit their childhood friend. They swapped color pallets and called it a day. And not only did they not try to not act like their selfs in the personality sense in their disguises, they also were just so bad at pretending not to be themselves. Like, someone says “General” in the cave where all the travelers were hiding and they both respond like it’s them being addressed. Idiots.

Also, the three of them just bicker half the time. Mu Qing and Feng Xin just kept yelling that this random nepo-baby Xie Lian picked up was so sus and trying to prove it to him while Xie Lian sits there and tells them to go for it while he snickers internally, knowing the identity of every single disguised person in the room.

These three legit had an argument about whether or not this “San Lang” could drink water. That’s just so fucking funny to me.

Honorable mentions in this arc is Feng Xin getting the shit beat out of him by Windmaster because he somehow was unaware that they swapped gendered forms (which btw, how the fuck did he not know this)?! Also, He Xuan and Hua Cheng just seeing each other in disguises because I wish I got their internal monologues for that.

Xie lian: 👍🏻

Heavenly officials: He's challenged 33 gods and made them lose their godhood

Xie lian: 👍🏻 *kisses him*

Heavenly officials: He'll kill you!

Xie lian: 👍🏻 *sleeps with him*

Sure no one can control ascension, it just kinda happens, it's up to fate whether you succeed or not- but it really looks like Xie Lian purposely ascended solely to beat them up and run the Heavenly Emperor through with a sword. And now that's done, he's as at peace as a buddha and settles into a humble life of busking and scrap collecting, no resentment at all in his heart now that he had fulfilled his heart's wish: beat up the gods in heaven and stab the heavenly emperor.

Xie lian can be such a little shit and im am SO here for it!

Hua Cheng (And Hualian) but as Textposts I’ve found