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But half way through her life she was hit by depression and intermittently it hurt her for the rest of her life. And a few years before this show, like Vincent, she took her own life.

And in the key scene of the episode - when they bring Vincent to the future... that was me trying to show Bin how glorious she had been in our lives - and how nothing could change that.

And then also to deal with the fact that mental health issues are hard - and the capacity for joy, as I know Bindy did know how much she was loved, is intertwined with the immense difficulty of the illness sometimes...

See, Zooble has always been self-assured in every part of themselves /except/ their body, and by extension probably their identity, since the two could definitely be linked. And I think that drives Jax insane. A confident non-binary person? Someone who goes against all the norms? It's no wonder Jax consistently picks on them.

See, Zooble recognizes parts of themself in Jax. See, Zooble knows Jax is only mean due to insecurities and inner troubles. I remember after episode 6 aired, people called Pomni emotionally intelligent because she recognized that Jax pushing her away was bullshit, and that they /DID/ form a connection, and Jax was being an asshole. And they're right! Pomni is emotionally intelligent! But so is Zooble, maybe even more-so. The difference between Pomni and Zooble is exposure to Jax (Zooble's been around longer) and willingness to put up with his shit to reach inside and see who Jax really is (Zooble is not, and no one should expect them to. Not wanting to bond with someone who is cruel to you and others is perfectly valid).

It's the maid dress confirming to Zooble that yeah, this is an egg for sure. It's the beginning of episode 7, when Zooble very openly admits that maybe being able to choose their own body isn't such a con, and that if they still have issues, they /talk to those they trust/, very clearly telling Jax to do the same, less clearly saying that they understand how it feels to be in a body you don't like. It's Zooble telling Jax to sit back down, don't wander off and just kill yourself abstract, you're a part of the team. I don't like you, but I care for you, and I want you to be well.

See, Zooble doesn't sacrifice their personality and feelings to get away from Jax, they double down on their authenticity, and I think it scares Jax. Immovable object meets unstoppable force, real authenticity meets hallowed out shell. Zooble is a constant work in progress, and accepts that they're a work in progress, may always be a work in progress, and Jax can't stand the thought of change, of being anything else. There can't be an in-between moment, it has to be either hard right or hard left, and staying right where he is is easiest, so Jax stays.

Zooble is complicatedly grief-stricken when Jax abstracts. "Of course he'd wait until we couldn't do something," they say. It's sarcastic and accusatory and said in a very defeated voice. Obviously Zooble doesn't believe Jax abstracted to get back at anyone, but Jax was a jerkwad, a tormenter, and someone Zooble saw was very deeply hurt in ways that resonated deep within themself. They're feeling as many complex emotions as Gangle. It's hard to be sad for someone you hated, who hated you, not just "hard" as in "I can't get myself to be sad" but also "hard" as in "I'm sad and it's causing me distress since this person was so awful to me."

Zooble never reached out, and that's okay, it's not their duty to do that, they didn't have to, but I think it eats away at their psyche. "If I had just given him a chance, if I had just pushed a little harder," etc etc, even though nothing would've changed and it all would've ended the same. "At least I can say I tried." But Zooble /did/ try, many times, it just "wasn't enough" because they weren't coming from the same angle as Pomni. Never mind that nothing would've ever been "enough" since Jax had dug his grave and died in it, long before Zooble or Pomni joined the circus. It's the tragedy of Jax; nothing done by anyone else could've prevented what happened, only Jax could have, and Jax didn't, and now he and she is dead.

I just want to mention that Zooble was the one leading abstracted Jax into the pillow fort at the end, sacrificing their own body parts in hopes they could help Jax, even just a little. The body parts that Zooble has become more and more comfortable with experimenting with and changing and mixing and matching, all to play a part in rehabilitating someone whose mind might be long-gone for all they know, but deserves kindness all the same. Because that's who Zooble is, a team player and kind person who knows what they're worth and knows what others are worth, too.

The Brittish goverment was unwilling to do anything for two reasons. First was the laissez-faire capitalistic ideology, that put the rights of property owners to make profits above human lives. Rent freeze was unthinkable and they even were unwilling to do proper relief efforts as free food would lower the cost of food. The second reason was distain for the Irish, and the thought that they were “breeding too much” and the famine was a natural way to trim down the population, aka genocidal reasoning.

This is why it’s important to stress it was not a potato famine. The potato blinght was all over Europe but only in Ireland there was a famine. The reasons behind it had nothing to do with potatos and everything to do with the Brittish.

Apparently what made Choctaw want to offer relief to Irish was the news about the Doolough Tragedy. Hundreds of starving people were gathered for inspection to verify they were entitled to recieve relief. The officials would for *some reason* not do that and instead left to a hunting lodge 19 kilometers away to spend the night and said to the starvqing people they would have to walk there by morning to be inspected. The weather conditions were terrible and many of them died completely needlessly during the walk thoroung day and night.

This apparently reminded the Choctaw of their own very recent (and much more explicit and bigger scale) experiences of ethnic clensing, where they were forcibly relocated. It was basically a death march and thousands of Choctaw died from the terrible conditions also completely needlessly.

In 2015 a memorial named Kindred Spirits was installed in Southern Ireland to commemorate the Chactow donation.

Then in 2020:

RECONSTRUCT WHAT?!?!

Made this post about 15 minutes after the repair guy who fixed the pump on my dishwasher packed up his tools and left, as the dishwasher was whirring along doing my dishes from that morning.